Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

Motivation
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July 5~Walk In Dry Places

What brings change?

Inventory.

In human affairs, vast changes sometimes take place almost spontaneously, bringing on revolutionary upheavals. What brings about such change?

These visible changes, for good or bad, occur because people come to accept new ideas. It’s easy to see how this works in one person’s life, but it works in the same way with socities.

The 12 Step movement is a most dramatic form of such change. We’ve become effective because we
have new forms of thinking to replace the old destructive forms that caused so much harm. Our
movement will grow and develop only as long as we retain the new ways of thinging that first brought
about this change.

I’ll hold to the idea that my life can only be as good as the thoughts I choose.

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I’m reminded today that only by doing the work is there real change. It’s not enough to know, I must take action also and do things differently.

I also love the idea of progress over perfection. I wanted to be so perfect and look like I had all my shit together always. I can still have that tendency. But today I can also be real and authentic when connecting with others and letting myself be seen. It’s liberating! The progress in that is lovely and it’s absolutely not perfect, but it’s growing and my healthy relationships grow by doing this as well.

I am grateful for this. And for slower days when I can refill my cup. For the days I can connect to me a little more. Because these days are ones that actually often matter more than all the busy ones doing all the “stuff” I think I need to. I’m grateful. :heart:

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July 6~Daily Reflections

IDENTIFYING FEAR . . .

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76

When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This “evil and corroding thread” is the root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of others’ opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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July 6~Language Of Letting Go

Step Seven

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

— STEP SEVEN OF AL-ANON

In the Sixth and Seventh Steps of the program, we become willing to let go of our defects of character —issues, behaviors, old feelings, unresolved grief, and beliefs that are blocking us from the joy that is ours. Then we ask God to take them from us.

Isn’t that simple? We don’t have to contort ourselves to make ourselves change. We don’t have to force change. For once, we don’t have to “do it ourselves.” All we have to do is strive for an attitude of willingness and humility. All we have to do is ask God for what we want and need, and then trust God to do for us that which we cannot do and do not have to do for ourselves.

We do not have to watch with bated breath for how and when we shall change. This is not a self-help program. In this miraculous and effective program that has brought about recovery and change for millions, we become changed by working the Steps.

Today, God, help me surrender to recovery and to the process by which I become changed. Help me focus on the Step I need. Help me do my part, relax, and allow the rest to happen.

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I am no longer living in fear

Most of the time.

Always going to be working on this one. Childhood trauma and the big scary world in which we live has me highly programmed for protecting myself. Unfortunately this has been a pattern of ruminating, self-medicating, and various self-soothing strategies.

As I keep working on recovery, and maybe just getting older, I am working to reduce fear in my life and accept that I deserve peace.

Peace? Really? Do I get some?

Yes, and for that I am grateful.

Thank you for sharing these readings.

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You do! I see some of the peace you’ve been experiencing through your posts and it makes me happy. Grateful to be on this journey with you.

I’ve been having moments of peace in my life and it feels very different after being so accustomed to fear and chaos. I question whether it’s due to all my recovery work or just age. Probably both. I’m grateful for these moments and hope for more of them.

We all deserve peace and serenity!

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July 7~Daily Reflections

. . . AND LETTING GO OF IT

. . . primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76

Peace is possible for me only when I let go of expectations. When I’m trapped in thoughts about what I want and what should be coming to me, I’m in a state of fear or anxious anticipation and this is not conducive to emotional sobriety. I must surrender – over and over – to the reality of my dependence on God, for then I find peace, gratitude and spiritual security.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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July 7~Language Of Letting Go

Getting It All Out

Let yourself have a good gripe session.

—WOMEN, SEX, AND ADDICTION
BY CHARLOTTE DAVIS KASL, PH.D.

Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it’s not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn’t need to complain.

What does that mean? We won’t have feelings? We won’t feel overwhelmed? We won’t need to blow off steam or work through some not-so-pleasant, not-so-perfect, and not-so-pretty parts of life?

We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don’t have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.

