Food for thought dear friend. Immediately. Thanks.
Welcome back. Iām very glad you are here. We stand together. When we try alone we stumble. We get back up by getting back together. I donāt want to stand alone. I have been alone for a big part of my life and though I might be able to be alone I really donāt want to. I need friends. I need friends I can be my sober self with. And Iām damned grateful I find them right here right now. Very grateful I found you here. Youāre my friend. I know you get me when I say I need to stay sober. Just like the others here.
Onward and upward. One day at a time. Hugs and love.
Emmā¦just grateful you came back. Grateful you trusted us enough to share!! Grateful you know enough about sobriety to get back up and give it another go.
Glad you are back. You did not āfailā or let us down. Not me in any case. You have consistently said that you prefer, want, and are grateful for your sober life, for not reaching for that corkscrew automatically, without or with thought, at any moment, any win, disappointment, disaster, etcetera. You only disappoint, I will not even use the word āfailā , should you continue on imbibing when you would be most happy not imbibing. Glad you know that you have strong support around you and a group that gets it and gets you. Big hugs xoxo Onward and forward!
@M-be-free49 it is so brave and strong of you to share this and thank you. Today is a new day and you can use the great things youāve learned so far to start fresh; and most importantly know you are not alone.
Theres my fellow Canadian ā¦ strong and free and appoligizing totally Canadian eh
whether your on day one or five thousand you and all are welcome here
Iām grateful you found the strength to share
Proud of you andā¦onward
p.s. You rock. Ya you!!
p.p.s. We all missed you. If you need or want to talk let me or the gratidudes know. &
Iām grateful for a wonderful visit with my family. Iām grateful that my head held up until yesterday when a migraine started, but I was able to rally and be present for most of our Thanksgiving gathering on Friday. Iām grateful Eric is able to drive us the entire way home since I cannot and that I can express sincere gratitude for him doing so. Iām grateful we are past the halfway mark and wonāt have to drive very long in the dark. Iām grateful that I will sleep in my own bed tonight.
@M-be-free49 You will never let me down. My life is better on this forum with you here. You are human, my friend. I am sure youāve dissected the fuck out of this relapse.
I am grateful you decided to post. I am grateful you are here and that you exist.
Sorry is a wasted emotion. Back at it, lady! Back at it!
You are far better off than you were before that long stretch of days and you will become better still. The days still belong to you, Emm.
I am grateful to be sober.
I am grateful for a kickass nightās sleep.
I am grateful for my made bed (over two weeks, not missed a day!)
I am grateful for Emmāsā courage.
I am grateful for extra spicy ginger beer.
I am grateful for my kids. They really are pretty amazing.
I am grateful for a substantially lazy day with three meetings, reading, and puttering about.
I am grateful for the unseasonably warm weather.
I am grateful for the yet-unfound-IRL friend to share good and bad times with.
I am grateful for big dreams, met and still unmet.
Shit, @M-be-free49, I donāt know what to say.
Iām not going to say Iām not sad, because I am. This whole episode, waiting for you to post again, whilst fearing the worst, has made me realise that I actually care about you in real life. It has felt like waiting for one of the kids to come home late at night. Knowing how lousy you must feel now makes me feel sad. Knowing how uncomfortable you must feel sharing this with us makes me feel sad.
Iām not going to say Iām not a little bit disappointed though, because I am. Whenever I find myself in a situation like this, I find it really hard to accept unconditional love and support. I canāt help but feel that people are just saying what they think I need them to say and it somehow makes me feel worse. (Thatās not to denegrate the responses that people have already posted - we are all different) My kids disappoint me all the time, but I donāt throw them out on the street. I ride it out, I let them know, but I love them a little bit harder and try to work out how I can be better at supporting them so that they get it right next time.
Iām not going to say Iām not a little bit triggered, because I am. You are a role-model of mine who Iāve looked up to since I joined this forum. If you can drink, anyone can, and if I think about it the wrong way, it kind of gives me permission to do the same. I wonāt, though. Fortunately for me, it is Sunday morning here and Iāve already done the hardest part of the weekend. I will have my head around it by next weekend. Your obvious pain has also strengthened my resolve. I hate how you must feel, and I donāt want to feel like that.
It took guts to come back. I think I might have just deleted the app. That makes me respect you even more in the overall grand scheme of things. This place is better with you in it, and I think you are better in this place. Give it a few weeks and itāll just be another war wound to discuss around the camp fire.
If I could have sent this message privately, I would have.
Iām grateful that youāre back.
This hit home with me.
I had been sober for nine and a half years. I had been thinking about trying to drink like a gentleman for a couple of years. I was very active in AA.
After thinking about it for a while. I decided to drink a couple beers. I figured if it didnt work, no big deal. I would have learned what I needed to learn.
Nothing bad happened from those two beers. I had set rules for myself in regards to drinking. I had every intention of following them. I went to my meeting. I had a service position.
I wasnāt expecting how fake I felt when I got there. I felt completely out of place. I resigned from my service position and never went back. All my friendships I had made over the years, I walked away from. I had no idea this would happen from drinking two beers.
My drinking like a gentleman didnāt last long. I became so determined to keep trying. For another eight years I tried. I tried so hard that I came close to an early grave and a dishonorable death from alcohol.
