Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

August 17~More Language Of Letting Go

Get out of the nest

The mother eagle teaches her little ones to fly by making their nest so uncomfortable that they are forced to leave it and commit themselves to the unknown world of air outside. And just so does our God to us.–Hannah Whitall Smith

Sometimes, the pressure comes from within us.

Sometimes, it’s external. That job folds. The relationship stops working. Alcohol and drugs stop working.

What am I going to do?

Oh, I see. God’s teaching me to fly again.

Thank you God, for pushing me out of the nest.

[MandiH]

August 18~Daily Reflections

GETTING WELL

Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 79-80

Only through positive action can I remove the remains of guilt and shame brought on by alcohol. Throughout my misadventures when I drank, my friends would say, “Why are you doing this? You’re only hurting yourself.” Little did I know how true were those words. Although I harmed others, some of my behavior caused grave wounds to my soul. Step Eight provides me with a way of forgiving myself. I alleviate much of the hidden damage when I make my list of those I have hurt. In making amends, I free myself of burdens, thus contributing to my healing.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 18~Language Of Letting Go

Valuing This Moment

Detachment involves present-moment living—living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.

— CODEPENDENT NO MORE

This moment, we are right where we need to be, right where we are meant to be.

How often we waste our time and energy wishing we were someone else, were doing something else, or were someplace else. We may wish our present circumstances were different.

We needlessly confuse ourselves and divert our energy by thinking that our present moment is a mistake. But we are right where we need to be for now. Our feelings, thoughts, circumstances, challenges, tasks—all of it is on schedule.

We spoil the beauty of the present moment by wishing for something else.

Come back home to yourself. Come back home to the present moment. We will not change things by escaping or leaving the moment. We will change things by surrendering to and accepting the moment.

Some moments are easier to accept than others.

To trust the process, to trust all of it, without hanging on to the past or peering too far into the future, requires a great deal of faith. Surrender to the moment. If you’re feeling angry, get mad. If you’re setting a boundary, dive into that. If you’re grieving, grieve. Get into it. Step where instinct leads. If you’re waiting, wait. If you have a task, throw yourself into the work. Get into the moment; the moment is right.

We are where we are, and it is okay. It is right where we’re meant to be to get where we’re going tomorrow. And that place will be good.

It has been planned in love for us.

God, help me let go of my need to be someone other than who I am today. Help me dive fully into the present moment. I will accept and surrender to my present moments—the difficult ones and the easy ones, trusting the whole process. I will stop trying to control the process; instead, I will relax and let myself experience it.

[MandiH]

August 18~Walk In Dry Places

Handle Today’s Problem

Living Today

Many of us face seemingly insurmountable difficulties, perhaps because of our compulsion or simply through misfortune.

Whatever the scale of our problems, One Day at a
Time and First things First, are keys to handling them.

Today, we can deal only with today’s problems. One of today’s problems, of course, may be worrying
about the future. A good method of handling that problem is to turn our concern about it over to our
Higher Power.

But when we do have work that clearly should be done today, we must carry through with it. It’s neither reasonable nor sensible to put off things that we can and should do today.

There are certain tasks and responsibilities that must be dealt with today. I will not put them off.

[MandiH]

August 18~Keep It Simple

The Master doesn’t talk, she acts. When her work is done, the people say, “Amazing: we did it, all by
ourselves!”

Our Higher Power works like the Master. Quietly. In fact, we usually take the credit ourselves!

We’re like the child who bakes cookies for the first time. Mother found the recipe, bought the ingredients, and got out the bowl and pans and spoons. She told us what to do, and finished when we got tired. Then she cleaned up after us. We proudly served our cookies, saying, “I made them all by my self!”

In recovery, our Higher Power helps and teaches us every step of the way, just like a loving parent.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you —for my life, for my recovery, for love, for hope, and for
faith. Thank-you for teaching me how to live in a better way.

Action for the Day: I’ll list five ways my Higher Power has acted in my life.

[MandiH]

August 18~NA Just For Today

How Long Do I Have To Go?

“The way to remain a productive, responsible member of society is to put our recovery first.”
Basic Text, p. 102

The meetings have been great! Each night we’ve attended, we’ve gathered with other addicts to share
experience, strength, and hope. And each day, we’ve used what we’ve learned in the meetings to continue
in our recovery.

Meanwhile, life goes on. Work, family, friends, school, sport, entertainment, community activities, civic obligations-all call out for our time. The demands of everyday living sometimes make us ask ourselves, “How long do I have to go to these meetings?”

Let’s think about this. Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, could we stay clean on our own? What
makes us think we can now? Then there’s the disease itself to consider - the chronic self-centeredness, the obsessiveness, the compulsive behavior patterns that express themselves in so many areas of our lives.

Can we live and enjoy life without effective treatment for our disease? No.

“Ordinary” people may not have to worry about such things, but we’re not “0rdinary” people - we’re addicts. We can’t pretend we don’t have a fatal, progressive illness, because we do. Without our program,we may not survive to worry about the demands of work, school, family, or anything else.

NA meetings give us the support and direction we need to recover from our addiction, allowing us to live the fullest lives possible.

Just for today: I want to live and enjoy life. To do that, I will put my recovery first.

[MandiH]

August 18~Today’s Gift

Large streams from little fountains flow. --David Everett

Somewhere nearby, no matter where we are, runs a creek. We’ve seen plenty of them, narrow and rocky.
In summer it’s hardly a creek at all, but in the spring, it feeds a mighty river.

