Somebody was asking for drunk injury stories the other day and I shared my tale of me jumping on a jelly fish.
Tonight, for no reason whatsoever, I had a crazy flashback…
It was back in my drinking days and I’d gone to a nice country pub called the Three Magpies. I was 41 so fairly civilised, I’d gone out with my wife and 3 friends. I had one too many pints of Bishops Finger (strong cask ale) and fast forward 2 hours and I’m heading up a conga line all through the pub and car park and back again. I tripped and fell into a table of food. On the way I home I threw up in the car, in my hands that I cupped like a bowl. Cringe.
Let’s share the cringe, who’s next…?
I once threw up on my friends birthday cake.
I also threw up in a different friends sink full of dishes.
When I was 16 I chugged down some vodka, blacked out, threw up on myself, yelled at the family that threw the party. Then went home, argued with my mother, she called the cops and I was taken to jail overnight.
I also drank enough to sing ‘Torn’ by Natalie Imbrugula during karaoke in a pub… incredibly embarrassing.
I was arrested for a DWI after picking up McDonald’s, and the cops just laughed at me. Because of that DWI I wasn’t able to see my grandfather before he passed away.
I have more, but I don’t have all night lol
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I think it’s good to remind ourselves of these things every now and again. I’m over 3 months now without a drink, and sometimes I think I can have one, because I’m ‘mended’ but I just know i can’t. I would long for a cure, and now I have one - it’s called abstinence- I just remind myself how desperate I was to become a non drinker. And now I have it. No regrets.
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Since i see a vomit theme. My highlights for vomit are puking on my wife in bed, in a freinds car and not being able to clean it and over a friend’s white carpet and myself after a diner party, there was only 4 of us. And thats a quick few from the vomit category😉
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I haven’t injured myself too badly. I have gotten bumps, bruises, and scrapes… even worse I broke our 55" LCD TV by walking into it drunk, lost my wedding ring set while I was drunk, broke a shelf while i was drunk and countless times of yelling at my poor husband. I haven’t had an episode like that in over 6 months but I have drank a few times; most recently after my longest stretch of 34 days. Going to be working on impulse drinking as that seems to be the theme of my last mishaps.
One time I got so drunk that I took a flaming shot, burnt part of my eyebrow off, only to continue drinking… Went to the bar. Got kicked out because of me. I apparently yelled at the bouncer (while being carried out) that I WASN’T THAT drunk. They had to carry me seven blocks uphill in Seattle, with cars and passerbys laughing and mocking us.Then as my friends were driving me home, I was like blacked out this whole time mind you, and I started blowing snot rockets all over their car, myself, and vomiting out the side of the window. And all in their car. And then when we got home I started crying, “Just drive, just go, just get us home” while they repeatedly tried to tell me that we were already there.
Fun times. Lol
“I’m not that drunk” yes, I think I’ve used those words myself!!
Ooo I got one.I was invited to a coworkers party who I thought was sweet she was in college and had alot of her college friends over we all got along great I remember being drunk and vaguely remember arguing with someone…most of my memories consist of someone telling me to calm down smh.
Well I got another flashback of the middle of the night peeing in my friends closet thinking it was the bathroom. Smh
She was so disappointed, we never hung out again.
Looking back I still dont see how anyone who has ever drank with me could ever have the audacity to offer me a drink or invite me out for a drink when Ive told them I dont want to anymore.Maybe because its so harshly advertised? Maybe because it seems like the normal thing to do and they dont want to feel lame so they ignore my past anyway?
I dont know. That doesnt seem like genuine friendship.
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How many days are you on now?
I was so pissed one night that I went in to my friend’s parent’s bedroom, turned the light on and had a wee on their floor thinking it was the bathroom 
just awful…
Ahhh my cringe story involved pissing in someone’s room too 
no way!
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I’m going red on your behalf! I have to remind myself of these exploits cuz after 123 days I feel like I’m missing booze. Every time I feel like getting drunk I remind myself of all the stupid things I’ve ever done and how shit I feel the next day. Stay strong.
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Another one - My ex was Djing at the opening of a new clothes shop, over the course of the day I drank the free booze, fell in to a rack of sunglasses and puked all over the floor in the shop then apparently pointed to the puke and said “Some gross bastard has been sick on the floor”…I’m such an arsehole when drunk!
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I was at a very posh BMW car launch, my ex works in the motor industry and there was lots of free wine, I had never drank wine before , I think I had about 10 glasses of a mixture of red and white in less than an hour.
There was a Beatles tribute band and I got up and started dancing when no one else was dancing, it was very early on and then started trying to get people to dance and no one would, I then started shouting “Dance you bunch of boring bastards” at the top of my voice.
Then they had a golf simulator and I tried having a go and the club flew out of my hand and crashed through the projector screen. I have no idea why they even let me try given the shape I was in.
As if that wasn’t enough, I was then sick all over the floor of the BMW show room and it sprayed over one of the cars and then I passed out in the toilet and my other half couldn’t find me, eventually he did.
I had to be taken home by my very embarrassed other half. I woke up the next morning and couldn’t recall any of it until he told me what I had done and it all came back to me, he clearly wasn’t very happy and I was in the dog house for months.
I was actually in the same showroom last week 15 years on, thankfully I was sober and they couldn’t remember me.
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Sorry but I’m laughing my head off at this!!
I was only 19 no wonder my friends called me the mess. There’s lots more like it.
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And I’m laughing because I know I would have been up there dancing and puking with you!
I was never a violent drunk, just a proper fucking nutter.
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Same here, mad as a box of frogs…I’m still the same and I’m almost 36!
Lol…arsehole?! I was just thinking about my stories…so so many. Its funny that I always think drinking will make me more fun at the party but really…when I’m drunk…I’m so friggin sarcastic and mean. Yikes!!!
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