I have a condition called Ankylosing Spondylitis and it causes me chronic pain. I exercise almost daily to keep my body moving and hopefully stall my body giving up on me.
I was driving home today from the gym (in pain) and went past the plethora of pubs in my town all with people outside them drinking/smoking and looking immensely happy. For a second I wanted that, I wondered why I couldn’t have that release or that slice of joy.
Sadly for me that isn’t an option as there is no ‘off switch” and it will only end in disaster. I occasionally feel like I’m missing out on a part of life but I have to accept that is something I can not have. Plus if we really look at it what is it we are missing out on? The joy is only false and fleeting.
I was able to carry on driving and come to my home that we own and relax on the sofa. The desire to use wasn’t there with any force, was more of a lament for something I can never have again as I know where it leads.
The pain doesn’t help but it’s part of me and something I am learning to live with. Would be nice to find a balance of exercise and rest that works though!
Stay safe everyone.