Today has been one of those days…
Where I could gladly reach for the bottle, or smoke the green or even knock back some pills…
Triggers where ever I went,
Tests of my patience…
0 - 60 in less than a minute, I don’t know how the police didn’t put me in the back of the van and take me to the cells… Oh yeah confrontation has never been a manageable thing for me… Its like verbal shit and aggression comes out, even when I’m shaking all over and vomit after!
I really did think at one point i need something to get me off the celing
How do you deal with things that get too much.
And a hug wouldn’t go a miss… Sad and alone are crap!
Where I live… I have a not so nice neighbour…
She and her partner were up all night, high as anything… I knocked on and 5 am this morning and asked them politely if they minded turning the noise down and it had set of my dog… Guy staggers in front and grips my hoodie and tells me to piss off… I got loud and just flipped, the police were called… And at this point I’m wanting to head butt the female. Soo copper has my arm… I don’t know if my patience is worn out from trying so hard to be clean.
That would try anyone’s patience. What a nightmare. You did the right thing by asking them to quieten down. Sounds like they need to find some consideration
Glad it’s all calmed down now.
I’m sorry today’s been so shitty for you. Sending big hugs. It sounds like you’re getting through it, which is a huge win. The good days sober are what we are looking for, and when these crap days happen it can knock us on our asses, or make us “hit the ceiling” as you so aptly put it, for real. I know I have been getting super irritable and have lashed out plenty. I try to do walk away, some breathing exercises, say a mantra to derail whatever narrative I’ve got going in my head and visualize what I’m trying to really achieve in that moment. Good luck, I know it can be so hard. Hang in there. Edit: just read what happened and it sounds like the worst. Put his hands on you, oh hell no! Hope it gets better.
from me. X
