Monday afternoon gratitude.
Boy, I will kill those fucking nightmares one day. Before they kill me. I fucking hate nightmares. Each and every fucking night 
I’m grateful I get to function, think, live and manage the day despite of this bullshit.
I’m grateful it’s rest day for me today. I wonder what part of my body is not acheing. I’m grateful this comes from mowing for hours with the tractor yesterday. I’m grateful for my neighbour’s help and the things I learned. I’m grateful the mowing unit lasted until the last rounds before it smoldered to tell me it’s enough and next stop is the garage. I’m grateful for all my mechanical thingies that ease my life and need attention and care too. It hasn’t been used for years and waited patiently to be needed again. Well, I hope it’s repairable without complications.
I’m grateful the fields are cut down. Next time it stopps raining and gets dry enough it’s time for rototilling. I’m grateful I prepared the seedlings for planting today. The perfect work on a rainy monday.
TMI & rant hidden
I’m grateful for HALT. When I feel exhausted and tired after heavy work there’s always this longing for chats & beer & schnitzel. How many lovely, funny evenings did we all spend together in the last decades. today the chats are on the phone or by text instead of sitting together at our favourite inns, they have been closed long ago, the last ones during the lockdowns to never reopen. no more schnitzel, i don’t even know where to find a really good one, not this frozen, deep fried pre-processed crap you get if they have it on the menu. and beer never was an option when driving which now is always because living rural means car for everything. i am fucking pissed today and want my downtown flat, my inns and the get togethers with my friends back. I’m grateful this määäähhh mimimi will pass when the feeling of satiety sets in. I’m grateful I had good times I miss and friends who are still there. And also miss a good schnitzel!
I’m grateful the old boy is dreaming behind my back, I can feel him move and hear him snore a bit. I’m grateful no errands today, only home time. I’m grateful the chewing and thinking how to tackle some tasks might lead to a good solution. I had some pretty practical pictures in my mind today. After brooding over it for weeks? months? I’m grateful brain functions and comes up with useful stuff. I realize step by step how ennervating, draining and half life has been for years. I’m grateful I took and still take my time to build up a nice, good, comfy life. I’m grumpy and not grateful it takes ages. I’m short of patience these days and right now I try to ease it with gratitude but that doesn’t work too well. At least I find tons to be grateful for …
I’m grateful for rest days, homemade chickpea curry, cats around me, interesting documentaries, stealing ideas from advertising leaflets for DIY, hot showers, heated pillows, a deep cleaned washing machine, fresh laundry, seeds sprouting, seed arrivals from a nice colleague, my indoor sneakers, online everything, comfy furniture, cozy jackets & shawls, candles, tea, honey, my tractor, a fridge with everything I need, of course the dishwasher, so many nice & lovely people in my life, meditation for not giving a fuck 
ODAAT
they even packed the towel I had draped over the tub for 1 last shower.
I am deeply grateful for the outlet the FRO threads provides 
It’s ok, my bank account will survive it and oh oh do I have plants to add to the gratitude wall … pictures will follow on the garden thread.