I am so grateful for my parents. They are amazing individuals as well as partners and have been an example for me. We all have our flaws and I have inherited some of theirs
but I come from good people and that gives me a lot of comfort. They help me want to be a better person, always have, and that matters a lot to me. I’m grateful what drives me in my life, now more than ever and especially in sobriety, is to be better, do better. I don’t mean that in maybe the classic American ego-centered sense, and it’s not without compassion for myself, but I want to learn about myself and figure out what works, what doesn’t, and try to improve when I can. This to me is not in conflict with living in the moment or another mantra to “just be,” if that makes any sense (it does to me, I guess). I think my folks embody that. They are so authentically themselves and are comfortable just “being,” but they also have demonstrated to me that they are human and they make mistakes and they try to do better. It’s such a valuable lesson. I am grateful they are actively in my life, they make efforts to be a part of my life and they come visit me when they can! Gosh, the pandemic was lonely when I didn’t see them for almost a year and a half. It feels like lost time. I’m grateful we can make plans now and I’ll be down to visit in April.
I’m grateful we had some really important conversations, and even if they do not want to talk about my problems with alcohol directly, we could talk around it and make important messages clear. In some ways, the things we talked about were directed to the root causes of my alcohol use and so it is more meaningful to me, because I don’t identify as an alcoholic, I see it as how alcohol was something I used to cope with other things. I don’t blame them for not wanting to address the alcohol issue directly, they are private people and respect my privacy and I had the all out convo with them already in the past and in their minds it’s in the past and that is okay! This is the story I am telling myself. That and the fact that my dad had his own journey with using alcohol to cope and with quitting drinking. I’m okay with this, at least, and they just want to see me doing okay and being happy. I’m grateful they say they saw that on this visit. I am grateful I can find more direct support in recovery and talk specifically about my issues with alcohol and mental health problems in other very important places with other very important people. So grateful.
I’m grateful they video chatted with me when they were snug in their beds after getting home safely and we talked while I cooked dinner. They said that they were happy to see us so comfortable and content and that they felt at home while they were here. That is all I have ever wanted and it was so great to hear. I am grateful they said they will be back soon even though I’m planning a visit down in mid-April. They said they like hanging out with us in our little house! What fun.
I am grateful I can write a long gratitude post and it is welcome on this thread! I am grateful we are expecting a “typical” snow event today according to the meteorologist on my morning news show, even if it’s just an inch it will look pretty and give my puppers Lupe something to play in.
One last thing. I am grateful to live in a safe place with no threats coming in and I am grateful I can watch what is happening in Ukraine and send my hopes for some swift conclusion to this nonsense. I’m grateful for the conversations I had with my dad about this situation and the perspective his wise mind was able to offer me. I send all my love to the people of Ukraine. My heart breaks for their pain. I am grateful that I care.
So grateful for my amigos here. Love you amigos. 