Getting it all out doesn’t mean we need to be victims. It doesn’t mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn’t mean we won’t go on to set boundaries. It doesn’t mean we won’t take care of ourselves.

Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.

Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side—the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.

We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. “Together” people have their not-so-together moments. Sometimes, falling apart—getting it all out—is how we get put back together.

Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.

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Oh goodness yes.

I’m reading some Buddhist thinking in connection to this in my real life too. Attachment to expectations is my bugaboo.

I’m attached to expectations I still seem to hold for my parents. It is not helpful to me. One of them has been dead for a long time and certainly is not going to change. The other is elderly and the changes ahead are not relieving me of my unrealistic expectations.

My mind is often ruminating on how wrong it all went. So much that I have discounted what went well as unimportant in view of the damage that was willfully done to us as their children.

I’m a mother too. An imperfect one for sure. And my grown sons have turned out well despite my mistakes. Why can’t my mother find joy in us like I find in my sons?

How to let go of my expectations for my parents…. It is a goal for me to help me find peace.

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I love this.

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July 8~Daily Reflections

AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM

The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76

When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean.

I am especially aware of this Step because I’m now able to be useful to God and to my fellows. I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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July 8~Language Of Letting Go

Going with the Flow

Go with the flow.

Let go of fear and your need to control. Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away, as you dive into the river of the present moment, the river of your life, your place in the universe.

Stop trying to force the direction. Try not to swim against the current, unless it is necessary for your survival. If you’ve been clinging to a branch at the riverside, let go.

Let yourself move forward. Let yourself be moved forward.

Avoid the rapids when possible. If you can’t, stay relaxed. Staying relaxed can take you safely through fierce currents. If you go under for a moment, allow yourself to surface naturally. You will.

Appreciate the beauty of the scenery, as it is. See things with freshness, with newness. You shall never pass by today’s scenery again!

Don’t think too hard about things. The flow is meant to be experienced. Within it, care for yourself. You are part of the flow, an important part. Work with the flow. Work within the flow. Thrashing about isn’t necessary. Let the flow help you care for yourself. Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time.

You can trust the flow, and your part in it.

Today, I will go with the flow.

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I really loved this reading today.

Yesterday was a busy day from the second my eyes popped open until they closes at night. But, it was a good day.

Going with the flow allowed for that. For not having any real expectations of what it “should” be. Without trying to control the experiences, I just did the next right thing as each moment unfolded. And it was beautiful. I surrendered and didn’t try to control anyone or anything.

I’ve had to practice surrendering a LOT this week. Like, a LOT, especially when it comes to my grandmother. So I was able to be fully in peace when I went in yesterday as I was no longer trying to fight the things I can not change.

After I left the nursing home yesterday, I went to a new grocery store so I could check it out and report back to Gramma-we love this types of things. While there, I actually ran into someone very unexpected. My ex of 15 years cheated on me for the last 4 years with this woman and they got married 6 months after it finally ended. We stopped when we saw each other, said hello and actually had a very nice chat for 10-15 minutes in the middle of the very busy store.

Because of the work I’ve done, my son (aka her stepson) and our families are not put in the middle of any drama because we can truly be ok now and it’s beautiful honestly. What I once felt deeply for anger and resentments are truly gone because of my recovery work. My mother said she has no idea how I do it-I said because I’ve done this work and I don’t honestly miss that life even a little. I’m exactly where I am today because of my past and letting things be what they are instead of trying to control them. That whole situation right there from years ago was actually a perfect example of the fact that trying to control people and their actions never works out. I was just depressed, miserable, shut down and drunk, trying to control things I had no control over. All I could have controlled was me, my actions and what I allowed in my life and I didn’t do that because I was too focused on trying to control them.

Today I am happy, joyous and free. As life gets life-y, all I can do is go with the flow, take the next right step in that moment and it brings me true freedom.

I’m SO grateful I have a program of recovery that helps me with this today. :heart:

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So beautifully expressed. Your words were so encouraging. Thank you for sharing.

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July 9~Daily Reflections

I AM AN INSTRUMENT

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 70

The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.

