Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

Motivation
154

February 29~Melody Beattie

You Are Lovable

We go back . . . and back . . . and back . . . through the layers of fear, shame, rage, hurt, and negative incantations until we discover the exuberant, unencumbered, delightful, and lovable child that was, and still is, in us.

— BEYOND CODEPENDENCY

You are lovable. Yes, you.

Just because people haven’t been there for you, just because certain people haven’t been able to show love for you in ways that worked, just because relationships have failed or gone sour does not mean that you’re unlovable.

You’ve had lessons to learn. Sometimes, those lessons have hurt.

Let go of the pain. Open your heart to love.

You are lovable.

You are loved.

Today I will tell myself I’m lovable. I will do this until I believe it.

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155

March 1~Daily Reflections

IT WORKS

It works—it really does.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88

When I got sober I initially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences—experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. Out of their sharing came hope that I too would—and could—“get” a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power—a faith that works under all conditions—is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, openmindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works—it really does.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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156

March 1~Melody Beattie

Letting Go of Anger

In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, it’s an emotion we’re all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, it’s okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . . .

Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. It’s also a beneficial one if it’s not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people.

Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, it’s the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in.

And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesn’t have to be justified. It usually can’t be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle ourselves or our energy.

We don’t have to feel guilty whenever we experience anger. We don’t have to feel guilty.

Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors.

I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely.

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March 2~Daily Reflections

HOPE

Do not be discouraged.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.

Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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March 2~Melody Beattie

Feelings on the Job

I’m furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. I’m so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that do? He still got the promotion.

— ANONYMOUS

Our feelings at work are as important as our feelings in any other area of our life. Feelings are feelings—and wherever we incur them, dealing with them is what helps us move forward and grow.

Not acknowledging our feelings is what keeps us stuck and gives us stomachaches, headaches, and heartburn.

Yes, it can be a challenge to deal with feelings on the job. Sometimes, things can appear useless. One of our favorite tricks to avoid dealing with feelings is telling ourselves it’s useless.

We want to give careful consideration to how we deal with our feelings on our job. It may be appropriate to take our intense feelings to someone not connected to our workplace and sort through them in a safe way.

Once we’ve experienced the intensity of the feelings, we can figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves on the job.

Sometimes, as in any area of our life, feelings are to be felt and accepted. Sometimes, they are pointing to a problem in us, or a problem we need to resolve with someone else.

Sometimes, our feelings are helping to point us in a direction. Sometimes, they’re connected to a message, or a fear: I’ll never be successful. . . . I’ll never get what I want. . . . I’m not good enough. . . .

Sometimes, the solution is a spiritual approach or remedy. Remember, whenever we bring a spiritual approach to any area of our life, we get the benefit.

We won’t know what the lesson is until we summon the courage to stand still and deal with our feelings.

Today, I will consider my feelings at work as important as my feelings at home or anywhere else. I will find an appropriate way to deal with them.

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Hey Mandi, If you go to the play store and update the ST app, you should be able to post pics again. I updated mine yesterday and it’s working. The update was super fast, it only took seconds.

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Thank you so much! It’s kind of nice to copy and paste too so like right now, I can post it from bed and start my day immediately with today’s readings! I’ll still post photos from time to time from my other books though :heart:

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161

March 3~Daily Reflections

OVERCOMING SELF-WILL

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

For so many years my life revolved solely around myself. I was consumed with self in all forms—self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the capacity—if I so choose—to put my pride aside in all situations which arise in my life. Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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162

March 3~Melody Beattie

Accepting Ourselves

While driving one day, a woman’s attention focused on the license plate of the car ahead. The license read: “B-WHO-UR.” How can I? she thought. I don’t know who I am!

Some of us may have felt confused when people encouraged us to be ourselves. How could we know ourselves, or be who we are, when, for years, many of us submerged ourselves in the needs of others?

We do have a self. We’re discovering more about ourselves daily. We’re learning we’re deserving of love.

We’re learning to accept ourselves, as we are for the present moment—to accept our feelings, thoughts, flaws, wants, needs, and desires. If our thoughts or feelings are confused, we accept that too.

To be who we are means we accept our past—our history—exactly as is.

To be ourselves means we are entitled to our opinions and beliefs—for the present moment and subject to change. We accept our limitations and our strengths.

