Thank you Jaz, today could have also been a move to please my mother as shes still reeling from the drunken stupor, sounds harsh of me but i wouldnt put it past him. Il take it for what it was, at the end of the day i got what i wanted which was no awkwardness for my lovely daughter and neices…they dont need to know our bs they just need to be kids. My daughter and neice did amazing in their swimming lessons today im feeling so very proud of them…they are whats important to me and what makes me happy 
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That had croased my mind too…who knows what the future will bring. Regardless- you are stronger and more in control of your emotions now
So glad the girls did so well in lessons today- so right— they are whats important.
You are doing so great love - im loving getting to know you and so many others here…loads of love 
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Your a wonderful person Jasmine, ive noticed how much you give on this site not just to me but to so many others, uve helped me and others so much, i appreciate you, love to you
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I think this too. Whenever someone is in need, Jaz is there. She gives back a lot. She’s our resident angel
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She is but you are the same Binx, you both bring so much to this site and help so many people xx
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@Starlight14
@Binx
Awe thanks ladies! I appreciate you and ive seen all that you are doing here as well. This is a group effort and we are all doing our part. I know ive learned and been helped by so much from you as well.
Love you both and knowing we are in this together helps keep me stay motivated
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Me too, this is my sober family
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Can I be your bratty sister? 
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you can be my sister anytime my dear but i have enough brats 
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So my brother has gone off the rails even more now…seems like the second im back in the fold slightly he starts kicking up…i dont know if this is just coincidence or not…i feel really bad for my mother as its mostly directed at her…its no secret that shes not the easiest person to get along with…when she gets upset she gets angry and lashes out…weve had a very difficult relationship and the whole time i was drinking she was very tough love old school with me it did make me worse at the time but now im sober i can see it was her way of dealing with her upset at the state i was in and shes admitted she didnt actually know what to do, i get that and ive apologised to her since. My brother and his partner both work full time, i work part time and my mother is retired now…my mother helps us all out with our kids…she only has mine a couple of nights in a fortnight when i have to work but she has my brothers 2 girls alot…she has the youngest (4 years) every wednesday all day as she is in nursery the rest of the time and the oldest 2-3 nights a week after school as my brother lives there…however mostly when he gets home from work he sits in his room and my mother looks after his daughter mainly…badcally she does alot for him…last week my mother and i took both his oldest and my daughter to swimming lessons 4 days out of the week on a crash course organised for the school holidays, the little one couldnt come because shes there were no places left for the youngest ones but my mum said as soon as a place came for her we would take her too, i should add also my mother has paid for these for all of us which ive thanked her for. My mother makes a point of treating all of the girls the same. However my brother at the weekend proceded to fall out with both my mother and his dad accusing them of leaving the little one out…no mention of everything they already do for them all the time, said hes completely done with them…i really dont get it but i do suspect drinking is involved…i just hope this is not do with me being around more…
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You aren’t doing anything to cause him to drink or act like a fool. He’s a big boy. That’s hard to see, friend, sorry about your challenges there.
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Kelly - i really don’t see how you being around could cause him to act out like this – he is just trying to find things to be upset about and create tension imo. Your mother is going out of her way to help out with the girls and then pay for lessons and take them to those lessons on top of god only knows what else…he is living with her and needs to learn how to be grateful.
It very possibly could be that either he is drinking more or was and at the anger lash out stage if he is trying to quit…???
I do hope that your mom sets his ass straight - not allow him to talk to / treat her that way
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he is avoiding you. You have zero control in the relationship because of that. He needs to come to you at this point. Let it go. You did your part. He has the ball. If he wants to help heal the rift between you two he will do it. But he will do it in n his own time. Ps. My older brother and I broke up years ago. We haven’t seen or spoke to each other in years. The pain never really goes away but what can be done about it? Sobriety for both parties should help heal the wound. Sounds like it needs to be a two way street. Time is in your side. You’ve done your part. You stepped up and made a change. Let him come to you when he is ready.
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People treat us how they feel about us. And thats a hard one for me sometimes because I have had some people who were important to me treat me like I’m not. I’ve learned my place with people 95% of the time the hard way. Its been very humbling. I owe no one. Anything. God has taught me only to lean on my faith, not shoulders, my faith will always be there. Thats been my lesson in life. Stay strong in your sobriety, with a clear head, comes clear answers.
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Thanks guys, i guess its still partly my feeling guilty for how i was when i was drinking but i feel like my brother is so full of jealousy and contempt for me that i think the night we fell out was just the excuse he wanted to push me away and hurt me, we had our spats over the years but apart from the night i fell out with him id been a good sister to him, hes always complained that my mother loved me and my older brother more than him and it just isnt the case…he was treat differently to us but in a good way…if anyone was going to be feeling hard done by it would have been us but we dont yet he is the jealous one…he does it with our kids now too where he constantly pokes at my mother saying she favours my daughter when she doesnt…i dont get it its just he seems to hate me being around…i guess theres nothing i can do about that im not responsible for how he acts.
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Your brother needs recovery. He’s pretty sick. I hope he gets help down the road when ready. He feels threatened by your sobriety and subsequent good emotional/mental/physical health. I’m so in awe of your strength.
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Thank you Lee that really means alot.
I agree i think he needs recovery but in all honesty i dont think he will ever admit he has a problem.
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Probably not. We are the luckiest!
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I really do not think you need to hold onto the guilt from your drinking days. You have come so far since then and have apologized numerous of times and made amends with those willing to accept your apologies.
I do agree with @Leehawk that your brother needs recovery and possibly needs to see a therapist to deal with his anger / jealousy for starters – unfortunately, this will probably not happen.
Glad that you have found an a emotional distance to this situation so not to get yourself hurt but hopfully your mom can do the same thing.
Much love my friend
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