Checking on day 68
Days alone, like today, are my absolute favorite. Husband is playing in a concert and I’ll meet him there this afternoon but the rest of the day is mine. It’s so crazy that I still think (infrequently) of drinking on days like today. My brain plans it without my permission before I have the chance to acknowledge it and shut it down. I won’t be drinking today. I wish I hadn’t thought of it. I hope everyone is having a peaceful day.
Thank for your concern but I know how to manage my bloodpressure if I am out of meds. I checked my bloodpressure several times today and it’s fine.
Day 53… I’m still sober.
My motivation is shit though. It’s like, ‘Okay, if you’re not gonna act out, then fuck it; you’re not gonna do anything.’
I’m just getting out of bed (it’s noon here). And, I had to force myself to do that.
I do have a couple small DIYs I can tackle around the house - I guess I’ll do that.
Stay strong and stay sober everyone!
(Even when it sucks to do so.)
@Butterflymoonwoman , @RaggedTrouseredPhil… I appreciate you. 
2nd check-in
Out of the blue came massive cravings to smoke weed. I’m not gonna smoke, no worries, but I’m playing mental games what if I just smoke a little bit to relax, to get rid of this anxiety and to feel good, even for just a shorter time. But I’ve been without that shit over a month and I don’t wanna throw that time away. This is the first time I have had cravings, but these feelings shall pass. Oh well, I’m gonna drink more coffee, that always helps.
Good to know. Being lethargic is not normal. Hope you feel better soon!!!
I find motivation comes and goes. I go thru phases (even at 4.5+ years of recovery). Youre still checking in, youre not isolating, and your moving forward (even if its baby steps forward). Super proud of you! No matter what, dont pick up and play that tape to the end 
Day 55 
Summer is coming to an end, and so is my remote-working season. Time to get back to the city, back to the office, and into a new rhythm. 
I’m proud of you for recognizing that the cravings will pass. Don’t let the mind games grab you too hard okay? You deserve the sobriety you’ve put so much of yourself into.
It was the best day!
Thank you, my dear friend. I’m feeling better now, the cravings went away. Just a reminder how tricky addictions can be.
Very long day yesterday. And lots of reason
And excuses I could have used to be with my demon. But nope, my head hit pillow sober
. Today, reading around here, posting a little and sitting in the quiet house listening to rain outside!! I love it!! Born and raised in PNW and I’m ready for the rain to come back!! My trees need it and so do I. I will not drink today.
@Dazercat thank you !
@EthanHunt i have been there so many times brother. I know where you are at. I’m praying for you man. I am still learning and fighting but naps are amazing for me.
Hoping you are enjoying your Sunday off Jasmine.
I feel the same. My motivation is just not there. I napped until about 1 today. I hope you were able to complete a few projects today. Wishing you well 
I napped for a bit today, got up around 1. I’ve been extremely tired lately. Mostly because I smoke. The other half is because meds. But anyway, I did see a friend today for about an hour or so and it was really really nice. I haven’t seen her in months, and she’s part of the reason I got sober. I’m 45 days today from alcohol and I feel really good about it. Got a gratitude meeting to attend tonight at 8pm that i look forward to every Sunday. I never really share though, idk why I’m always so afraid.
I hope everyone had a good sober weekend! Much love. 
@Noshame WHOOHOO 2 years friend. Congrats to you! Sorry I was not on yesterday to officially celebrate with you 
that really is stinky thinking. Glad you are finding a way to enjoy your life now. Friday night movie times with homemade pizza sounds lovely!! 
@BriCrowe Much love to you friend - Keep working on the smoking. Some find it easier to plan for the quit date and be prepared for the withdrawals and have the coping tips ready. Many tips on the Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products) (Part 2) thread that may be helpful. Your story / your journal does not have to be perfect or chronological. Start with wherever your hearts says and know you can always add to that chapter in the future. I struggled with making sure all my words were right and that I didn’t forget something in my share that it took me years to actually put it into words. Its your story so you can share it in whatever way that works for you Sorry your plans changed like that - hope you were able to enjoy the day. Sometimes a day of sleep / rest is what’s necessary - this is what I am doing today. Hope you enjoy your gratitude meeting. For me I hate having to talk in a group or in front of more than 2 people. I did have to say a few words when I attended my AA meeting and it really was so nerve wrecking waiting my turn. But then it felt so easy and freeing to share. I do hope that when you are ready to you will feel it to be an easy experience.