My mind separated me from something that had been good for me. Almost instantly. I see it now because hindsight is 20/20. I wish I could have seen it then and changed my thinking.
Thank you, thank you - everyone - for this outpouring. I wasnāt expecting it, and I am grateful for it.
@Singtone, Iām very glad you posted your honest reply. I can relate to it, which may sound absurd - particularly from where I sit now. When others on the forum have relapsed, especially those with more days, Iāve sometimes needed to back up a bit - to get a bit of distance - to protect my own sobriety. Exactly what you said - if they can have a drink, why then canāt I? This is what I meant when I said āI know I have to be able to stand alone in my sobrietyā. I realized I need to be strong in my own sobriety no matter who picks up or does not. To @Mnoās point though, I know canāt do this alone. I care about all of you too, and am a bit blown away by the caring responses Iāve received back today.
Singtone? I didnāt want to make you worry. Thank you for caring. Iāll call next time if Iām going to be late. Or post before I pick up a drink.
Iām grateful to God thank you for guiding me through another day clean and sober. Iām grateful for my recovery. Iām grateful for ALL my family, friends, TS and the gratidudes. Iām grateful that I get tips at this new job, very handy. Iām grateful for my sponsee. Iām grateful that at the doctor appointment the other day all my tests came back healthy. Iām grateful that I bought bandages and ointments and whatnot since I have cuts and burns from working fast, hope I learn from it, my finger hurts Iām grateful for the walk I took tonight it has been a while since I went out solely to walk and listen to music, felt good. Iām grateful to be adjusting to my new sleep schedule fairly well so far. Iām grateful that I just remember my clothes should be done drying and I can bring them up and have that fresh laundry smell in my room instead of peanut butter snack smell. Iām grateful for big yawns reminding me to shut down sooner than later. Iām grateful for humor and laughter.
God bless you all. &
There you are Em! I was just thinking today how much I missed you and your beautiful words. So glad youāre back. Itās not the same here without you! PS: How is the dog girl doing? Love you guys.
I am grateful to have had the strength, focus, and support of family to make it through 30 days of freedom from alcohol!
I am grateful to have access to so many resources to help me on this journey of freedom.
I am grateful that so many people have studied and learned about addiction and human healing. They have found ways to talk about it and teach about it that resonate with me and make me want to be on this very positive journey to freedom.
I am grateful to have pretty good health and to be many years away from the trauma of my abusive childhood. Time is slowly healing and allowing me to cherish the little girl inside.
I am grateful for a pretty healthy and happy family.
I am grateful for a happy marriage.
I am grateful for a satisfying professional life.
I am grateful for a safe and pleasant home.
I hope you all have a peaceful Sunday. I appreciate all that this community provides.
We are parked on the crab grounds waiting for 8 am when the official start begins.
Its incredible ocean conditions. Calm and serene. I am grateful.
A boat load of gear is the most dangerous part of crabbing. A calm ocean is not normal for this time of year.
Iām grateful for the five hours of sleep I got. Iāve been sleeping good lately. I feel rested this morning. I am grateful!
Iām grateful for this this forum and the community here. I visit frequently especially the last week as I focus on recovery knowing Iām going to need all the strength I can get.
Iām grateful for the friends I have made here. I feel like I have a strong support team. That makes me grateful!
Im grateful for the moment I have to write this! My heart is filled with gratitude!
Iām grateful for this thread! I get so much out of it and Iām grateful your here!
Iām grateful Iām up early, even though I stayed up way too late last night. I gotta get back on a better night time schedule.
Iām grateful for dinner out last night and movie night, at home, with my wife.
Iām grateful the way Daisy sits on my lap or my right thigh and partly on the arm rest, and keeps me warm.
Iām grateful for heat and my fireplace.
Iām grateful I was able to moderate yesterday WITH MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. it was hard but I managed. Hopefully I wonāt do anymore since we are leaving soon and wonāt be here to enjoy them. But Iām already thinking just these other couple of easy things that are in my closet. Iām grateful what I did decorate looks nice and I can leave it at that
Iām grateful to see all the love here on this thread and many other threads at TS. Itās so cool to see the love troops rally around each other. Iāve never seen so many people, that donāt know each other, care so deeply. Iām grateful for that bond we all share.
Iām grateful my heater turned off. Itās so fucking loud and now I can enjoy the peace and quiet of the morning and hear Minnieās rhythmic breathing from the couch and the tick of the clock.
Iām grateful for my health and family and pets and house and home and all my other blessings.
Iām grateful for the knowledge I learn on TS. Especially if itās just one new thing every day that I can easily incorporate into my morning routine.
Iām grateful for this gratitude practice.
Iām so grateful for this sober community. The words of strangers give me hope. @notalonepod
& 
Iām grateful for the walk I took tonight it has been a while since I went out solely to walk and listen to music, felt good. Iām grateful to be adjusting to my new sleep schedule fairly well so far. Iām grateful that I just remember my clothes should be done drying and I can bring them up and have that fresh laundry smell in my room instead of peanut butter snack smell. Iām grateful for big yawns reminding me to shut down sooner than later. Iām grateful for humor and laughter.