Because you don’t want to look at your past?
Could be. I do suffer from complex ptsd
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Hi Stacey we havnt spoken in a while,I’m on step six with my sponsor I was gointo start them all over as I’m back from the mothe of all relapses but I have been instructed to carry on. The steps of n.a. are bloody hard work which is why we need to work them with a sponsor. I’ve just read your full thread and have seen how hard you are working, I would really like to ask what your drug of choice is as I’ve seen you mention the odd usage of opiates and then benzos,the clonazepam. I’ve abused most drugbut it was heroithat really got me stuck as you develop a physical dependence which makes things so much more difficult.
How are you doing today I’d really like to know, talk to me mate .
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Hi beaut!
The thing with stepwork for me… I allready know the answer to every question in there.
The book is merely a mirror and that’s what’s soothing and scary at the same time.
Trust me when I say the mirror will help you to forgive you and learn how to bear you without any substances.
Have faith and pray through those steps. Call people every day when you’ve done some writing.
My trick was to start my day with 1/2 hours of working it.
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No pun intended but I’m going to step up my game after reading that Mario mate,thirty minutes of writing on my step work with my morning coffee.
She,s a fighter is @swam, I think ul agree.
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I ment 1 or 2 hours 
I think swam is making the right choices.
I do really understand the fear, step 4 made me postpone bilut known it’s done I’ve learned so so much about the why’s and the what’s of my using.
It is a healing proces. It really is
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Ok il make it an hour over coffee then the rest will have to be the evening,I had been doing it just when I was in the mood which is not the way to go about it 
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Hi hi
My DOC is actually cannabis…I suppose most people would count that as jot a big deal…but I pursue it to the degree other people pursue harder drugs…so yeah ruins my life so j have to fight hard to stay off it.
I’m sorry to hear you relapsed badly but I am stoked to see you back
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I want to start so badly but I am actually petrified. My anxiety sky rockers as soon as I think about getting the book out…I’m borrowing mg sponsors book until she gets mine she has ordered it. I might start then…I dna…I’m just scared.
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Cannabis is a big deal,maybenot for most but there are many people on this very forum whom I know struggle really hard with its use.
Looking back and knowing what I now know when I look back at my cannabis use age many years ago and I can clearly see how the manner in which I used it was very problematic and indicative of severe traits of addiction. Knowing this then would probably not have made any difference as i hought the stuff wasna gift from God that I would consume for the rest of my life. Ah the lessons we learn!
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I agree. At the time I thought it was the best thing ever but it has taken alot from me. I let it take a lot from me. But I thank God he has got me onna better path for sure.
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Cannabis junkie 
right here. Don’t downplay that! Addiction is a disease one drug or the other…
And i understand. Scary stuff… But haven’t life thought us that if we postpone shit it only gets scarier eventually.
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Do yourself… If an hour is what you can do… That’s it.
I am finishing step 5 coming Sunday and then I’ll be 182 days clean. My sponsor says… Don’t slowdown that’s killing for the motivation.
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I think today is the day I need to start. I’ve been feeling very very tempted today. The mental game is real.
Hope everyone is doing well 
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What I’ve found is that I never “feel” like doing the step work. It’s just something you have to decide to do and then do it. If I waited until I felt like it I’d never get around to it. Which is why I’m stuck on step 4.
Hi Team,
Checking in at Day 22. Sorry about my quiet few days. It’s been pretty hectic. Today I got to go to the gardens with a friend and her daughter. It was a really awesome little adventure. Todays reading at the meeting was about Step 2. I really related to having to hand my will over to God, my Higher Power. I’m learning so much about addiction through just the fact I cant manage it alone or on my own terms. Having to hand my will over to God has helped me recognise that my life becomes unmanageable when I turn to my own will, because I tend to choose drugs, and when I choose addiction over what’s right, my life becomes chaos.
Today I am grateful for another day clean and my Higher Power for all the intervention in my recovery.
All my love
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The problem with addiction, is that it’s based on body’s dependency towards the substance, so after detoxing the body from the substance, what’s left then, is to stay focused on avoiding connecting the substance back to the body.
So basically getting rid of addiction consists of two steps: detoxication and disconnection.
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So happy to see this Stacey. I’m really pleased for you.
It’s so much easier when we just stand back, let go and let our HP guide us.
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Hi Team,
Checking in on Day 23. Uhm so I havent started the step work yet…
The end…
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No rush. Got the rest of your life Stacey.
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