Daily Gratitude - Recovery from Porn Addiction


#1

So, back when I was having some luck living free of my addiction I had read that practicing gratitude can really help change one’s perspective and help to fend off the self pity that can drive us right back to the comforts of using to numb the pain. Please feel free to share by listing 3 things you’re grateful today for or a positive experience from the last 48 hours or both. I intend to write something every day I can, I encourage y’all to do the same. Please keep me accountable :wink:
Here goes nothin’:

  1. My son is 2.5 hrs old and I’m grateful for the clarity of clean living so that I can be fully present for him. I got the sweetest hug from him tonight. He grabbed my wife and I by the neck at the same time and said, “I love you all.” Then proceeded to give us both Eskimo kisses.
    2)I’m thankful that I do not have to travel for Christmas this year. My parents just sold the childhood home (6 hrs away) and are living nearby. I’m looking forward to starting some traditions and I’m glad that my son has his grandparents so close.
  2. Call me a masochist, but I kinda like the feeling of sore muscles after strenuous exercise. I played some pick-up basketball for 1.5 hrs yesterday and it felt good to lace 'em up again and connect with some acquaintances.

#2

Remembering to be grateful is a great exercise!

  1. I am grateful for my new therapist who has already helped me identify some deep rooted problems I need to work through.
  2. I am grateful to have friends who are checking in on me occasionally.
  3. I am grateful for the 45 minutes my wife and I spent together last night watching old episodes of the Office. We laughed and smiled together, which has been a rare thing recently.

#3

Well my car got towed from my condo complex the other night. Where does the gratitude come in??

  1. I am grateful I noticed it was towed pretty quickly. I very well could have not because sometimes I go days without driving my truck. And the storage fees are daily at the tow yard

  2. I am grateful that I had the money to get my truck back. Back when I was drinking, I would not have

  3. I am sooooooo grateful for my wife is who she is. Her job is an HOA (homeowners associations) manager. So she just so happens to use this towing company for her Associations. Shes a somebody!! So she was able to get the $295 down to $125 to get my truck back…
    And she’s super cute! Just throw that in there☺️


#4

Ice cream yer thats pretty good


#6

And perhaps you learnt your lesson not not park off where you do or for the time it was there. Lots of positives haha good job on finding the positives from that one.


#7

Myvenglish is horrible but I think you get it. Lesson learnt.


#8

I’m trying to battle through some tedious work. So I figured I’d take a break to share my daily gratitude.

  1. I’m thankful for finding SoberTime/Talking Sober. It helps so much to have a place to share with people who understand the nuances of addiction. Having a sounding board and getting feedback from others who validate my plight is priceless to my sanity and that feeling of isolation.
    2)I’m grateful for the helpful small community that I live in. Friends and support are around every corner.
    3)I’m looking forward to watching our son interact with his cousins during our Christmas celebrations. His ability to communicate is so amazing for his age and every day I’m better able to grasp his thoughts and feelings now that he can put words into them. Becoming a father has held a mirror up to my behaviors. I’m a better dad without my DOC.

#9

Sounds like you talked to my wife :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#10

I’m grateful I have a job. I’m grateful I have all the necessary things in life to make me comfortable, I’m grateful I have a chance to be sober.


#11
  1. I am grateful for my baby girl’s jelly-joiner hugs. We invented the word “stranana”, she was strawberry and I was the banana :strawberry::banana:

  2. I am grateful for the fantastic devotional plan that is helping me navigate the minefield of divorce.:angel:

  3. I am grateful for finding the classic step workout video on YouTube, which helped me lose my baby fat 20 years ago🚼


#12

I’m thankful for 2 weeks clean. It made for a memorable and blessed Christmas with my family. I am much less irritable and able to enjoy the small moments when I’m not using.
I’m currently reading “Recovery,” by Russell Brand. It has reminded me that I MUST keep reading at least a few pages of a good/helpful book every day and try to minimize my TV intake. It’s a great read and has me searching for a 12 step program in my area. I’m grateful for his similar perspectives on institutional recovery and his humor in relating his own story of addiction.Talking Sober is great but I feel like I need to incorporate the physical act of of attending a meeting into my sobriety. If I don’t, I feel like I’m not really admitting the problem because I’m keeping it as a part of my “online” life rather than my real life.
I’m blessed with a caring family, a warm home during some bitter cold, and the ability to provide food and a stable environment for my son. He is so bright, I just want to do anything I can to foster his confidence and curiosity.


#13

I’m thinking of finding a meeting, too. I agree with you that this forum is great, but to go to listen to others and help each other in person would be helpful to me. Even once a week would be great.


#14

Hit three weeks today despite all of the justifications that the inner addict has been spouting to get me to cave in. I’m giving myself a pat on the back.

This may sound strange but Im thankful for my previous relapses because there isn’t a trick that my mind has played on me that I haven’t seen before. You hear that brain?! I’m onto you and your self-serving bullshit! Ultimately I now know that there aren’t any excuses left for me to use. I’ve expended every single one. Relapse is a choice and I don’t have to be compelled by the addict inside.

Finally, I’m grateful for the combined sense of reflection and ambition that the New Year brings. This will be my 34th year on this planet and I have the choice of living with a crutch, lost in a dark but familiar forest to which I have become accustomed or I can begin to seek the path that I was meant to follow, the one that leads out of the forest and toward to a fulfilling life of uncertainty & adventure, pain & discovery, failure & exhilaration.
To all of us who still feel lost & alone; here’s to hoping that we are able to recognize when our path is illuminated and to have faith when our path seems dark and perilous. Our time is limited, let’s use it wisely.


#15

Trying to recover from a pretty bad relapse. If you all aren’t aware, my DOC is porn.

