I just feel defeated
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You may feel defeated but you haven’t let that defeat you. Just take things easy for now and be patient with yourself. Sometimes when we force ourselves to be happy for so long we get burnt out and in a rut. I know I’ve been there. How are you doing today? Any different?
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That is a hard, hard feeling. I hear you. Take care Stacey and know that things do get better. I know it, I don’t have BPD myself but I know people who do, and who work it daily. Some days are really rough. But reach out, stay in touch. It will pass.
Thinking of you pal 
Sending love and care. We love you 
Sometimes I pound my chest because it hurts less than letting it hurt on its own
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I feel so bad for you Stacey. I wish i could give you big hugs and hold you in my arms. Your life is worth living and i know it’s hard for you to see that right now. Hang in there. We all love and care for you deeply. 
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Thanks @Lisa07
I tried reaching out too and got told to stop being selfish so…last time I do that…
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Wtf is wrong with people??? This shit annoys me. You’re absolutely NOT selfish. You’re only human and we all need help IMO.
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I’m with @Lisa07. That is annoying as hell. You reach out because you need something. We all need something sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that!
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Apparently the thought shouldnt even criss my mind and I should stop being selfish and only thinking if myself. So yay me
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Maybe reach out to a different person? Whoever told you this is way off base.
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This is sad news Stacey, and to my mind it is the other person who is being selfish.
Here is another little thing that may help you.
Recognizing Feelings
Experiencing feelings can be a challenge if we’ve had no previous experience or permission to do that. Learning to identify what we’re feeling is a challenge we can meet, but we will not become experts overnight. Nor do we have to deal with our feelings perfectly.
Here are some ideas that might be helpful as you learn to recognize and deal with feelings.
Take out a sheet of paper. On the top of it write, “If it was okay to feel whatever I’m feeling, and I wouldn’t be judged as bad or wrong, what would I be feeling?” Then write whatever comes to mind. You can also use the favorite standby of many people in discovering their feelings: writing or journaling. You can keep a diary, write letters you don’t intend to send, or just scribble thoughts onto a note pad.
Watch and listen to yourself as an objective third person might. Listen to your tone of voice and the words you use. What do you hear? Sadness, fear, anger, happiness?
What is your body telling you? Is it tense and rigid with anger? Running with fear? Heavy with sadness and grief? Dancing with joy?
Talking to people in recovery helps too. Going to meetings helps. Once we feel safe, many of us find that we open up naturally and with ease to our feelings.
We are on a continual treasure hunt in recovery. One of the treasures we’re seeking is the emotional part of ourselves. We don’t have to do it perfectly. We need only be honest, open, and willing to try. Our emotions are there waiting to share themselves with us.
Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as I go through my day. I will not judge myself for what I’m feeling; I will accept myself.
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Thanks heaps for this @anon12657779. The first part is something I’ve never tried. Like if I had permission to feel whatever I wanted what would I feel. So I will definitely give that a go.
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Im alive. I’m relatively okay. I just had KFC and cuddled my cat and now I’m watching trash TV haha #dalife
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Wish me luck everyone hopefully I get myb30 day tag tomorrow 
I’m actually almost on 40 days haha but I been sick too so no meetings
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No luck Stacey, just pure worrior strength.
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You seem to be feeling better. Or at least doing better. Those dark days do pass. Good job on sticking with it, sharing you’re stuff here, not craving alone, and achieving 40+ days. Congratulations!
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Wow 40 days… If my kid wasn’t sleeping in the other room id be making some noise.
So great you k we or your cool as good as you could. Enjoy that chip 
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Congrats on your 40 days! Very proud of you Stacey. Your hard work keeps paying off.
Hope you’re feeling better.
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