Hey there, I’m sorry that you’re struggling. So, talk to us…in these times when you have decided to get sober: what are you doing to stay sober? Once you lay out what you’ve been doing, maybe we can help suggest another path forward❤️
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Well idk I’m so busy with my kids and work all I can do really is jus stay sober everyday 
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Staying sober every day is something that doesn’t just happen. You have to put in the work every single day. You’ve been given a plethora of really good suggestions on this thread. Which ones are you willing to actually follow through with?
Also, we all understand that life exists, but if you are not able to put your recovery first you will surely lose all of those things you are prioritizing.
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A lot of us said that. I get it. The first step, stay sober today. Second step: get active here. Being active here will open up a whole new viewpoint…a sober viewpoint.
Its a place to turn when the day is crap, its a place to turn when you need to vent. In short, we are here to help.
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@Butterflymoonwoman WELL said. Just from your post, I can see you “get” the work it takes to stay sober. That afternoon urge is no joke. I just started chairing a meeting. My home group meets every day of the week. I chair once a week at 5:30 and our meeting is called the Happy Hour group. Reaching out to the sick and suffering is what keeps me sober. I attend 3 meetings a week plus Zoom meetings.
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You’re not alone - I struggled with quitting for a long time. I’d quit for a few days at a time. Sometimes, I would make it a week or two. One time I got really serious and relied on will power alone; I made it 2 months. What I was doing just wasn’t working, it was time to do something different.
So, what I did was I started to look at alcohol through a different lens. I started to see how I was using it and what the real outcome was because of it.
By seeing how I was using alcohol to “manage” my life, I came to the conclusion that I was not able to manage my life at all. I began to make small changes. I came to this forum everyday; I’d come here when I woke up, I’d come here before bed. I shared my wins, my losses, my pains and my frustrations. I found that I was not alone, there were many people just like you and me trying to find our way. We helped one another, created bonds and friendships.
There’s no difference between you and everyone else, we’re all trying to be sober, one day at a time.
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Welcome, we’re all in this together. Everyone here legitimately cares about you and your success.
Relapse is an unfortunate part of the process, we’ve all done it. If you relapsed yesterday, start again today. Don’t think of a slip up as failure, rather another obstacle you have overcome through this journey.
This is not an easy process, it’s called a habit for a reason. You have our support and we’re always here. In the meantime, work on a support system (AA, NA, church, gym, anything). I have faith in you.
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Hi there, Angela,
I am moved to tell you that words matter! Labelling yourself as a chronic relapser is a classic self-fulfilling prophecy.
You are a chronic relapser because you call yourself one and you believe it. I feel so strongly about this that I introduce myself as a recovered alcoholic. I am recovered, I have recovered, I will remain recovered.
For 18 years, I wandered the wilderness in and out of AA and rehab and jail. And truthfully, at the end of the day, I did not want to get sober. I wanted to escape the consequences of my drinking. I wanted to drink and get away with it. And even though I went to AA and worked some steps with some sponsors, I wanted to drink more than I wanted to stop. I wasn’t done yet. And when I was done, when I committed to staying sober until I could put a sober head on my pillow at night, then nothing could stop me from finding the help I needed and using it.
The only reason I “relapsed” was my desire to drink. I proved that through my actions, by returning time after time after bloody time to drinking. In 60 days, I will have 18 years of walking the road to happiness. The only reason I have that time is my desire to stay sober, borne out by my actions to seek and accept help.
Blessings on your house 
. May you find the spiritual power you need to get back to the person you are supposed to be.
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Way to go!! Sounds like ur really doing the work and being of service to others 
thats the way to do it!!
Wow there is sooo much truth to what u said! Thats real talk right there! Thank u for sharing this. Labels really do matter!! Words do matter!
Ty very much 
yet everyone keeps saying I don’t want to be sober? Who doesn’t want to be sober! I love being sober nd I absolutely hate getting high
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Hey there…thanks for answering back! With a busy schedule, it sounds like maybe online meetings would be a great option. I know that they are happening virtually every hour of every day. For me, being on this site, reading, posting and gathering tools was pivotal in the beginning. I deleted any other distraction on my phone (Insta, Facebook, games etc) and only used this app.
I think the idea is that wanting something and WANTING something are very different ideas. I want a lot of things…I want to lose 20lbs., I want to learn Spanish, I want to make more money, I want a protein bar bc I forgot mine at home. We humans “want” freely and without hesitation.
WANTING something, means that you are actually willing to take the steps possible to make it happen. If I WANT to lose 20lbs. I will go to the gym and probably change my eating habits. THEN…if that is not getting me where I need to go I might download an app that helps me with food journaling and exercise regimines.if THAT doesn’t work, I may possibly read literature on why I overeat, see a dietician, start seeking out a food therapist.
When we WANT something, we are willing to actually put the work in to figure out what it takes to get there, and when one way isn’t working, we will research and find another.
So if you WANT to get sober and what you’re doing hasnt been working, what are you willing to do to shift your approach? I hope you’re having a good and sober day.
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It’s very hard I keep trying, and yes we get to around day 3 and I end up reseting, I shall try again until I beat it, I will not give up 
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Well I try and do whatever I can to stay sober?
Awesome, that’s a great first step. It sounds like a shift needs to take place to make it really stick if relapse keeps happening. Can you add an online meeting once the kids go to sleep? Carve out 15minutes twice a day to read threads on here that pertain to your struggle? We never know which key will unlock our sobriety until we start trying out different keys!
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Hey it really sounds like you don’t know where to start. I posted a list of resources above, start there. Pick a few, stick with them, put in the work. Go to the list, choose, let us know here what you’ll do. Meetings, some books, a podcast, choose a mix.
Ppl are not saying you don’t want to be sober, they say that you want to still drink more than you want to be sober. That’s what relapsing is, you decide to give in and drink/use over staying sober.
You keep asking the community to validate your decisions as not that, but incomprehensible riddles. Well, in a place full of recovering addicts and alkies who all had to go through the important step to take responsibility for our actions, i.e. our addiction and our recovery, that won’t work.
It’s you who keeps on going to the drink, therefore part of you makes that decision and wants to stay drunk. When I was still drinking despite knowing I should not, I was making that same decision. If it was purely detestable to you, as you say, or me, neither of us would be here.
It is also your personal journey and responsibility to figure out what you’re drinking at. I.e. what the illusion is here that alcohol is helping you with/changing for you/making easier or more bearable. No one can tell you that. That’ll be your work to engage with yourself and get to know yourself in that way, so you can grow out of it.
It’s not a miracle to get sober, albeit it can feel like one if you’re suffering bad enough in addiction and then you’re suffering less and begin to feel joy and connection again.
But it’s not a miracle, it’s work and dedication.
Neither is relapse or addiction a miracle. It’s making the same bad choice over and over again and believing your own bs.
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Sending hugs. You’ve been on a very powerful path yourself recently, ma’am. Pat yourself on the back for how far you’ve come today. 
Drunk we wouldn’t be where we are now, no where near.
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Thank you 
It’s fact that the ups and downs of life are far better manageable when we are sober and actively caring for and working on ourselfs and our recovery. Tried both, relapse and active recovery. I definitely prefer active recovery allthough it’s work, awareness, kindness and patience. There are no fucking shortcuts, I would have found them the impatient person I am. A solid ODAAT has to do the trick.
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Another thread I recommend for concrete steps taken to sobriety is this one. These kinds of actions help reinforce the lifestyle of recovery.
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