Checking in mid day lol
Day 7
Had abit of a rough morning but pulled through. Changed my thinking and kept busy. Followed the suggestions given to me by people in this group 
Instead of buying drugs tonight I will be ordering out something healthy, then eating icecream lol, and then getting a good rest. I will tackle tomorrow when it comes (payday). But so far its 1 minute at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 day at a time 
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Wow!!! congratulations on your sober days. And thanks for still checking in to inspire us mere mortals.
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Nice one, you really do have true spirit 
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Thatās really scary. Please keep us posted, sending prayers.
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My old roommate talked about Wim Hof so much I finally tried it after he sent me a youtube video for the 3rd time. Ice man! My room mate loved him so much he bought a horse trough for the backyard to do ice baths. Wont lie I did try an ice bath and I think it worked for my anxiety. Also, learning to breathe has helped enormously!
So sorry to hear that! Really hope u get the operation soon and it goes well.
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Checking in for a second time today, really on the depression struggle bus 
I canāt recall ever feeling this bad for lack of a better word. I sure know alcohol wonāt help, it would make time disappear though. I guess I do have a lot going on, and I do get seasonal depression. I guess I just need to tough it out a little longer. The winter is very short here in NC, and I remember panicking when it was nearing. Iām half tempted to move back to South Florida. Maybe itās something to seriously consider. The problem would be with my sweet 14 year old daughter. She loves it here and would need to stay here. I just couldnāt leave her.
I left work early again. Went home, ate like shit and slept. I was planning to work.
My friendās memorial service is Saturday. Iām all butt hurt because I wasnāt included in the plans and was forgotten. Typical. I donāt know if I can even bring myself to go. Those things are hard on me and I would be going so I donāt get judged. Itās gross how I left fear of judgement rule my life.
I guess Iām just venting. Sober. Planning to stay that way for today.
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It sucks when u have a period when u are just slogging away, and nothing seems to go right.
I guess only u can decide what is best for u about the funeral. Would u regret it later if u didnāt go? If u would go purely for others, then maybe allow urself not to go. U have to do what is best for u, no-one else. I think I personally would make a different decision, but that is by-the-by.
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sorry Iām not suddenly stalking you and using my dog but Iāve got a funeral tommorow and am really nervous about it, so much alcohol, misery and maybe drugs. We are strangers in that environment now, it will feel like looking through a window into another world. Hope you get your happy head on again soon.
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Lol oh em gee
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Thanks @Misokatsu. I would not regret not going. Iāve been to very few in my life and donāt handle them well emotionally. People actually caring that Iām there, such as needing me there, not an issue. More like I would be judged for ānot caringā when itās actually quite the opposite. My parents always protected me from funerals and never let me go when I was younger, so I donāt know. I find them somewhat traumatizing. I just got another email forwarded to me confirming that I was forgotten and a complete afterthought. So they probably wonāt even notice 
@Dolse71 youāre making me laugh today and I REALLY need that 
Sorry you have a funeral tomorrow too. That really sucks and sounds like quite a triggering scenario. Mine will be a bit more vanilla, but, ugh. I donāt know. Iāll be sending you positive sober vibes, and my dog will be wiggling her butt 
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Shhhh!!! I may need to think of this to keep me going at the funeral, Iāll be the only one with a grin on my face. OK thatās me done for the day, need sleep. You look after yourself. 
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If u wouldnāt regret it, u donāt handle them well, and u arenāt needed, then zero reasons to go, right? So make the decision and be confident in it as being best for u.
@Dolse71 Funerals sure suck. Stay strong.
Even though the person is currently still alive I know I have a horrendous one in the future. I have watched her shrink from obese to skeleton. And she has a moderately or even severely mentally disabled son and was the breadwinner in her family.
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Back again 
feeling positive. I am just a little past my first 24 hours. Had a lot to catch up on, actually started reading yesterday but not posting until now. I usually have only done morning check ins in the past but this time I am going to check in first thing and before bedtime and any time I have a craving. Hope everyone is having a great day/night and canāt wait to conquer day 2!!! 
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Welcome back, sounds like a good plan. Looking forward to your check ins 
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168 Days. Still have too much shit going on. Got a notice to appear in court next week. Apparently I missed my DUI class. I was so caught up in my insurance license class/test going on the same week and totally missed the notice that came by mail. Now I have to shell out more money for my attorney to go with me to avoid jail.
Work wants my drivers license info. New guidelines that I have to be clear to drive to client meetings. Well thatās a problem since Iām suspended til July. How the hell am I gonna get out of this and still keep my job? I wanted to keep the DUI from them and now I have to come clean. Ugh!!
I feel like Iām constantly taking 2 steps forward and 1 back. I got home from work and broke down. My husband held me and said āweāll get thru this. Youāre doing all the right stuff, donāt let all this shit tear you down. God has a plan, keep moving forward. Iām here for you.ā Wow, this is the sober husband I love. Heās finally back and fighting with me, instead of against me.
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Damn, that is a lot, but I know youāll work some magic and get it worked out. The last part made me smile, thatās really sweet and so great to have him sober and supportive. 
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Wow Lisa, that really sucks! I thought you were long overdue some good news. 
Itās wonderful that your husband is being so supportive. You are strong and resilient and will come through this part of your journey even stronger!
Hugs, love and prayers 
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Iām trying to come up with a plan by morning for work. At least Iām clear headed and calm now to face this. Itās the fear thatās getting to me but I donāt think theyāll let me go. I really didnāt wanna divulge my personal crap. Oh well, it is what it is.
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Thanks, heās been amazing lately. At least I got that going for me.
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