So as i went over in my previous post ive lost a friend recently and its been hard. We met under awful circumstances and i had hoped wed both recover from it. Unfortunately she didnt.
Ive decided the best thing i can do now is to live as good a life i can for as long as possible. Because they never got that chance, and because i deserve good things too. I dont fully believe all that yet but i want to. Im gonna work towards creating a good life for myself, for my sake. It was by random chance i lived and they didnt, so its nothing for me to feel guilty about. All i can do now is move forward.
That sounds sensible. We have things we can control - our choices - and it’s really through those that we honour the people we love (ourselves, and others).
I’m sorry for the heart ache. I’m sorry she killed herself. I’m really proud of you for staying sober through all of this. It is a way to honor her. Yes by taking care of yourself. And for living. It was something she couldn’t do. You can and you are. You said that you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I understand that she really was the only one that you could talk to. I’m glad that you have your therapist and I’m also glad that you have this site. Think you may also have said that you were in a survivors group. Take care of yourself, stay sober, keep posting.