@PinkFirefly I am so very sorry love. Sending you and your family my deepest condolences and love. So very grateful that your sobriety numbers are in tact. 60 days no weed is brilliant!! Keep fighting the good fight We are here for you love - be kind to yourself as grief is going to be strong and come at you in waves 
@Madds Double 6’s! That is awesome girl I am glad you have a lovely trip to look forward to. I do hope that you are able to enjoy it and feel some relaxation. It really could be all three things you mentioned. I know you don’t want to be miserable but when we are stuck in a rut for so long that is the space we feel most comfortable if that makes sense. You deserve to be happy and live a stress free enjoyable life. Talking with someone may be helpful in allowing yourself to accept this as your reality. Sending yourself positive affirmations of your self worth may also help Sending love your way OOH your hubby is playing a concert? What type of music? Hope you are able to go and enjoy. Sorry about those stupid drinking thoughts - they do invade our brain space without any permission. Glad we can squash them when we are aware of them
@Leveller Sorry about your lack of sleep how work went smoothly. Hopefully you are enjoying your day off today. That really is a beautiful pic! Thanks for sharing. Your Sunday sounds lovely - what a wonderful beach capture and seeing the seals and robins
@Bunto Glad you are back here getting on track. Glad it feels different and you will be more committed. We really don’t know how many chances we have at this. Grateful you are setting up some healthy way around you to keep you on track. ODAAT 
@RaggedTrouseredPhil WHOOHOOO 1 week no vaping - you go on with your bad self
@Puddingface33 YIPPEEE 3 months of awesomeness! 
Glad you are celebrating 3 months and enjoying a music weekend! How cool is that!!! That is one hell of a hat and always love seeing your smile! It really is so contagious
@Louloubelle Nice! that is awesome love. Way to get yourself to the gym too Been a hard week but luckily I am able to rest up today and hoping for a easier week ahead
Heyy bestie
Its all good over here
I have a cold and its terrible.
Such is life
@CueBall8n9 WHOHOO 1 month is awesome - love this for you! Hope you enjoyed that coffee with your AA member Thank you friend - I am taking it easy today and resting up. It has been a decent day
definitely a proud moment. Sorry about the sleep - hope it gets better for you soon.
@Jules000 OH that is awesome to hear - love the pics. Glad you had such a great time
@EthanHunt Grateful that you did not let those thoughts fester or take over. We can have some challenging days. Grateful you stayed the course and found ways to cope with the challenges. ODAAT Hope you are enjoying that new book! I am sorry about the motivation - some days are just blah. Glad we don’t turn to our DOC for any support (We know it really has nothing to offer). Hope the DIY’s were a good distraction and possibly helped changed mindset
@MrMoustache I am so sorry friend. A flat mood can lead to depression. I am grateful you are meeting with a psychologist tomorrow. Hoping you find relief from the support. Keep leaning on us here… you are not alone FUCK those senseless cravings. Sorry they came at you like that. Grateful you know that you won’t get any proper relief. Grateful you are safe in your sobriety and that you came here to share. One moment at a time
@Marieke I am sorry that you have been without meds for 2 days. That can get scary. Hope you are able to enjoy those comforting things and feel some joy - sending you calming happy vibes
@Jwfletcher4792 WOW!! 2 weeks is awesome work! Love how well you are doing on this recovery journey - keep putting in the work - rewards are endless
@Von100 Be super proud of yourself. You did not pick up and you are enjoying another sober hangover free day! Hope today is a easier day for you
@Noshame OH NO - sorry about your cold. Rest up friend. Hope you feel better soon
Checking in on Sunday night
1362 days free of alcohol and weed
1777 days free of cigarettes (OOH I live this number)
Had a busy day yesterday. The festival turned out successfully. I am grateful I made it through and more grateful that I have today to rest up It has been a very chill day.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Thanks ill try
Thank you so much …
I finally got myself going, and I did complete a few tasks around the house.
We keep going - one day at a time.
