Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

Motivation
688

August 8~Touchstones

I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It’s amazing how it cheers
one up to 'shred oranges and scrub the floor. --D. H. Lawrence

Focusing on pain or having difficulties can put us in a rut, and we neglect the other things in our lives. A
simple task like making marmalade can be a brief vacation. We change our thought patterns when we
change activities.

The simple action of doing something pleasant might inject a new feeling into our outlook. Sharing a problem with a friend may be all we need to see it more clearly or let it go. Moving from busy physical activity to a few moments of quiet contemplation creates an inner balance. A problem that seems overwhelming at night may be met with new insight and new energy after a night’s rest.

We don’t have to continue feeling like victims of circumstance or remain stuck with a nagging problem.

Just like changing the subject of a conversation, we can change the subject of our attention for a time.
When we do, we regain our sense of hope and change our responses.

Today, I will give myself a break when I become caught or obsessed with a problem.

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689

August 8~Each Day a New Beginning

I’m a most lucky and thankful woman. Lucky and thankful for each morning I wake up. For three
wonderful daughters and one son. For an understanding and very loving husband with whom I’ve shared 52 blessed years, all in good health.
–Thelma Elliott

Gratitude for what’s been offered us in our lives softens the harsh attitudes we occasionally harbor.

Life presents us with an assortment of blessings; some bring us immediate joy; some invite tears; others foster fear. What we need help in understanding is that all experiences are meant for our good, all bless us in some manner. If we are able to see the big picture, we’d greet all situations, large and small, with a thankful heart.

It’s so very easy to wish away our lives, never finding satisfaction with our families, our jobs, and our
friends. The more we find fault with life, the more fault we are guaranteed to find. Negative attitudes
attract negative experiences; while positive attitudes lighten whatever burden we may be learning from.

The years pass so quickly. Our chances to enjoy life pass quickly too. We can grab what comes our way
and be grateful. We are never certain that this experience offered now might not be our last.
Each morning I awake is blessing number one.

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690

August 8~NA Just For Today

Responsible Recovery

“We accept responsibility for our problems and see that we’re equally responsible for our solutions.”
Basic Text, p.94

Some of us, well accustomed to leaving our personal responsibilities to others, may attempt the same behavior in recovery. We quickly find out it doesn’t work.

For instance, we are considering making a change in our lives, so we call our sponsor and ask what we
should do. Under the guise of seeking direction, we are actually asking our sponsor to assume
responsibility for making decisions about our life. Or maybe we’ve been short with someone at a meeting,
so we ask that person’s best friend to make our apologies for us. Perhaps we’ve imposed on a friend
several times in the last month to cover our service commitment.

Could it be that we’ve asked a friend to analyze our behavior and identify our shortcomings, rather than taking our own personal inventory?

Recovery is something that has to be worked for. It isn’t going to be handed to us on a silver platter, nor
can we expect our friends or our sponsor to be responsible for the work we must do ourselves.

We recover by making our own decisions, doing our own service, and working our own steps. By doing it for
ourselves, we receive the rewards.

Just for today: I accept responsibility for my life and my recovery

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691

August 9~Daily Reflections

“. . . OF ALL PERSONS WE HAD HARMED”

. . . and became willing to make amends to them all.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 77

One of the key words in the Eighth Step is the word all. I am not free to select a few names for the list and to disregard others. It is a list of all persons I have harmed. I can see immediately that this Step entails forgiveness because if I’m not willing to forgive someone, there is little chance I will place his name on the list. Before I placed the first name on my list, I said a little prayer: “I forgive anyone and everyone who has ever harmed me at any time and under any circumstances.”

It is well for me to contemplate a small, but very significant, two-letter word every time the Lord’s Prayer is said. The word is as. I ask, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” In this case, as means, “in the same manner.” I am asking to be forgiven in the same manner that I forgive others. As I say this portion of the prayer, if I am harboring hatred or resentment, I am inviting more resentment, when I should be calling on the spirit of forgiveness.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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692

August 9~Language Of Letting Go

Asking for What We Need

Decide what it is you want and need, then go to the person you need it from and ask for it.

Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next.

Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.

We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need.

But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind-set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.

We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we’ll never get what we want, or anticipating the “fight” we’ll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we’re demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn’t exist except in our mind.

Or we may get so worked up that we don’t ask—or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want.

Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the answer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next.

Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn’t exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle.

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693

August 9~Walk In Dry Places

Confidence In the next phase.

Assurance

“God has carried me this far. I will not be let down now.” These are brave words of recovering people
who find themselves facing new doubts and fears.
There’s nothing unrealistic about this attitude. Those of us in 12 Step programs and beneficiaries of a
miraculous chain of events that brought our movement into being. Our responsibility is to continue carrying the message by proving how the program works.

It’s our success in dealing with life’s problems that eventually attracts others to our fellow ship. The best proof of how our spiritual program works is showing how our Higher Power continues to solve problems in our lives.

We don’t always know what the next phase in our lies will bring. We can only know that with God, all
sorts of wonderful things continue to be possible.

Though I can’t see around the corner, I’ll know today that my Higher Power will guide me smoothly and
safely through the next phase.

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694

August 9~Each Day a New Beginning

For me, stopping smoking wasn’t a matter of will power, but being will-less. --Joan Gilbertson

Most of us have struggled, willfully, with untold numbers of addictions; liquor, uppers, downers, sugar, chocolate, cigarettes, men. The more we became determined to control our use or to abstain, the greater the compulsion felt for one drink, one bite, one puff. Giving in completely was the turning point.

This recovery program helps each of us find relief from our primary addiction once we humble ourselves, accept our powerlessness, and ask for help. It can help us equally effectively, every day, with any problem we are willfully trying to control.

Is a family member causing us grief? Is a co-worker creating anxiety? Has a close friend pulled away? We expend so much energy trying to manage outcomes! In most cases, our attempt to control will invite even more resistance.

The program offers the way out of any frustrating situation. We can be mindful of our powerlessness and cherish the opportunities offered by our higher power. We can turn over whatever our problem to God and quietly, trustingly, anticipate the resolution. It’s guaranteed.

How much easier I will find life’s experiences if I will let go of my willful ways. The right outcome in all
cases will more quickly surface.

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695

August 9~Today’s Gift

What is without periods of rest will not endure. --Ovid

When we are tired, we need to stop and give ourselves time to rest. Sometimes we think we can’t spare the time. But without rest, all our activity soon becomes a burden and there is no joy in it.

Animals know it is necessary to take time to rest. This is part of the rhythm of life: activity and rest, effort and relaxation.

Our bad moods are often our body’s way of telling us we need rest. When we were little, we needed naps.
Somehow, we forget to allow ourselves this right when we are older. We are wise to remember we never outgrow this need for rest to make the day go better.

When we return to our day refreshed, we have given ourselves and all those around us the gift of
ourselves at our best.

What can I do better when I am rested?

(Perfect for my first day of vacation! :partying_face:)

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696

August 10~Daily Reflections

REDOUBLING OUR EFFORTS

To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways,
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 77

As I continue to grow in sobriety, I become more aware of myself as a person of worth. In the process, I am better able to see others as persons, and with this comes the realization that these were people whom I had hurt in my drinking days. I didn’t just lie, I lied about Tom. I didn’t just cheat, I cheated Joe. What were seemingly impersonal acts, were really personal affronts, because it was people—people of worth—whom I had harmed. I need to do something about the people I have hurt so that I may enjoy a peaceful sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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697

August 10~Language Of Letting Go

Letting Go of Perfection

As I journey through recovery, more and more I learn that accepting myself and my idiosyncrasies—laughing at myself for my ways—gets me a lot further than picking on myself and trying to make myself perfect. Maybe that’s really what it’s all about—absolute loving, joyous, nurturing self-acceptance.

