The difficulties of life are intended to make us better not bitter.
A positive attitude can overcome most daily troubles. So wake up and set your mind to it, first thing every day.
Walk in Dry Places
Who pushes my buttons?
Personal Relations
AA old-timers would be mystified today to hear program members talk about people âpushing their buttons.â (They canât get your goat if they donât know where it is tied) This expression wasnât around when the early AA members pulled themselves out of the swamp and began their long journey to sobriety.
But they had their buttons pushed aplenty. Dr. Bob, treating alcoholics at St. Thomas Hospital; heard snide comments from other physicians who resented giving bed space to drunks. Bill W. struggling to launch a worldwide movement, took most every alcoholic, then and now, gets some heavy kidding from the world of drinkers.
What is the real problem in these instances? Are others pushing our buttons, or do we set ourselves up for this by being sensitive and vulnerable? Nobody could push our buttons if we didnât have buttons to push.
We no longer have to worry about button-pushers if we accept them as they are, realizing that we donât need their approval and canât really be hurt by anything they do or say. Our serenity in the face of such problems may actually serve to attract people to AA.
Nobody can push my buttons unless I let them. Today Iâll be serene and clam no matter what others say and do. Thanks to the program, Iâll not worry about certain individuals who try to get under my skin.
Youâll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind.
âIrish Proverb
Time is the greatest gift of all.
âCited in Even More ofâŚThe Best of BITS & PIECES
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
âJohn Wooden
Walk In Dry Places
Avoiding emotional whirlpools
Serenity
If we were rattling down a rough river, we would try to steer away from whirlpools and rocky rapids. Living each day requires the same alertness.
Weâre asking for trouble if we drift into malicious discussions about other people⌠even those who seem to deserve it. Weâre also sliding into rocky rapids if we get into supercharged arguments about political and religious issues.
How do we avoid touchy situations that can lead to violent arguments or terrible breakdowns in personal relationships? We can begin by recognizing that weâre not on this earth to judge, manipulate, or control other people. Weâll do well today to keep our own performance up to a good standard.
We can also respond correctly to people who seem hopelessly wrong. Borrowing an idea from one Twelve Step program, we can detach from such people with love, even if circumstances require continuing contact with them. At whatever cost, we must avoid emotional whirlpools and rocky rapids in life.
Looking ahead at the things might happen today. Iâll adjust my thinking for situations that could be troublesome or destructive. I will try especially hard to avoid trouble with my fellow workers.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
âPaul Boese
The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of.
âAmerican Proverb
You canât help getting older, but you donât have to get old.
âGeorge Burns
Walk in Dry Places
The Good that I do
Action
Why do we hold back when weâre offered the opportunity to help others or to do something unusually kind? Why is it that many people are reluctant to give of themselves unless rewarded with recognition or praise?
We may hold back because we do not understand that any good action always brings its own reward. Despite Shakespeareâs timeless saying, the good we do is not âinterred with our bonesâ⌠it does survive, now and in the future.
Weâve learned in Twelve Step programs that itâs not really satisfying to work only for recognition and praise. There also has to be a confident feeling that our efforts are contributing to a large good with a worthwhile purpose. Thatâs what makes AA so special to people who are completely devoted to it⌠we know that anything done for AA makes the world a better place.
We should also know that those who can help others are fortunate, well-favored people. Others may want to help, but lack the tools. We have the tools to give the help that changes lives---- and the world.
The good that I do today is a treasure Iâll always possess. I need not fear the act of letting my higher self take over and guide me.
âItâs what you learn after you know it all that counts.â
âJohn Wooden
âPain is an experience. Suffering is a choice.â
âJeff Alexander
âToday is a new day, a new chance to make a change, to make a difference.â
âUnknown
Each Day a New Beginning
Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways. It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting her to respond kindly also. It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us. It will help us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them. But perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as women; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated. Many of us had little experience with feeling positive before the turning point, recovery.
Recovery is offering us a new lease on life every moment. We are learning new behaviors, and we are learning that with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible. It is energizing, focusing on the good points of others, knowing that their good points donât detract from our own.
In the past, we may have secretly hated other womenâs strengths because we felt inferior. We are free from that hate now, if we choose to be. A strength we can each nurture is gratitude for being helped by, and privy to, the strengths of our friends and acquaintances.
Bad points get worse with attention. My good points will gain strength.
Spiritual growth results from absorbing and digesting truth and putting it to practice in daily life.
âWhite Eagle
There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
âJohn Andrew Holmes
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
âCarl Sandburg
When we listen, God speaks and guides.
âPaul K. McAfee
Walk in Dry Places
When am I manipulative?
Personal relations.
Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we donât really feelâŚ. Giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something weâre likely to do because of our jealousy.
Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. IT is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.
The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence othersâ actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honest. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.
I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.
The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE.