When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. — Ernest Hemingway
It’s hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we’re still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, “How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?” Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we’re totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don’t even agree with the people we’re listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll listen to what the person says.
I can spend this moment making it the best moment yet with fearlessness, trust, courage, confidence, faith and love or I can waste it with doubt, anxiety, worry, regret, anger, fear, distress and hurt.
Knowing that whichever way I choose
determines the experiences I will have, I choose to use the opportunity of each moment to live my life to the fullest, always choosing love.
–Carol A James
Forgiveness is a not a gift we give to the other person, rather, God’s gift to us.
Manipulative behavior – a character defect I must remain vigilant about. I always remember what Richard Rohr reminds us about Jesus: Jesus said, Follow me. He did not say, Worship me. When I share ESH from my life and from my heart, I feel like I am offering someone an invitation to walk with me, to try this 12-step way on for size. I grew up with an untreated Al-Anon parent, so I have seen, and unfortunately learned, some of the worst of these ‘influential’ tactics. Grateful that the steps reveal the ruse behind the entire dysfunctional dynamic, and put the responsibility back with each sovereign individual in consultation with their Higher Power. It seems so simple now that I’ve gone through this work. I can’t unsee it! Blessed.
There is a saying that “listening to gossip is gossip”. How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip.
Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It’s possible we still keep our ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also “shake the tree” if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express.
The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have spiritual growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners.
Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of an ill will.
Let’s beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let’s tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire.
It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers.
Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.
–Shirley MacLaine
Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective. Maybe you don’t need to change what you’re looking at. You just need to change where you stand.
–Melody Beattie
One step at a time. That’s how you will get where you are going. You are being led, each step of the way.
–Melody Beattie
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller
There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it. And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await.
Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we’ll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life. We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves. We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing.
We can let our experiences wash over us. Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent. It prevents us from the thrill, the gifts offered in this present moment. But they are there.
We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that right now, all is well. All is always well. Life is full of mystery and wonder and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder.
I am moving forward; we all are. I am on target. I am participating in a glorious, wonderful drama. Let me jump for joy. I have been specially blessed.
I noticed my hopelessness was because I had lost my freedom of choice.—AA member
By doing a Fourth Step, we start to see ourselves more clearly. We see how we’ve acted against ourselves. Soon, we hear a little voice inside telling us to stop before we act. “Are you sure you want to say or do that?” the little voice asks. Then we make a choice: we do something the same old way, or we try a new way. One part of us will always want to do things the old, sick way. This is natural. But we’re getting stronger every day. Our spirit wants to learn new ways so we can be honest and loving. Sometimes we don’t know how. But we still have a choice. We can ask for help.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me listen to the little voice inside that helps me see that I have choices.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make a choice between old ways and new ways of acting. I will call my sponsor this evening to talk about my choices.
Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. — Hugh Prather
Before recovery, we saw only a blurry picture of ourselves, like we were looking through an out-of-focus camera lens. We couldn’t see the good in ourselves because we wouldn’t look close enough.
Step Four helps us look more closely. We see a picture of ourselves, with our good points and our faults. We don’t like everything we see. But we can’t change until we accept ourselves as we are.
Then we can start getting ready to change.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see the good in me and love myself.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make a list of four of my good points and four of my faults. Am I getting to have my Higher Power remove these defects of character?
