Welcome to the thread Mya! I so relate to what you wrote and I know its hard to see yourself now not being able to do what you used to be able to do so easily and with so much motivation 6 months ago.
This comparison for me is what took so long to get over and Yes I too was filled with shame and hated that I could not do the basics. I didn’t even have the want as every time I did my pains would act up my inflammation would go crazy and i was far from where I knew I could be. But Hey – I decided enough was enough. I am starting from today and no matter what I will give it my 100% as of today. Guess what - i still had all the issues pop up but overall I feel the progress. I am moving faster. I am lifting more. My stamina is improving. All with baby steps. Like super baby steps. I started 4 months ago with just walking up the stairs (due to pain and other issues i had to crawl before). Slowly building on this I have added more activity to my day. I do have some bad days and that’s ok. Just take it ODAAT. I know its hard but you are not alone.
Join us on the August challenge (modify it to what you can do but do it and who knows where that will lead).
Hope to see you here positing with us.