He has that “funny” thing that he will come and make shadow boxing 1cm of my face. He knows I hate it, its not funny for me, and I don’t think it’s a good example for our boys. And when I tell him to stop (he never stops immediately) I am the stupid one, boring, no fun and I should just shut the fuck up. He is putting some strength in it so if I make a wrong move he could really break my nose or give me black eye. But it’s not even the point. The point it I find it disrespectful. Primitive.
Fucking hell how stupid it is to be with a person who most of time you barely like.
I was just thinking about this the other day and wondering how it’s affected my daughter. Her father treated me like this(and much worse when he drank). Of course I put up with it for 6 years bc we were both blackout drunks, but after she was born, I put my foot down and said it had to stop. It worked for the most part, but after his 3rd major drunken slip up(which were the # of chances I gave him), I told him that was it bc I didn’t want her to grow up thinking it was acceptable to be treated that way by men. Trying to end the cycle of abuse.
Of course my next relationship was even worse on an emotional level, but that’s where I really learned to stick up for myself. You can too. What’s he gonna do? Get mad? So what! Don’t let that bother you. The only person he should be mad at is himself for thinking it’s acceptable to treat women that way and teaching his sons the same. You’re a strong woman Mischa. Get the respect you deserve
This is abuse, plain and simple. Do NOT put up with it or indeed any other threatening behaviour. He clearly is a tiny man when he needs to resort to threatening with physical violence, you and your kids deserve much better.
If you need tips on how to get support from local authorities to stop this once and for all, please let me know and I will ask my sister (who works in local government in NL).
I am very sorry you have to go through this, men really should know and do better.
I don’t want to justify his behaviour but I think I should explain - he is not doing it to threaten me. He is actually doing this when he has good mood and he thinks it’s funny… The thing is I don’t but he won’t stop doing this. Something like when someone forcedly tickle you.
But indeed, he is a dick.
Thank you guys for your support! You are good people and I’m so happy I have you in my corner💙
Aw Mischa… that sucks. It’s terrifying how similar your husband’s behaviour is to my dad’s. Even down to the same stupid ‘jokes’. If I didn’t know any better I’d ask if the two are related.
But in all seriousness, you’re such a strong woman and you’re doing so well staying sober while living through this. It can’t be easy for you. Sending you virtual hugs.
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