I wanted to renew my daily gratitude practice after the depression spiral I have been in the past few weeks.
1)I’m thankful for sunshine. I can finally start to feel winter relinquishing it’s grip a little. I think I need to admit the psychological toll that the holidays and the deep dark cold of mid-winter have on me. Its my goal to establish a strategy for it the next time it comes along.
2)I’m thankful for exercise, I’ve dropped 5 lbs over the last 5 weeks and I can feel it. I want to carry this routine with me for a long time. My confidence is higher when I look in the mirror and that os a bit of preventative medicine for me. Not to mention the fact that it takes the edge off of my anxiety a little bit.
3)I’ve started using guided meditation to improve my focus and reduce my tendencies to overthink things. I constantly tend to forget that I can’t always analyze my problems away. Its great to focus on someone elses voice rather than remain engaged with the inner monologue of my ego. Besides that, I’ve found out that other people often share guided meditations to this forum. I’m grateful for that too.


#16

7.8 days clean

I’m here. I won’t use porn today.

Feeling low, feeling irritable, just downright grumpy.

I’m digging deep to find some gratitude today. Here it goes:

  1. I’m thankful for the writing of Eckhart Tolle. I’ve begun to look at my unhealthy habits in a different way because of his worda. It’s prompted me to bring mindfulness and consciousness to my life situation and appreciate life in the moment, because it’s all there really is. All we have is now. We might as well live in awe of it, rather than obsess about emotional pain inflicted years ago.

2)I’m warm and cozy in front of a woodstove typing this. It smells like charred birch and I’m sipping coffee. I’m surrounded by memories and the few meaningful possessions that invoke those memories.

  1. Despite the problems in my life situation, I know, in this moment, that I am whole. I feel unease and anxious. With mindfulness I must move toward that discomfort. Life is truly lived outside of the comfort zone. I have, within me, the capacity to call on my higher power to help me rise above my minds desires to engage in unhealthy habits. When I can’t do it alone, I know where to look for help.

Great experience from the last 48 hrs:
There’s actually 2 great experiences…
-on Tuesday I was having lunch with my son (he’ll be 3 in May) and out of the blue he says, “Papa, I just love you so much…with all my heart.” I hugged him and tried to keep it together in front of all the people around us.
-at daycare yesterday my son made a Valentine for us. It was a digital picture of him blowing a kiss. They asked the kids why they love their parents and wrote it on the card. His reason was, “because they call me squirt.” Squirt is a nickname that my dad used to call me, I started doing the same to my son.
I never really realized it, but it’s the only nickname he will tolerate. Fatherhood kicks ass.


#17

Great post man. I’m glad you are sober today. I call my 4 year old “Butters”. It was kind of a combo of Bud and Buddy and Buds. Just kind of turned into Butters. Lol.

And yes, fatherhood kicks ass!!


#18

Positive experience… noticing feelings really do pass. I became furious after reading a text from a friend yesterday. The thought “feelings pass” popped in my head. It was cool to truly notice how feelings diffuse. I didn’t “need” to go grab a drink to calm down. Having a normal range of emotions is normal.


#19

Right on Sweet tea! It such a simple yet humongous realization to observe our minds craving escape from suboptimal feelings. We condition ourselves to find a way out of the uneasiness. So much of living with addiction is about finding a way to be okay with the fleeting emotions we are prone to run from. Boredom, loneliness, sadness, spitefulness, loss/failure…all reasons for me to bury my head in the sand with my DOC. It never let me down.
My consciousness has come to see that no real joy can ever be found down addiction road. I find pleasure in my unhealthy habits. For a long time I confused joy and pleasure to be the same. Joy is restorative and fulfilling , pleasure provides diminishing returns.


#20

I’m feeling a little better today. 8.67 days clean at the moment. Still not very productive at work. I’ve deleted social media from my phone to try to remove distractions. Instead of looking for eye candy, I’m reading anything I can that pertains to porn addiction or mindfulness.

  1. I’m grateful for yoga. I’m hoping to keep it as my Thursday night routine. It helps to stretch out my muscles and add balance after running & working out Mon-Wed. As a practice it preaches mindfulness and it brings my consciousness into my body. During my long sobriety streak I was relying strongly on yoga for recovery. I got away from it because of the expense of weekly classes. However, the gym I use offers classes now at no extra charge so I’ve been taking advantage of them again. Besides that, it’s a small town and I tend to know a lot of people when I go. It’s social without any commitment to being sociable if I’m not in the mood.
  2. My father is a survivor of mouth cancer and he’s had further health concerns lately over some sores in the same area where the doctors focused treatment. I’m worried but the oncologist felt that the problem area was likely not cancerous just lingering symptoms from radiation treatmemt. I’m taking that as good news. Say a prayer for him and hope for good results on the biopsy.
  3. In this moment I feel calm. My heart is not pounding, my mind is not racing. I’m not agitated or angry. My life situation is not perfect, but Life is a beautiful thing. I want to continue to find wholeness in simply Being here and now despite the passing emotions.

Great experience from the last 24 hrs:
I feel different in some way. Like this attempt at sobriety is in a higher plane somehow. I know there are hardships and bad days ahead but I feel strong and confident right here. I’ve lost 4 lbs on my work-sponsored 6-week weightloss challenge and my clothes fit better. I didnt hit my goal of 7 lbs but I’ve found a routine that works for my family and my schedule. I also did that with very little change to my diet. If I bring more mindfulness into my eating habits I might actually have abs in 6 months.


#21

Awesome idea! I’m grateful for:

  1. The luxury of being able to take a paid sick day today to tackle this brutal cold.
  2. The freedom to live the life I want to live and make my own choices
  3. Warm tea on this snowy cold day