—ANONYMOUS

Stop expecting perfection from yourself and those around you.

We do a terrible, annoying thing to ourselves and others when we expect perfection. We set up a situation where others, including ourselves, do not feel comfortable with us. Sometimes, expecting perfection makes people so uptight that they and we make more mistakes than normal because we are so nervous and focused on mistakes.

That does not mean we allow inappropriate behaviors with the excuse that “nobody’s perfect.” That doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries and reasonable expectations of people and ourselves.

But our expectations need to be reasonable. Expecting perfection is not reasonable.

People make mistakes. The less anxious, intimidated, and repressed they are by expectations of being perfect, the better they will do.

Striving for excellence, purity in creativity, a harmonious performance, and the best we have to offer does not happen in the stymied, negative, fear-producing atmosphere of expecting perfection.

Have and set boundaries. Have reasonable expectations. Strive to do your best. Encourage others to do the same. But know that we and others will make mistakes. Know that we and others will have learning experiences, things we go through.

Sometimes, the flaws and imperfections in ourselves determine our uniqueness, the way they do in a piece of art. Relish them. Laugh at them. Embrace them, and ourselves.

Encourage others and ourselves to do the best we can. Love and nurture ourselves and others for being who we are. Then realize we are not merely human—we were intended and created to be human.

Today, God, help me let go of my need to be perfect and to unreasonably insist that others are perfect. I will not use this to tolerate abuse or mistreatment, but to achieve appropriate, balanced expectations. I am creating a healthy atmosphere of love, acceptance, and nurturing around and within me. I trust that this attitude will bring out the best in other people and in me.

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698

August 10~Walk In Dry Places

Am I getting too busy?

Time Management.

It’s always risky when a recovering person gets too busy for meetings. It’s also dangerous when business and personal concerns crowd out interest in the program.

We should never deceive ourselves by thinking that we’re somehow safe just because our time is filled
with useful and interesting work. Many of us have a tendency to become addicted to “busy-ness”.

Though less destructive than drinking, this serves as an escape, just as alcohol did.

The danger is that when the work no longer satisfies us, we’ll find our lives becoming empty again. We
could then be very vulnerable to taking a drink.

We should never be too busy for the wonderful, constructive work of the program. Far from taking time away from our other actives, work in the program will enhance everything we do.

I’ll try to balance my activities today, making sure that I have time for the program.

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699

August 10~A Day at a Time

Reflection For The Day

We’ve been our own worst enemies most of our lives, and we’ve often injured ourselves seriously as a result of a “justified” resentment over a slight wrong. Doubtless there are many causes for resentment in the world, all of them providing “justification.” But we can never begin to settle all the world’s grievances or even arrange things so as to please everybody.

If we’ve been treated unjustly by others or simply by life itself, we can avoid compounding the difficulty by completely forgiving the persons involved and abandoning the destructive habit of reviewing our hurts and humiliations.

Can I believe that yesterday’s hurt is today’s understanding, rewoven into tomorrow’s love?

Today I Pray
Whether I am unjustly treated or just think I am, may I try not to be a resentful person, stewing over past
injuries. Once I have identified the root emotion behind my resentment, may I be big enough to forgive the person involved and wise enough to forget the whole thing.

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700

August 10~One Day At A Time

LOSS

“The act of giving something up is painful.
But as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives, we must continually give up parts of ourselves.
The only alternative is not to travel at all on the journey of life.” ~M. Scott Peck

As I look back over my life, I can remember many losses. Some came about by death, some by the
circumstances of life, and others by choices I made. All of my losses were painful, but only three were
traumatic.

Whenever I gave something up there was a period afterwards when my life wasn’t the same as
it had been before. The amount of pain I experienced and the length of its duration were not contingent upon the seeming “severity” of the loss. Death was final, but not the most traumatic for me. Letting go of
something takes many forms.

