Hi Cristel, I wasn’t able to label myself an alcoholic until after I became committed to giving it up. I still, to this second don’t like or use the term in recovery. To me it wreaks of possible failure or relapse. I get it that that’s part of the point of its usage but it seems to free the individual of responsibility in the event of a relapse. Sort of like a relapse of cancer, it’s not the person’s fault the cancer returned, it just did. I prefer to say I quit. I stopped or I gave it up. If I relapse it’s on me and only me. Not circumstances. I also dont go to meetings, totally not my thing. I’m not knocking any who do and I guess most do, good on them and you if you decide to go that way. What I’ve learned here though is this is a process and there are many avenues for help and help is something we all definitely need. Best wishes, whichever way you approach it.
Ha, always rely on you Chrisy boy! 
Working all weekend I think. If I can get out of bed. Christmas is a coming.
Ha! My daily Stoic app gave me this nugget this morning. 
“While we wait for life, life passes” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Good man that Seneca!
I liked to remind myself that these guys were alive, and roughly the same age, when Jesus Christ was around. Like, they were contemporaries. 
We could have made a religion out of rationality and philosophy but no.
Yeah, I often wonder who’s back pocket was lined to further the philosophy of a chippys kid over some of the most influential men of their time
It’s too logical. People need to believe in a promise of better or more. But I believe religion serves the purpose of morality. I think the world would be full of pirates without it. I’m not saying that’s bad, just much shorter life expectancy…
True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.
Seneca.
Can’t argue with that.
Just give it a try. I know people who call them selves addicts, users, members of the community etc instead of alcoholics. I’ve learned that semantics mean a lot more to some people than others. Took me some time to find my own comfortable spot in the community, to respect my viewpoints and at same time learn from differing ones. There are and will be annoying people but I don’t let that bother me anymore. I get so much. I get to stand this life with my alcoholic brain better, to evolve my spirituality (this has nothing to do with religion) and to share things with my peers. I never wanted to make friends but I’ve made friends too. That is a huge bonus and change in me.
Tell your kids santa is fired in terms of cost efficiency
Those influential men had too much time to think instead of running after their kids…
Edit sorry I was being an a…e
This I asked to be red aloud in my 1st soberversary meeting:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O Divine Master, grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled as to console
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved, as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
And it’s in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it’s in dying that we are born to Eternal Life
Amen
Prayer of Franciscus Assisi
Thanks @ifs @funnydad and @Fireweed for those awesome perspectives. Now that I’ve thought for a minute I think I’m concerned with what other people in my life will think of me if they find out I’m going to meetings. I have always been too concerned with what others think. Probably time to let that go for good. I’ll keep thinking on this as you all have give me great “food” for thought. Appreciate you taking the time!
I was really concerned about that at early sobriety, but not anymore. I still don’t go around declaring that I’m an alcoholic and go to meetings, but might tell it if it comes naturally. It’s no big deal anymore. It’s my way of life and no one else’s problem. And actually I’m surprised how many (usually women) say, hey maybe I should do something about my drinking too.
Makes sense that the longer I stay sober the less I’ll care. I’m still sorting out my own feelings about sobriety and what that means in my head. My brain needs more time I think. 35 days just isn’t enough.
You’re going through an enormous amount of things right now. It’s a real brain & emotional storm. But that’s already a sign of progress. It demands you don’t give up although there are days that you’d just want to do it more than anything. Looking back now I think I have a life now. When I was drinking, I lived a nightmare. So getting sober is worth it 
I posted this on “self identity” thread recently. I like when I get some mileage out of previous posts…
Take your time and become who you are meant to be. I’ve read that as we age, we start to care less about what people think of us. We have less patience for the bullshit and drama. At 52, I’m learning this to be mostly true. Of course there are those in our lives whose opinions will always matter but they shouldnt shape who we are, nor should we go forward with the idea that I can be whoever and however I want because “this is who I am”. Fairness and honesty should always temper who we strive to be. “To thine own self be true” indeed, but take your time to learn who that person really is without a mask, inward or outward…
Words of wisdom. What did you eat?
I guess part of me feels like at 47 shouldn’t I already know who I am?? Such a waste of years and so many hurts I’ve had to navigate over the years have led me to where I am now. I guess it’s all part of me “becoming” who I am. @Fireweed there are emotional strains I haven’t even shared on here so you are so right when you say I am going through an enormous amount of things. I need to be more patient with myself. I feel like I’m finally waking up from the nightmare but I’m not entirely sure what I’m waking up to if that makes sense. Anyway thanks for taking the time to respond. I’m still not used to people I’ve never met investing in me in any way and accepting me.
You know what happened to me? And still is happening. I totally didn’t like myself before. I thought I was a waste of space and the only thing that counts are my kids. Now I dare say that I might have discovered the real me that was hiding somewhere under the addiction. Not perfect, but tolerable and developable.