Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

Motivation
506

July 2~Language Of Letting Go

Who Knows Best?

Others do not know what’s best for us.

We do not know what’s best for others.

It is our job to determine what’s best for ourselves.

“I know what you need.”. . . “I know what you should do.” . . . “Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now.”

These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.

Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us—such as in a sponsorship relationship—we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.

A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them—that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.

To trust ourselves to be able to discover—through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error—is a great gift we can give ourselves.

Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.

3 Likes
507

July 2~More Language Of Letting Go

It’s good for your heart

“I know I’ve got some emotions up, just brewing right beneath the surface,” Jake said one day. “I’m edgy,
irritable, and definitely not centered. But I don’t want to look. I don’t want to go into the emotions. I don’t like feelings. Whenever I give into them. I end up feeling like a piece of cooked spagetti- for days.”

Emotions can take a lot out of us. Feeling them, whether it’s anger, fear, or sadness, can leave us
exhausted and drained.

Not feeling our emotions, however, can keep us edgy, irritable, and off-balance. Not feeling our feelings for an extended time can drive us to acting out, whether that means overeating, obsessing, staying in bed and hiding from the world, or staring at the television every night until we pass out.

Be gentle with yourself. Don’t force it. But don’t run away from your feelings, either. You might feel like
cooked spagetti for a while, but what’s really softening up is your heart.

God, help me face and feel any feelings.

3 Likes
508

I needed this one in a big way today. I can feel how much my body is suffering by me trying to keep it all together. What I’m actually doing is stuffing my emotions down and my body is keeping score. My logical mind and my heart are in disagreement. My mind says they don’t serve the situation or others best right now. My heart wants to feel everything deeply and pour it all out. It’s a battle for sure right now. :heart:

3 Likes
509

This is a tough one for me too.

I want to do all the work of resolving my anger and getting to the place of peace. My problem is I want to do it very “quickly and efficiently “, only that’s not how it works.

Finding peace is a steady and careful process I think. Finding the patience is one of my challenges.

One day at a time.

4 Likes
510

July 3~Daily Reflections

EXPERIENCE: THE BEST TEACHER

Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

Some say that experience is the best teacher, but I believe that experience is the only teacher. I have been able to learn of God’s love for me only by the experience of my dependence on that love. At first I could not be sure of His direction in my life, but now I see that if I am to be bold enough to ask for His guidance, I must act as if He has provided it. I frequently ask God to help me remember that He has a path for me.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

4 Likes
511

July 3~Language Of Letting Go

Directness

So much of our communication can reflect our need to control. We say what we think others want to hear. We try to keep others from getting angry, feeling afraid, going away, or disliking us. But our need to control traps us into feeling like victims and martyrs.

Freedom is just a few words away. Those words are our truths. We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind.

Let go of your need to control. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming, or cruel when we speak our truths. Neither do we need to hide our light. Let go, and freely be who you are.

Today, I will be honest with myself and others, knowing that if I don’t, my truth will come out some other way.

5 Likes
512

July 3~Today’s Gift

You are here for a purpose. There is not a duplicate of you in the whole wide world; there never has been,
there never will be. You were brought here now to fill a certain need. Take time to think that over. --Lou
Austin

No other person is exactly like you or me. No one can do exactly what we can, or touch another person in exactly the way we can. Out of all the people who could have been created, we were chosen to be a part of this time and place.

We are needed to fulfill a plan, in our families as well as in our relationships. Knowing we have unique
abilities, we will spend less time feeling jealous of what others can do.

Through our dreams and yearnings, God shows us who we can be. It is up to us to have the courage to
follow that dream with action.

What unique gift can I offer the world today?

4 Likes
513

Oh yea that truth will come out another way.

I need to think about that and find the pathways to let that truth out while still being kind and acting with dignity with those around me and those I love.

I have a lot of work and learning to do on that.

My best friend tells me she sees me use what she calls the 2x4 method. I give and give and teach and model and love. And then, when I have “had it” with that person, I metaphorically whack them.

Unfortunately that has been fairly effective for me, but not so kind for them. And in the end I feel guilt and anger at myself for following this path.

And I know it comes from an unhealthy and unkind model in my life. Probably need to seek some better models from whom to learn.

I wish you all peace today.

5 Likes
514

Oh I do understand that bottling up until I explode! I can see now I get that from my mom. We’ve had a tendency to say nothing until we blow up from all the pressure.

I have learned to do much more release valve work along the way to help that, but it’s progress over perfection. Just last night my sponsor was talking to me about my emotions & my body currently building up pressure from all the things I have going on and we worked through some ways I can relieve that pressure now so I don’t get to the place of exploding as it could happen for me when life gets super life-y. And it’s definitely life-y right now.

