Cringey memories help me stay on track. I look back on them with disgust and embarassment and wonder why oh why did i do that… Oh i know… Coz i was drunk. and so i never drink again! 55 days sober today!
Lets seeeee…
Ive got… throwing up all over myself at someones wedding, peeing myself secretly, walking drunk up the road to get more alcohol while already drunk, finding random bruises the morning after a big night, picking up someone i had a crush on, waking up next to someone i did not have a crush on, chasing after an ex like out of a romcom complete with loud crying and running down a flight of steps to his car (shouldve let him go as he was a gambling addict!!).
The one that was most damaging was staying with somone who had a gambling problem. It fuelled (and in some way created) my alcohol problem and caused a great deal of pain that i dont know will ever reverse.
I force myself to think of these things as well when my mind trys to block them out, I’m so good at it I can’t really recall something specific right now, although I know there are a bunch. Thanks for the reminders, definitely helps keep me on track.
I cried. So much. I once burst into tears after dropping some chicken on the floor. I obviously used drinking for an outlet when I was feeling shit and as an excuse to not deal with my problems! The last time I got drunk I lost all my stuff and ended up in a bar on my own, crying. The next day was the realisation that I should just give it a break for a while, on suggestion from my boyfriend who was amazing and had helped me piece all my shit back together (literally and metaphorically!).
Although I think the cringiest thing was on the way back from a friend’s hen party, staying at another friends house. Despite being right outside I apparently decided I needed to pee in the street. Got my knickers tangled in heels/lost balance or something and ended up going face first into the pavement. With my arse and, ahem, everything else, on full display right up on the air. Don’t remember that at all but I was checking the local Spotted pages for weeks after to double check no one had caught the moment on camera
Some of my lighter hearted gaffs include tearing my mcl while pissing on the bathroom floor(least that’s what we think happened), being awoken by my kids on the stairs cause I could only make it to the landing, pissing all over the kitchen table, having a girl pick me up when arguing with the wife and then dropping me back off after stuff.
I have some really dark and violent stuff too. Most nights I remember everything, I didn’t black out often.
One of my most damaging moments happened around five years ago, I was out dancing with my ex girlfriend, I picked her up and spinning her around etc. A male friend asked me to do the same with him, unfortunately he was 17 stone, and I went on one leg and it snapped my ACL ligament. After surgery I was doing well and back to around 95% strength.
Until last month I got really drunk and slipped in a club, I think I’ve undone the surgery and will have to go under the knife again at one point.
This makes me feel so crap, I’m an active person and this would never of happened without drink. It’s a constant reminder of how irresponsible drink can make me, and also a reminder of what damage drink cause’s.
I have way way way to many drunkin episodes that replay in my mind. I just cant bielive the things I have done through the years wasted off my ass. So many blackouts.
My dad’s mate walked in on his wife’s parents whilst they were watching TV, he pissed on the TV and went back to bed. The parents had left in the morning when he woke up!
Ahh the cringey memories, too many to list here and very similar to yours. I was battling with extreme shame in the beginning but I find it healthier now not to dwell on them but always bring the lot out when I get an urge. History shows that nothing good will ever come out of drinking and I will never forget the ridicule, regret and shame next day always brings.
I am so lucky. Have been with him since I was 15 (30 now). We’ve been through a lot of bad times, we both used to abuse drink and drugs when we met and that continued into mid 20s. His parents both died before he was 20 and it was tough, lots of anger mixed up with hedonism and everything in between.
He got out of those habits before me, I now realise how unsupportive of him I was while he was going through all that which makes me all the more grateful for the support he’s given me these last couple of months!
I am just getting more cringey memories, ha. Went through a phase of sleepwalking and wandered into a few rooms of friends in just my pants. Can laugh about it now it’s behind me but very glad that kind of thing won’t happen again.
Like @Legacy says, sure there are more cringey things to come but at least they will be sober ones! Hopefully with less exposure of body parts…
I try my hardest to remember the bad shit too. I was such an arsehole drunk that I never want to be that person again. Not so much cringe but just a bit dark. It was like an alter ego would come out, true Jekyll and Hyde. I once punched a female friend in the face when I was blackout because she knocked my cocaine off the table in the middle of a bar. Had my jaw broken in a fight, been arrested for DUI, fallen down night club stairs off my face on ecstasy and broken my arm, came to miles away from home in a random town trying to break into cars to sleep because I double dropped some ecstasy and lost my mind, attempted to walk through a wall in a friend’s house because I thought there was a time portal when I was high on Ketamin… The list is endless, dark and not a very nice place. This app is very cathartic though, I’ve always liked the idea of a journal or writing my thoughts down but I’ve never had the motivation to do it. Writing things down here, safe with other people that understand your demons is pretty amazing
I won’t even say the drunk driving, the dangerous situations I put myself in, the recklessness, the injuries — no. The worst for me is that I caused my Mother (who I lived with at my worst times) and Father endless worry, constantly, for several years because of my behavior. The third time I broke my nose (2011 - easily my darkest year), my Mom got a phone call in the middle of the night from the Police after they found a pool of blood on the sidewalk, with my belongings laying in it (including wallet and phone), but I was gone. The stain is still there to this day. I can’t even imagine the worry she felt, and I can’t apologize enough for that stuff. The best apology I can offer is to keep my head on straight and not let any of this shit happen again. God bless my parents, they never gave up on me when frankly they would’ve had every right to more than a few times.
I’ve said it before…90% of the time, I am fine when drinking. The other 10% I revert to pure animal brain/autopilot. You don’t know what’s going to come out of me when I’m like that. Rage, aggression, sadness, destructiveness, and pure recklessness. All things that are NOT me at all.
It’s just too much of a gamble for me, and I never want to be that person ever again. So, no more.
and so i never drink again! 55 days sober today!
