You’re going through an enormous amount of things right now. It’s a real brain & emotional storm. But that’s already a sign of progress. It demands you don’t give up although there are days that you’d just want to do it more than anything. Looking back now I think I have a life now. When I was drinking, I lived a nightmare. So getting sober is worth it 
2 Likes
I posted this on “self identity” thread recently. I like when I get some mileage out of previous posts…
Take your time and become who you are meant to be. I’ve read that as we age, we start to care less about what people think of us. We have less patience for the bullshit and drama. At 52, I’m learning this to be mostly true. Of course there are those in our lives whose opinions will always matter but they shouldnt shape who we are, nor should we go forward with the idea that I can be whoever and however I want because “this is who I am”. Fairness and honesty should always temper who we strive to be. “To thine own self be true” indeed, but take your time to learn who that person really is without a mask, inward or outward…
4 Likes
Words of wisdom. What did you eat?
1 Like
I guess part of me feels like at 47 shouldn’t I already know who I am?? Such a waste of years and so many hurts I’ve had to navigate over the years have led me to where I am now. I guess it’s all part of me “becoming” who I am. @Fireweed there are emotional strains I haven’t even shared on here so you are so right when you say I am going through an enormous amount of things. I need to be more patient with myself. I feel like I’m finally waking up from the nightmare but I’m not entirely sure what I’m waking up to if that makes sense. Anyway thanks for taking the time to respond. I’m still not used to people I’ve never met investing in me in any way and accepting me.
5 Likes
You know what happened to me? And still is happening. I totally didn’t like myself before. I thought I was a waste of space and the only thing that counts are my kids. Now I dare say that I might have discovered the real me that was hiding somewhere under the addiction. Not perfect, but tolerable 
and developable.
5 Likes
Sounds like something I was saying back in March:
7 Likes
High five James 
I’m so happy we are here, sober and having the lifetime adventure ahead us 
3 Likes
Now gonna have to say good night everyone and happiest earth rotation. Tomorrow is Friday 
3 Likes
Haven’t seen that. I guess I need to get myself a copy of the Big Book. Start reading. I have all this down time at work may as well put it to good use. That is some solid advice. I just have to figure out HOW to let go when I’ve been holding on so tight for so many years. My brain understands. My heart? That’s another issue.
2 Likes
Yes, that’s not easy. Have you seen the serenity prayer? That’s another one to think on. Some sound words to help us relax and accept.
Your doing great Cristel. Seriously, no need to rush. You’ve got the rest of your life to get your head around it all
1 Like
If I’ve no need to rush I wonder why I feel the need to hurry up. Something to consider with my therapist on Tuesday. I do know the Serenity prayer. I just need to remember to use it!! Details details…
2 Likes
I totally understand that feeling. My first few weeks were like wow, what do I do? How do I do this? When will it get better.
And to be honest it was people’s posts on here that kept reminding me that it will come in good time, if I was willing to be patient with myself.
But it definitely didn’t stop me from wanting it all then.
4 Likes
Thank you friend. I’m familiar with the prayer I just have to get in the habit of using it on a daily basis! I know what I’m writing in my journal tonight and tomorrow morning…THIS.
4 Likes
Every morning after brushing my teeth I say the serenity prayer and tell myself ‘i will not use today’, it’s worked for this long so I intend to carry on doing it. 
2 Likes
Love that. I have a morning ritual I’ve followed for 9 mths (even with a hangover) and am going to add the prayer tomorrow morning. If it worked for you surely it can work for me!
4 Likes
Christmas gift idea for my husband…
1 Like
I get that. I fully support people finding their own way. Grateful for the space on this forum to share a variety of tools with no judgements.
3 Likes
I get that feeling also but I know why. It stems from how I was raised and working in the food industry in NYC. Everything was always hurry up and get it done now. So it was ingrained in me from very young. It’s still this way, I feel like someone is always on my back rushing me. I’m not saying its the same for you, just that it’s a common trait growing up American…I hope. Otherwise were all crazy nuts.
3 Likes
My mom was like that… Always urging and pushing. If you weren’t 15 minutes early you were late. She’s still a very go go go person. That would explain some of it I think. Thanks for that insight!!
2 Likes