I have 21 hours sober and hit my first AA meeting last night. My wake up call (this time) was my ex girlfriend leaving me over my drinking. It was a fairly new relationship and things were going amazing, though there were two instances we got in arguments while I was slightly intoxicated and feeling attacked I lashed out and I called her a c***. That was the thing that put her over the edge.
I was in a great place prior to the relationship after being single a long time. My drinking was often and heavy, but always in a party environment, I am heavily into the rave scene and spend many nights dancing under the electric sky. I was happy, truly happy.
I know I have lost her for good which is terrible because I am in love with her and probably will be for the foreseeable future (things were that good…98% of the time). Even if I never hear from her again (which i pray to god I do) I know I need to get a handle on my drinking for me, and that means not drinking at all
I have been through this enough times to know that I cant say I wont have another drink ever again, but I am not going to drink today. My second AA meeting is tonight and I will have more than 24 hours sober. I am going to wait to get my chip until next Thursday nights meeting since because I’ve had 24 hours sober a bunch of times over the past 3 months, I haven’t had 8 days sober since 2012.
I’m 38 years old and have two kids, I don’t want to die soon.