Checking in when I can!

Emotional Support
1

I’m starting a new thread. My old one has some painful moments from my past in it. While I want it to be there so I can look back, checking in there has become somewhat painful because I’m a completely different person than I was when I first posted.

I want to check in more. I’ve tended to check in only when I’m struggling. I want to try and check in when positive things happen too. Of course it’s only natural to check in more when you’re struggling, but I want this to be a little more representative of my life.

With that being said, here’s the deal. I usually will be looking for advice and emotional support. But if I don’t need advice, I will try to say so.

Also, anyone is welcome to chat on here if you’d like. Just please remain kind to others on here and respect everyone’s experiences. Thanks!

12 Likes
2

I have the opposite problem to you I mainly check in when things are going well and not when I am struggling and I try but I find it very hard to communicate when I’m struggling
So let’s the two of us try doing abit of the opposite too

8 Likes
3

My parents were telling me how to act. I am proud that I was patient and simply asked polite questions to understand why they cared so much. They stuck to what they were saying, but admitted that they didn’t know why they were thinking that, so said we’ll discuss it later.

I’m really proud of how I handled this, and I’m glad my parents reacted well to my questions. I know that not every conversation will go this well, but I’m glad that this one did!

3 Likes
4

Oh that’s interesting! That makes sense though. Communicating while experiencing strong emotions is definitely really hard.

I actually used to have that problem too, but now that I’m used to having a place to put my feelings out, I tend to focus on the feelings that seem “more important”. But I’m learning that being happy is just as important to recognize as when I’m sad.

I hope that we can both do better in our goals!

1 Like
5

Parents can be hard work sometimes but they are only saying and doing things usually because they love you , we don’t always get it right but we do try , I have a 10 year old daughter

1 Like
6

I’m trying but I spent 24 years drinking my problems away and I’m only learning now to talk about them

1 Like
7

Definitely true. I know that they want the best for me. I also know myself better than they do, so I’m trying to learn how to politely communicate my needs to them. It’s good to hear the perspective of a parent!

That’s valid. It takes time. Keep working on it at your own pace💜

1 Like
8

Well we don’t get trained for it :rofl::rofl: but I also think :thinking: it depends on how many children you have for example the first one you are learning as you go along, I was the oldest in my family so I know how that feels

9

Haha yeah, I was the first pancake😆 I actually only have one sibling and I think he’s getting better parenting now than I did. Which is good.

10

Lmao :laughing: :laughing:

1 Like
11

There was 5 of us in my family, my brother was the youngest he was spoiled by that time

1 Like
12

Welp. Didn’t think I’d have an issue so soon😬
But that’s okay. It’s what’s going on. It’s not a huge problem, but I just want to talk through it for a minute in case it gets bigger. I’m giving some background, so this is pretty long. What happened recently is towards the end.

My aunt has bipolar. She had a relapse(not sure what the right term is) a couple years ago. During it, she wasn’t able to take care of herself and was in some danger from some of her actions. She was hospitalized against her will, and said some really hurtful things to my mother and other family members. She also left me really weird voicemails and messages. It was really disconcerting, and for a while I was very worried about her showing up at our home. This is all just to say that it was a really rough time, and not something that can be forgotten quickly. She’s been getting ongoing help since then.

At the last family gathering, she insinuated that no one cared about her. As someone who has struggled with depression, I recognized this as her wanting someone to give her the opportunity to wallow.

Anyways, today she texted me, my brother, my mother, and my uncle. Not my dad or my grandmother. Here’s that text chain:

Aunt: Thinking of you guys. Praying for your well-being. (Fine, a little weird and out of the blue, but fine. It did make me wonder if she might be going through a depressive episode or something)
My mother: that sounds serious😜 we’re all good! You?
Aunt (a few minutes ago): I talk to all of you so seldom I hardly know what’s going on, so I pray.

I’m trying to figure out why this type of thing hurts me. Here’s what I’ve learned:

This again made me think that she was wallowing and looking for us to enable that. It also feels very invalidating, because it feels like she’s upset that we are guarded from her. But we are guarded because of her past actions.

It also hurts me because it reminds me of my past actions that I’m really ashamed of. I used to say things like that because I was really lonely and struggling. But I was manipulating people I cared about and hurting them and myself. So seeing her use these tactics reminds me of my past and I don’t usually want to be reminded of that.

I could have gotten the intention of her text all wrong, but it is still stressing me out. I hope this doesn’t go any further. I just wanted to address it so it isn’t stuck in my head and I can hopefully let go a bit.

I’ve overall had good day and this blemish doesn’t change that. It’s just some added texture. I hope anyone reading this is also having a lovely day!

Update: This didn’t get worse. Was still weird, but that’s okay!

1 Like
13

I’m seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow. Saw therapist yesterday. I’m glad to have the extra support right now. This past week has been rough. I’m going to try and actually be up front with him. I want to explain that I’ve been really depressed and anxious, and that I’ve been talking about my childhood in therapy and realizing I can’t rely emotionally on my parents.

Checking in with him is always a nice way to look at the past month or two as a whole and think about what I want for the next month. So I’m feeling hopeful that it will be a positive experience tomorrow!

1 Like
14

I didn’t talk about my family that much. Just talked about anxiety, mentioned being home is really hard and making me depressed, and discussed the summer and plans and stuff. But that’s okay. I’m reducing my meds to see if they’ve been helping. And if not, I’ll switch meds. If they were helping, I’ll just be adding a medication. All in all a good check in!

1 Like
15

I’m back! Had my first day back to work yesterday, which was nice! Working again today with a new person. Which I’m a bit nervous for, but I’m also hopeful.
My summer class started, and I’m on track so far. It’s not super hard, but it’s kind of interesting and good stuff to know. It’s an accounting class, so it should be useful.
Overall, having a good week!

2 Likes
16

Happy to things are going well with you :+1:

1 Like
17

Thanks💜 How are you doing?

1 Like
18

I’m doing well this week thanks for asking just got home from my AA meeting

1 Like
19

Oh that’s awesome!! Have meetings been helpful?

1 Like
20

So an old issue is coming up. I have no appetite. I normally don’t get hungry very often. When I was at school, I had a routine of what I would eat and when. But now that I’m back at home, what food we have varies so much that I can’t have a routine. This means that it’s really hard for me to remember to eat or to find things to eat. I also have some stomach problems that if I eat certain foods or too much, I can get really nauseous and have diarrhea and stuff.

Example: What I ate today was an egg sandwich, some ice cream, and two cookies. I’ve literally lost like 5 pounds in under a week.

It’s just a little frustrating. I’m feeling out of control of my environment. I’m an extremely picky eater, and the changes in available food from day to day is really difficult for me. I’m not sure how to make myself eat. I’ve started feeling nauseous thinking of certain foods. I’m feeling really bad because I know I need to eat but it’s really hard, especially when I’m busy like at work.

I’m going to try preparing food ahead of time, eating before work, and watching videos while eating to help distract me(especially with foods that are hard for me).

1 Like