Boundaries, open conversations, letting myself feel things and processing those emotions, being authentic and doing things like self care, releasing things on many levels and replenishing my soul are all an important part of this path for me. It’s helping to keep my side of the street clean. Each of those things are like the brush strokes that keep the dirt from building up.

I keep my sponsor especially close during these times to make sure I’m continuing to do things in a new way and it really helps me to keep myself more on the middle of the beam so I don’t fall off. :heart:

3 Likes
515

July 4~Daily Reflections

A NATURAL FAITH

. . . deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55

I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eating and sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

4 Likes
516

July 4~Language of Letting Go

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy—their attitudes, beliefs, pain—on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God’s creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that is there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating.

3 Likes
517

July 4~NA Just For Today

NA Just For Today

Conflict

“We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running
from them.”

Basic Text, p.87

From time to time, we all experience conflicts. It may be that we just can’t get along with that new coworker. Maybe our friends are driving us crazy. Or perhaps our partner isn’t living up to our expectations.

Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts.

When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return for further discussion when we have calmed down. We can’t avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.

Conflict is a part of life. We can’t go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved. When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest.

We didn’t get clean to keep running from life-and in recovery, we don’t have to run anymore.

Just For Today: The principles my program has given me are sufficient to guide me through any situation.
I will strive to confront conflict in a healthy way.

2 Likes
518

Deep down I have the belief in the power of the human spirit. And I have seen that power accomplish amazing things in large and small ways. I deeply believe that every human is doing the best they can in any given situation. I do not always agree with what they are doing, but this viewpoint helps me start from a place of non- judgement. I am not always successful in this but it has been helpful.

Deep down I have not yet been able to truly see or understand or accept the concept of a higher power. Many things hold me back from this. I am open to it, but I am also stuck with so many hard questions. I think and read and write about this regularly.

The power of the human spirit is what I see in the connections that people make and have, and the power to make change and grow and learn is enhanced in those connections.

I’m grateful that people have and continue to figure it out. I’m grateful I have my eyes open enough to see the good in most situations and to see the danger in many as well.

Thank you for posting this reading. It’s making me think. Peace!

6 Likes
519

This morning was told that I didn’t clean kitchen counter off the way he wants. Laundry was not in the cycles and water level he wants. I didn’t make the hummingbird food like he
Wants. Life is hard!

2 Likes
520

Hugs!! I’ve been there and it’s not fun a fun time. :heart:

1 Like
521

July 5~Daily Reflections

A NEW DIRECTION

Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. . . . Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all our activities.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 45, 85

I hear talk of the “weak-willed” alcoholic, but I am one of the strongest-willed people on earth! I now know that my incredible strength of will is not enough to save my life. My problem is not one of “weakness,” but rather of direction. When I, without falsely diminishing myself, accept my honest limitations and turn to God’s guidance, my worst faults become my greatest assets. My strong will, rightly directed, keeps me working until the promises of the program become my daily reality.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

2 Likes
522

July 5~Language Of Letting Go

Survivor Guilt

We begin recovering. We begin taking care of ourselves. Our recovery program starts to work in our life, and we begin to feel good about ourselves.

Then it hits. Guilt.

Whenever we begin to experience the fullness and joy of life, we may feel guilty about those we’ve left behind—those not recovering, those still in pain. This survivor guilt is a symptom of codependency.

We may think about the husband we’ve divorced who is still drinking. We may dwell on a child, grown or adult, still in pain. We may get a phone call from a nonrecovering parent who relates his or her misery to us. And we feel pulled into their pain.

How can we feel so happy, so good, when those we love are still in misery? Can we really break away and lead satisfying lives, despite their circumstances? Yes, we can.

And yes, it hurts to leave behind those we love. But keep moving forward anyway. Be patient. Other people’s recovery is not our job. We cannot make them recover. We cannot make them happy.

We may ask why we were chosen for a fuller life. We may never know the answer. Some may catch up in their own time, but their recovery is not our business. The only recovery we can truly claim is our own.

We can let go of others with love, and love ourselves without guilt.

Today, I am willing to work through my sadness and guilt. I will let myself be healthy and happy, even though someone I love has not chosen the same path.

2 Likes
523

Yes, when I accepted that I was not able to control my drinking, and when I asked for help, then I began this amazing journey.

And yes, being strong willed does not work. I was so strong willed about being able to manage my drinking that I engaged with the disease and made myself that much sicker.

To be strong and wise…. Now there’s the ticket!

5 Likes
524

The only recovery we can claim is our own.

Yes, and that line can be applied to so many things in our lives.

But also, we can help others and anytime we help
Others we learn more and are out of our own heads, even just for a few minutes. That helps me with my journey too.

4 Likes
525

I love these insights, thank you for sharing