God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of “love and service.”

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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July 9~Language Of Letting Go

Overspending and Underspending

I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It made me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him.

—ANONYMOUS

I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn’t even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn’t about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr.

—ANONYMOUS

Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out-of-control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.

Underspending can leave us feeling victimized too.

There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self-esteem and love for ourselves.

Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what’s going on inside me. If I am underspending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that’s necessary and what I want.

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July 10~Daily Reflections

TOWARD PEACE AND SERENITY

. . . when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74

When situations arise which destroy my serenity, pain often motivates me to ask God for clarity in seeing my part in the situation. Admitting my powerlessness, I humbly pray for acceptance. I try to see how my character defects contributed to the situation. Could I have been more patient? Was I intolerant? Did I insist on having my own way? Was I afraid? As my defects are revealed, I put self-reliance aside and humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. The situation may not change, but as I practice exercising humility, I enjoy the peace and serenity which are the natural benefits of placing my reliance in a power greater than myself.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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July 10~Language Of Letting Go

Ending Relationships

It takes courage and honesty to end a relationship—with friends, loved ones, or a work relationship.

Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the relationship die from lack of attention rather than risk ending it. Sometimes, it may appear easier to let the other person take responsibility for ending the relationship.

We may be tempted to take a passive approach. Instead of saying how we feel, what we want or don’t want, or what we intend to do, we may begin sabotaging the relationship, hoping to force the other person to do the difficult work.

Those are ways to end relationships, but they are not the cleanest or the easiest ways.

As we walk this path of self-care, we learn that when it is time to end a relationship, the easiest way is one of honesty and directness. We are not being loving, gentle, or kind by avoiding the truth, if we know the truth.

We are not sparing the other person’s feelings by sabotaging the relationship instead of accepting the end or the change, and doing something about it. We are prolonging and increasing the pain and discomfort—for the other person and ourselves.

If we don’t know, if we are on the fence, it is more loving and honest to say that.

If we know it is time to terminate a relationship, say that.

Endings are never easy, but endings are not made easy by sabotage, indirectness, and lying about what we want and need to do.

Say what you need to say, in honesty and love, when it is time. If we are trusting and listening to ourselves, we will know what to say and when to say it.

Today, I will remember that honesty and directness will increase my self-esteem. God, help me let go of my fear about owning my power to take care of myself in all my relationships.

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July 10~Walk In Dry Places

Foolish Risks

Maintaining the New Way

There are only a few practices that really must be considered unacceptable for recovering people. AA
even concedes, for example, that there’s nothing wrong with having lunch with a friend in a far if one’s
house is in order.

Under no circumstances, however, should recovering people do anything that puts their sobriety at risk.
The stakes are TOO HIGH. Recovery is to precious. The new life is to important
.
What practices might come under the heading of risky? A dangerous one, common among young and old alcoholics alike, is returning to the old crowd that’s still drinking and drugging.

It’s risky to associate with our former drinking lifestyles, and we’ll recognize this if we’re working our program.

Part of the honesty I’ll practice today is knowing my own motives for everything I do.

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July 10~Each Day a New Beginning

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt

We are competent women. We made a wise choice for ourselves when we decided to recover. Each day
that we continue working this program our Spirits are strengthened. And our gifts will multiply.

Feeling inferior can become a habit. Being passive and feeling inferior go hand-in-hand, and they prepare us for becoming dependent on alcohol, pills, food, and people. We didn’t understand, instinctively, that we are just who we’re meant to be. We grew up believing we were not smart enough, not pretty enough, not capable enough. We grew up too distant from the source of our real strength.

How wonderful for us that we found the program! How lucky we are to have, for the taking, all the strength we’ll ever need to face any situation, to handle any problem, to resolve any personal relationship conflict. Feeling inferior can be only a bad memory. The choice is ours. The program promises a better life. The Steps promise the strength to move forward. Our friends promise us outstretched hands.

I will look forward to the challenges of today with hope and strength and know that I am able to meet
them.

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