To be who we are means we accept our physical selves, as well as our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves, for now. Being who we are in recovery means we take that acceptance one step further. We can appreciate ourselves and our history.

Being who we are, loving and accepting ourselves, is not a limiting attitude. Accepting and loving ourselves is how we enable growth and change.

Today, I will be who I am. If I’m not yet certain who I am, I will affirm that I have a right to that exciting discovery.

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Agreed! The copy and paste feature is convenient.
Btw… thank you for posting these daily. I often forgot to read the daily reflection on my own and I don’t have access to Melody Beattie. Both are helping to get my day started. :heart:

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I love this reading.

Yes yes yes! I’m still learning this lesson.

This week I’ve had to do more work around this with my family. I still want things my way at times. We had my birthday family lunch gathering yesterday and my sister has never missed it. So I had the expectation she’d go. She and my nephew both live with my mother and when I arrived, they were both there. Hungover from the night before and they had plans to go back out drinking. So, they stayed home.

Alcoholism is a family affair for us. I’m the only one that’s stepped outside of that way of life to find a new one. I understand it, and the fact it’s progressive so I yet again need to ditch my expectations of others. It’s healthy for me to do so.

As much as I’d love to have the sober family life I want, they’d also like to have their drinking buddy back. We just can’t be who the other wants us to be and that’s ok. I have had to do some work around this with my sponsor and reframing things again.

It brought up things from my dad again I was able to release on a new layer so ultimately it was a new opportunity around serenity, peace and love. And knowing their decisions have absolutely NOTHING to do with me, I don’t need to take their active addictions personally.

The work, the learning, the living and the loving continues. :heart:

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Good for you, and happy birthday :partying_face:

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Thank you so much! :heart:

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March 4~Daily Reflections

WEEDING THE GARDEN

The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115

By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort.

Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it’s easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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168

March 4~Melody Beattie

Higher Power as a Source

I’ve learned I can take care of myself and what I can’t do, God will do for me.

—AL-ANON MEMBER

God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn’t mean we’re not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren’t in this alone.

Recovery is not a do-it-yourself project. We don’t have to become overly concerned about changing ourselves. We can do our part, relax, and trust that the changes we’ll experience will be right for us.

Recovery means we don’t have to look to other people as our source to meet our needs. They can help us, but they are not the source.

As we learn to trust the recovery process, we start to understand that a relationship with our Higher Power is no substitute for relationships with people. We don’t need to hide behind religious beliefs or use our relationship with a Higher Power as an excuse to stop taking responsibility for ourselves and taking care of ourselves in relationships. But we can tap into and trust a Power greater than ourselves for the energy, wisdom, and guidance to do that.

Today, I will look to my Higher Power as the source for all my needs, including the changes I want to make in my recovery.

Quoted from the app The Language of Letting Go.
Find recovery resources at www.hazeldenbettyford.org.

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March 5~Daily Reflections

A LIFELONG TASK

“But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow ‘take it easy?’ That’s what I want to know.”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26

I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, “Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?” Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial “kid in a candy store.” I couldn’t wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months’ work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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March 5~Melody Beattie

Be Who You Are

When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I can’t have my feelings. Can’t have my wants and needs. Can’t have my history. Can’t do the things I want, feel the feelings I’m feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me.

— ANONYMOUS

Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don’t be yourself.

Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don’t need to be anyone else.

The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.

We may think others won’t like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.

But, when we relax and accept ourselves people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. We’re fun to be around.

If others don’t appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control us and our behavior?

Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all we’re meant to be, and it’s enough. It’s fine.

Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.

Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.

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March 6~Daily Reflections

THE IDEA OF FAITH

Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

The idea of faith is a very large chunk to swallow when fear, doubt and anger abound in and around me. Sometimes just the idea of doing something different, something I am not accustomed to doing, can eventually become an act of faith if I do it regularly, and do it without debating whether it’s the right thing to do. When a bad day comes along and everything is going wrong, a meeting or a talk with another drunk often distracts me just enough to persuade me that everything is not quite as impossible, as overwhelming as I had thought. In the same way, going to a meeting or talking to a fellow alcoholic are acts of faith; I believe I’m arresting my disease. These are ways I slowly move toward faith in a Higher Power.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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March 6~Melody Beattie

Peace

Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I’ll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.

Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.

Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.

Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.

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March 7~Daily Reflections

THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS

Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35

The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God’s will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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