Day 1…again. Feel terrible all the time, gained a concerning amount of weight in a relatively short period of time. Just depressed more often than not. I was sober for a year and 4 months then convinced myself I could drink occasionally. We all know how that goes… Now I have been drinking every night and sometimes in the morning. Driving when I have no business driving, and just being a terrible person. I miss sober me, she was a lot skinnier and had no alcohol-related shame and guilt. Today I am sober and I will be tomorrow. I plan to update daily for motivation.
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Keep updating and reading
Remember not to pick up no matter what
You got this
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Maybe try ameeting they will help you on your sober journey wish you well
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Welcome Taylor 
Sounds like you know what you want and you have some goals. That’s a good place to start!
This thread was helpful for me (still is helpful - there’s lots of valuable info here): Resources for our recovery
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You’re on the right track, just took a detour. Yay for 1 year and 4 months! That’s something pretty outstanding to be proud of!! I haven’t made it there yet. You’re here and haven’t given up, so onward and upward! Hope to hear more from you in the coming days.
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@Taylor1 Just wanted to let you know you are not alone I had relapsed many times before I finally got it and surrendered. Do you have any support? Family, friends? The 12 steps works for a lot of us who have struggled before, maybe this time you could try going to AA and just seee what happens. I don’t think I could have done this without support and meetings.
You just made a mistake my friend, hang in there and consider checking out meetings. The twelve steps/powers greater than I have transformed my life
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Congratulations on reaching one year & four months! I’m really sorry you’ve been struggling since the recent slip. Please remember that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling right now…I just hit thirty days again after reaching a personal record of sobriety. I’m sure almost everyone here relates & I’m glad you’re reaching out. What’s helped me this time around was finding a good meeting in my area…one where I felt safe, supported, and not judged. That sense of connection has made all the difference.
Please be kind to yourself. Recovery isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up for yourself, one day at a time. And no matter what happened yesterday, every single day is a new chance to start again. You’re worth that fresh start. <3
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Welcome to the forum @Taylor1 alcohol is a depressant and that’s why your feeling the way you are feeling, have you a plan in place to stay sober maybe try a meeting, plenty of reading around the forum, podcasts, other literature, getting more exercise, just keeping yourself busy but don’t get to tired or hungry for that tend to increase the cravings, hope this helps
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Welcome to the forum Taylor! Glad u found us 
Welcome. Glad you found us. It sucks to feel you have gone “backwards”, but actually you are just living and learning. It took me so long to realise I just can’t drink like a normie. Decades. Sounds like it might have sunk in for you now. So start being sober one day at a time, and keep us posted. 
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