Idk y… I’ll never understand y tf I am a CHRONIC RELAPSER 
y is it so fkn easy for most to jus fkn stop nd never pick up again… Yet I fkn KNOW all this BULLSHIT nd consequences… YET here AGAIN I’ll never fkn get it!! 
SMFH newayz… Yet again… Here tf I am on day 1:roll_eyes:
FK TUIS LIFE MAN… FR THO… ILL B SOO FKN GLAD WHEN THIS SORRY ASS LIFE OF MINE US FKN OVER ND THIS FIGHT IS DONE!
6 Likes
I don’t think sobriety is easy for any of us. It’s hard work. What are you willing to do to stay sober?
12 Likes
You have to be willing to do anything. Rehab, intensive outpatient program? How about 90 meetings in 90 days? Getting and staying sober is not easy at all. If it were, everyone would be doing it. I found I have to work on recovery every single day. If I’m not working on my recovery, I’m working on a relapse. Looking over your forum stats, I see you’ve been here almost a year but only visited 37 days with 3 hours read time. People on this forum with long term sobriety are here everyday.
17 Likes
Im sorry ur struggling girl 
i get it tho. I too was a chronic relpaser for years. I spent 22 years trying to “get” this recovery thing and felt sooo hopeless in ever thinking ill be able to have a clean and and sober life. Things are different now tho.
What sorts of things have u tried to get/stay clean so far in ur journey? Have u tried treatment centers or 12 step meetings (in person or online)? Deleted numbers that werent good for u recovery? Can u identify what helps and what doesnt?
I found the hardest part for chronic relpasing was that at around day 3, my mind would forget how bad it was. Id forget and think i had some control over my DOC. That it will be different this time. That i could control it. Even tho deep down inside i knew none of this way true. I knew the consequences and the grief that my DOC gave me but my addictive mind chose to ignore that. Basically what i had to do, was to write out on paper my reasons for why i wanted to quit. And then read this list whenever i craved to used/drink. I needed to remind myself of why i quit and the consequences of what will happen if i use. I came on here first before i picked up and asked for help. I used distraction and self care to get me thru the hard times. Remember that cravings dont last forever. Take it 10 min at a time, or even 1 min at a time until u get thru that craving 
12 Likes
Life, let alone sobriety isn’t easy for anybody. I tried to quit a hundred times before this time. Once you realise your special just like everyone else it helps. It’s hard work but it’s worth it most of the time (everyone has bad days). Once you find the sobriety path that works the best for you stay on it and put in the work. Best wishes to you
8 Likes
So what have you been doing to maintain your sobriety?
For me, it went far past “just not drinking”
7 Likes
Maybe start by being active here.
I lived on here when i started the path…and I still come here every day. With the exception of about a month and a half…i have been here for 1780 days sobers.
14 Likes
At this point… Anything
2 Likes
Do you really want to be sober? It’s a fair question to ask yourself. If so what are you willing to do to support your sobriety?
A lot of people desire the idea of sobriety or just want an easy eay out of the negative consequences that addiction has caused for them.
8 Likes
This is probably THE best… Most helpful comment anyone has ever left me… I am going to screenshot this and remember what you’ve said are u by chance a sponsor? I need one badly
3 Likes
Yea I’m not the best at communicating
1 Like
What have you tried to do to gain sobriety apart from just not drinking? Cos that’s really not going to be enough.
Here are a lot of resources that others have used: Resources for our recovery
Pick a few. Follow through. Give it your best.
If nothing changes, nothing changes. That means that you have to start making changes.
5 Likes
THANKS so much
1 Like
Im really glad it helped Definitly keep coming back to this forum and being active on here. It really does help!!!
But as for being a sponsor… i honestly dont know if i have it in me to sponsor just, just yet. Even though I have done the steps many years ago, i ended up going back out after that and now could honestly really be due to do another set of steps. I am almost at a year clean but still have a lot of work to do the best thing i can suggest tho is 12 step meetings in ur area where u can find a woman that is close by and has the time and done the work to be where they are in their recovery. Someone that can take u thru the steps etc if thats what ur looking for. Other than that we are all here to help on this forum 
4 Likes
I surely suffered trying to ‘figure sobriety out’ for decades. I was on the hamster wheel of quit and start over and and over, never being able to find ‘the key’. I feel like now, all those starts and stops helped me gain a little strength, all those sobriety and quit lit books I read increased my knowledge a bit, all the websites and forums and apps added to my resources, and yes, writing out and reading ‘my list’ every damn time I thought ‘maybe just one, I am so stressed…’ It all added up I think. Finding what worked, what really worked for me. Reading what worked for others. Being super engaged on forums and websites (for others, for you, it may be meetings). Getting outside for a walk, bike or run. Doing yoga, listening to meditations, journaling constantly, eating sweets, putting myself to bed early, finding new hobbies. We do what we do.
No, it wasn’t easy or fast. It was a long ass freaking slog with stops and starts for years and years. Never give up, never surrender. 
13 Likes
Let us know what you’ve tried in the past, maybe what your DOC is, and there are many who might be able to add some more specific resources based on what you are dealing with. So glad you are here.
4 Likes
OMG….anyone who actually finds it easy to stop and never pick up again we’re never addicted. We’ve all struggled. Very few people get it the first try (though it does happen). I relapsed countless times for 2 years but I can proudly say I’m now 4 years sober. It is possible.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
11 Likes
And while this question seems harsh it IS a valid question. Because I can honestly say that the two years that I kept relapsing it was because I didn’t really want it. I was holding onto the romantic ideas of drinking….enjoying life, laughing with friends, being social, being cool. It was only when I finally admitted to myself that none of that was true and that falling asleep on the couch at 7pm while watching tv then waking up at 2 am cursing myself for doing it again, was the least romantic thing in the world. Alcohol was poison and it was going to kill me, physically and emotionally. Only when I realized that did I finally WANT to be sober.
9 Likes
Thank you I appreciate it
2 Likes
Hey, i feel ya…neither was I. It was one of the things i had to learn to get sober. This is a great place to practice
3 Likes