So with Christmas and New year on the horizon, it’s got me thinking it’s going to be a particularly tough time with regards to drinking… Or not drinking should I say.
What will or what have people done before in order to keep on the straight and narrow whilst your family members / friends are smashing them back.
I can avoid going to the pub or avoid going to watch football but I can’t avoid Christmas lol.
I know the simple answer is just don’t drink and have a great time but if it was that simple we wouldn’t be on this app would we…
Idk I geuss I’ll figure that out when the day comes. It will be my first christman and new year sober too. But I’m not gonna think about it untill it comes, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Just remember you don’t have to do a damn thing, do w.e you need to keep your sobriety safe
Hi Stevie. For my first sober Xmas last year, I was still pretty new so sobriety so extra stoked to experience it sober. Christmas was awesome. I took everything in and realised at the end of it all that I need more time away from my family, that I partly drank so hardcore cos our family dynamic is just fucking awful, with most but not all family members I should add. So while I had thoughts of drink, my boyfriend and sister knew and were aware, and it wasn’t a temptation.
For new years I warmly recommend PLANNING for your sober night! Sobriety first! We would normally see where the wind would blow us and end up at random parties or clubs, instead we planned the weekend away with one other friend who knew I as was sober and didn’t mean to drink. They drank, I didn’t, it was good. My main advice is play it through in your head: what difficulties do you forsee and what can you do far in advance to eliminate them or prepare for them. Fail to plan, plan to fail. And enjoy yourself!
Why not?
I was 8 weeks sober my first Christmas and we did nothing. Stayed at home, didn’t go to any family get togethers.
Or new year.
Depends on how important your sobriety is to you to be honest mate.
The reason why I’d like to keep it as ‘normal’ as possible is because I have a young family.
For us Christmas time is about social gatherings… I would feel wrong to coup everyone up at home because I can’t be trusted to behave myself. Bit of a catch 22 situation…
I want them to experience the vibes of a family Christmas time but I know that drink will be part of that. I have never drank irresponsibly in front of my kids but I think that having the classic ‘few’ over Christmas will eventually lead me back many steps
Are you commited to your sobriety? It sounds a bit like you’re trying to just not have too many, when it should probably be none at all, since you’re here and have a sober date.
If you want to go to your family things which I totally get: tell them you’re an alcoholic/have a drinking problem and gotten sober and will not drink. Tell them way in advance so they’re aware of it. It’ll help keep you accountable.
For me if your actively thinking of Christmas as a piss up event then how much have you worked on your sobriety??
I’m thinking of things I will experience and having those memories shine of being sober not on how will I avoid the acohol at the table… Yes I’m an addict but I believe in myself that I don’t need to pick up to celebrate the event… I need my personality to mother fucking shine that I care on the people around me to not be a tool!
Really enjoyed reading this and thank you because I think it has woken me up to a few facts… or at least made me ponder them a lot.
You’re right it is what’s been ingrained into me from a young age, watching my parents / family members raising a glass at every given opportunity… birthdays, Christmas, weddings… you name it.
It’s the social expectation that I now need to either tackle or indeed avoid. Cheers man
I guess the answer to your question about the integrity of my sobriety is that I am on my own personal journey with it, I’ve had many ups and downs as I’m sure we all have… asking this question was based on these ups and downs
Both.
Avoid it until you are able to realise that it’s a choice that you are free to make.
No one has right to question your choice.
At first though, confidence can be low. So best to avoid.
Once you have some time and feel confident, you can go and you will find it easy. This will build even more confidence.
It’s pretty easy to skip family Christmas when I wasn’t invited. My holidays are a good vision of a future for any alcoholic or addict who isn’t dedicated to sobriety. Once I got sober it was 18 months almost before I was invited for any holiday/birthday/wedding/etc.
Well, in the beginning I skipped anything that had alcohol…guess what…941 days later…this thread is the only mention of it. My world didnt end, and no one else’s ended. However, I am sober. For me, my sobriety was just that important.
Wake up early Christmas Day.
Go to the bathroom for a good poop. Bring a book.
Close the door and lock it.
Unlock door and step out on 2 January.
Problem solved. You made it.
You likely lost weight too. How many others will be able to say the same over Xmas/New Year?
Or, y’know… follow some other great advice offered so far.
Options. Always options
Would it? If alcohol is a problem for you, I would have thought it would feel more wrong to drag everyone along to the start of a relapse cycle and have them deal with the fallout of wherever that leads!
If it is social family gatherings, then go early, leave early. Spend time with the kids, have fun and be silly. Be the designated driver. Or drop the family off and make your excuses if you can’t trust yourself.
Try not to get too hung up on it, see how you feel at the time.
And enjoy yourself! 