Though my most traumatic losses were those I experienced at the end of a relationship, there were other
losses, too. I lost my youth and I mourned that. I lost a part of my life when a decades-long career gave
way to retirement. I lost my role as mother when my children grew up and I found myself with an empty
nest. I lost my identity when the disease I have had for a lifetime caused me to reach bottom and, in the
process, took the “me who was” along with it. And I lost another part of myself when I accepted the
reality of my marriage and let go of the storybook dreams I once had.

My Twelve Step program has enabled me to go through a mourning process for each loss I experienced. I
have allowed myself to grieve and feel the feelings. And when all this was done, God’s grace allowed me
to heal.

One day at a time … I will learn from those things I had to give up …
and I will continue my journey in serenity and peace.
~ Mari

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701

August 10~Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

We find that the smallest deed is better than the grandest intention.

My actions speak louder than words. What are my actions saying now?

“Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book” - Book

Keeping their secret keeps you sick

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702

Yes this is so true

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703

I totally agree. The gifts sobriety gives me can take me back out if I let them. My recovery has to come first. When it doesn’t, I get squirrelly and cranky. I don’t show up as my best self and that isn’t good for anyone.

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704

August 11~Daily Reflections

REMOVING “THE GROUND GLASS”

The moral inventory is a cool examination of the damages that occurred to us during life and a sincere effort to look at them in a true perspective. This has the effect of taking the ground glass out of us, the emotional substance that still cuts and inhibits.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 140

My Eighth Step list used to drag me into a whirlpool of resentment. After four years of sobriety, I was blocked by denial connected with an ongoing abusive relationship. The argument between fear and pride eased as the words of the Step moved from my head to my heart. For the first time in years I opened my box of paints and poured out an honest rage, an explosion of reds and blacks and yellows. As I looked at the drawing, tears of joy and relief flowed down my cheeks. In my disease, I had given up my art, a self-inflicted punishment far greater than any imposed from outside. In my recovery, I learned that the pain of my defects is the very substance God uses to cleanse my character and to set me free.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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705

August 11~Language Of Letting Go

Healing

Let healing energy flow through your body.

The healing energy of God, the Universe, life, and recovery surrounds us. It is available, waiting for us to draw on it, waiting for us to draw it in. It’s waiting at our meetings or groups, on the words of a whispered prayer, in a gentle touch, a positive word, a positive thought. Healing energy is in the sun, the wind, the rain, in all that is good.

Let healing energy come. Attract it. Accept it. Let it soak in. Breathe in the golden light. Exhale. Let go of fear, anger, hurt, doubt. Let healing energy flow to you, through you.

It is yours for the asking, for the believing.

Today, I will ask for, and accept, the healing energy from God and the Universe. I will let it flow to me, through me, and back out to others. I am part of, and at one with, the continuous cycle of healing.

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706

August 11~NA Just For Today

Active Listening

"Through active listening, we hear things that work for us."Basic Text, p.102

Most of us arrived in Narcotics Anonymous with a very poor ability to listen. But to take full advantage
of “the therapeutic value of one addict helping another” we must learn to listen actively.

What is active listening for us? In meetings, it means we concentrate on what the speaker is sharing, while the speaker is sharing. We set aside our own thoughts and opinions until the meeting is over.

That’s when we sort through what we’ve heard to decide which ideas we want to use and which we want to explore further.

We can apply our active listening skills in sponsorship, too. Newcomers often talk with us about some “major event” in their lives. While such events may not seem significant to us, they are to the newcomer who has little experience living life on life’s terms. Our active listening helps us empathize with the feelings such events trigger in our sponsee’s life. With that understanding, we have a better idea of what to share with them.

The ability to listen actively was unknown to us in the isolation of our addiction. Today, this ability helps us actively engage with our recovery. Through active listening, we receive everything being offered us in NA, and we share fully with others the love and care we’ve been given.

Just for today: I will strive to be an active listener. I will practice active listening when others share and
when I share with others.

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707

Hubby says I don’t listen. I will pray to be a better listener. Maybe I just don’t want to hear what he has to say.:worried:

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