Day 1 sober. With fever in home. Day of reflection
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735.xx Happy Wednesday. Cant sleep. Been up on and off. In bed listening to the birds outside. Looks like spring is about to be sprung. Have an awesome day my friends.
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@Dolse71 thank you!!! Yesterday I spoke with my sponsor. Although I felt full of shame and disappointment with myself
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Weird day yesterday. I found a great apartment uptown, but the anxiety over being approved is stressing me out. They said I have to give notice at my current apartment before sending the rental verification. That has me on edge. However, he said everything looks good and I know I have a perfect rental history so I should be fine. One of the ways my OCD manifests is with numbers, I even named my company with the number 13 in it. Itās my lucky number, long story. Anyway, my apartment number (God willing) is 1714, those numbers add up to 13. So I was super excited and all like, itās a sign lol. This anxiety will be wild until I get my lease signed.
Got a long text from the guy I was supposed to partner with last night. Checking to see if we are still good and all that. He was kind of hurt by how I immediately shut him down without listening to what he had to say. I apologized if it was perceived that way. Iām just over it, and really over being a people pleaser.
So on that note, I guess Iāve been a little scrappy. The gal that was working on my divorce moved to another firm. Now Iām stuck with perv and his new girl who is a robot. She āas per my last emailāed me. Awwww hell no. There was no info in that email so I called her out. Of course perv was a total jerk about it. Let him freaking try me. I have enough evidence on my phone to disbar that m-fer. Iām tired of being a doormat. I can guarantee Iām not the only client he sexually harasses. Heās an arrogant pig.
Hereās a couple of examples (edited to add these are months apart, I did not respond at all to that first one):
āāāāā-
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@Dutchie congrats on triple digits - that was one (of many) big turning points for me.
@Nvbookthief - well done on 90 days, BIG progress!
@Girlinterrupted - thatās awful, sounds like you should report that totally unacceptable behavior.
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Day 95. Off this week with my little human. Trying to keep busy so heās not buried in screen time. Weāve done some baking, library trips, snow playā¦ today might attempt a haircut for him, stop by my work in the next town over. Trip to pool tomorrow. Maybe bring food donations to animal shelter. I canāt believe 100 days is approaching! Have a great day to you all.
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Ew. What a creepy creeper. You donāt need to be talked to or objectified that way. What an asshole. You should definitely report him, thatās absolutely wrong wrong wrong!!! 
I have been reading your posts and after some of the things you have been through, you definitely donāt need to be spoken to like that by pigs like that. I hope you can get this sorted out. Have a wonderful day 
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Good morning all you awesome sober people. I honestly physically feel pretty terrible, but spiritually and mentally I feel fucking fantastic after fighting that battle and winning yesterday!!! Starting day 7 today, Iām going to pull myself together and tackle this day sober. Have a great Wednesday yāall 
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@Girlinterrupted
What a dickhead. That is totally sexual harrassment! I agree with reporting, that is blatant and u have proof!
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@Briella feel better 
@Misokatsu thatās just a small snippet, the other stuff is too vulgar to post. Iām surprised heās not already been reported. I think he preys on the weak. Heās a very attractive man with a perceived good job, so these other ladies probably just give into him. I donāt know. As for me, heās just a joke. But if he wants to eff with me like yesterday, heāll regret it. Heād be ruining his own career, not me. He cleaned up his email shortly after, I guess because he realizes. Iām unhinged and angry lately. Try me world lol
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Just remember to focus on what does resonate with you in AA and not with what does not
Good for you getting more involved 
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Day 37, still feeling pretty good. Felt pretty bad for my 4 year old, she goes to dance and the teacher told my mother yesterday that it might be best to try a different class bc she is distruptive and doesnāt like to listen to some of the things. She said she does pretty good for the most part, my daughter is having a very hard time bc she is back and forth between me and her mother, she has add pretty good. Anyways Iām gonna talk to her myself today and let her know everything is ok, and if she wants to continue dance she can. If not Iāll find something to do her with, like I said Iām gonna start taking her jogging with me so maybe that will help her. My buddy letās me go lift all the time, Iāve never had to ask bc heās never cared. But yesterday when he came home, he said Mike you need to start telling me when you come to lift. In a upset voice, it kind of put me off but I just apologized and said no problem will do.he has been my best friend since I was 13, he has a bad drinking problem. And Iām wondering if him seeing me do better is starting to get to him and so thatās why he maybe did that. Anyway I didnāt let any of it affect my mood. I stayed calm and collected. I still like to write it out just to fully get it out and move on. Hope you guys all have a happy sober Weds. My girls come home today so Iām super excited about that 
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Thanks donāt let anyone mess with you giiirl!!! Stand up for yourself always 
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Thats because we understand totally. And grow to care re others journey. Peaceful what is that ha ha ā¦ keep the humour going you do make me laugh and boy does that feel good. Good and brave about Sponsor wise move. My support at moment has just been here and books podcasts etc. But when i am working dealing with normal stress and pain in ass people that will be my test. And will then seek some extra tools e.g like SMART etc.
Look forward to hearing how it went.
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Good for you on 37 days 
thanks again for yesterday, you helped me a lot. I do not like when people (especially teachers do things like that), but honestly dance is a little boring for most kids that age. My daughterās best friend did not do well with dance either, mainly because she just didnāt like it or find it fun. She loved and still loves gymnastics. Maybe you can look into that for your daughter? Gymnastics is fun and useful, and no damn recitals LOL 
have a great day sober friend
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Youāre welcome, very proud of you:). And you are so right. Iāve noticed when Iāve taken her to dance she wants to run all over and jump and thinks itās play time,all the other lil kids are so well behaved and sitting still and shyš. Not my girl, and personally I love that she is like that bc she is being her self,and now that u said that Iām pretty sure it is boring for her. Unfortunately we have such a small town that there is no gymnastics, I think Iām just gonna let her come with me and start doing the bike rides and jogs, start teaching her things. I donāt want her to have to feel the way she did yesterday, she was crying bc of it. And them my mom relayed only part of it to my ex, so then she called me, and then I call my mom to get the full story and my mom freaked out on. Iām sick or being in the middle of you twoā¦ I was like mom youāre not stuck in the middle, everything is ok I just wanted the whole story so I can get this figured out. But yeah she took it as me trying to attack her and tried turning it into a fight. I said you know what mom Iām gonna let you calm down and when you want to talk rationally about it call me back. She didnāt like that eitherš, but these use to be triggers for me. Iām not gonna let her ruin me anymore. Anyway have a good day thank you
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I only had to do that a few times with my son before he got the hint and gave that nonsense up. Stay strong mama!
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Day 232. Hit the gym. Our office is back to normal after yesterdayās toxic air issue. Busy day, making up for lost time yesterday. Also the lady and I got our flights and hotel booked for our trip out to Tucson in June. Stoooooooked!
Preparing to lose my mind tonight. This band has helped me through some hard times over the years, and I finally get to see them tonight. Theyāre playing a venue that is about the size of a living room, so, itās gonna be a sweaty mess.
Have a strong day!!!
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Well done on your sober days as ever and enjoy the gig. MOSH PIIIIIIT!!! 
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Visual representation of me tonight:
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