Each of us is like that creek, a trickle contributing to some greater plan. Sometimes we feel dried up,
contributing nothing. Often we feel small, rocky, not up to the task–when we can understand what the
task is.

Sometimes the task seems too simple–get up each morning, love and work and live the day as honestly as we can. What kind of contribution is that?

Sometimes it seems too complicated. How much more we could contribute if we could see the whole river–where it begins and ends–if we knew what would happen tomorrow.

So we ebb and flow. And in our moments of contentment, we know we are doing the best we can each day.

What contribution, however small, can I offer the world today?

[MandiH]

August 19~Daily Reflections

A FRAME OF REFERENCE

Referring to our list [inventory] again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 67

There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this Step before, because once I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation and that it was the correct thing to do.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 19~Language Of Letting Go

Letting Go of Shame

Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest.

In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feelings, making choices, taking care of ourselves, having fun, being successful, or even feeling good about ourselves.

Shame may have been attached to asking for what we want and need, to communicating directly and honestly, and to giving and receiving love.

Sometimes shame disguises itself as fear, rage, indifference, or a need to run and hide, wrote Stephanie E. But if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it’s probably shame.

In recovery, we are learning to identify shame. When we can recognize it, we can begin to let go of it. We can love and accept ourselves—starting now.

We have a right to be, to be here, and to be who we are. And we don’t ever have to let shame tell us any differently.

Today, I will attack and conquer the shame in my life.

[MandiH]

August 19~Walk In Dry Places

Inventory is now

Personal Inventory.

In the early days of AA, the dramatic accounts of drinking escapades seemed to show honesty.

Taking personal inventory often included telling others about bizarre behavior connected with drinking.

We know today that inventory ought to continue on a daily basis, even though years have passed since
our last drink. We’ve learned through painful experiences that in sobriety we can still display many of the shortcomings that plagued us as practicing alcoholics.

It can also be a trap to focus on our past wrongs rather than today’s faults. We may be using this focus on the past to avoid being honest about where we stand today. Let’s remember that inventory is always now.

Taking inventory of the past won’t help us with today’s shortcomings.

I won’t use a discussion of my past wrongs as a subterfuge to keep from being honest about today’s
wrongs. I’ll continue to take personal inventory and admit wrongs as they come up.

[MandiH]

August 19~Keep It Simple

The future is made of the same stuff as the present. — Simone Weil

We found we didn’t need magic to recover—we needed a miracle! Now we are walking miracles.

Part of our miracle is that we see how important today is. We can’t change our future unless we change today.

So we live One Day at a Time. By living today well, we make our future better. There is comfort in
knowing that the program will be there. Hope will be there.

Old-timers say sobriety is easy if we go by one simple rule: don’t drink and go to meeting.

Life can get simpler; they don’t change much.

Staying sober will be easier for us over time.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me keep my sobriety simple. Help me accept the rules of life.

Action for the Day: I will list three things that will be there for me tomorrow and the next day, because
I’m working on them today

[MandiH]

August 19~Each Day a New Beginning

…to have a crisis and act upon it is one thing. To dwell in perpetual crisis is another. --Barbara Grizzuti
Harrison

Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this
obsession is our choice. We can stop at any moment.

We can decide to let go of a situation that we can’t
control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness.

Perhaps we can learn to accept a serious situation in our lives as a special opportunity for growth first of all, but even more as an opportunity to let God work in our lives.

We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time.

Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our
higher power.

The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations.

Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. No crisis need worry us. The solution is
only a prayer away.

I will take action against every crisis confronting me–I will turn to God. Each crisis is an invitation to
serenity.

[MandiH]

August 19~NA Just For Today

First Things First

"We apply effort to our most obvious problems and let go of the rest. We do the job at hand and, as we
progress, new opportunities for improvement present themselves."Basic Text, p. 54

It’s been said that recovery is simple? All we’ve got to change is everything!

That can seem a pretty tall order, especially when we first arrive in Narcotics Anonymous. After all, not many of us showed up at our first meeting because our lives were in great shape.

On the contrary, a great many of us came to NA
in the midst of the worst crises of our lives. We needed recovery, and quick!

The enormity of the change required in our lives can be paralyzing.

We know we can’t take care of all that needs to be done, not all at once. How do we start? Chances are, we’ve already started. We’ve done the first, most obvious things that needed to be done: We’ve stopped using drugs, and we’ve started going to
meetings.

What do we do next? Pretty much the same thing, just more of it. From where we are, we do what we
can. We walk the path of recovery by picking up our feet and taking the step that’s right in front of us.

Only when that’s been accomplished must we concern ourselves with what comes next. Slowly but surely, we’ll find ourselves making progress down the path, visibly drawing closer each day to becoming the kind of person we’d like to be.

Just for today: I will walk the path of my recovery by taking the step right in front of me.

[MandiH]

August 20~Daily Reflections

TOWARD EMOTIONAL FREEDOM

Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 80

Willingness is a peculiar thing for me in that, over a period of time, it seems to come, first with awareness, but then with a feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some action. As I reflected on taking the Eighth Step, my willingness to make amends to others came as a desire for forgiveness, of others and myself. I felt forgiveness toward others after I became aware of my part in the difficulties of relationships. I wanted to feel the peace and serenity described in the Promises. From working the first seven Steps, I became aware of whom I had harmed and that I had been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my relationships with my fellow human beings, I knew I would have to change. I wanted to learn to live in harmony with myself and others so that I could also live in emotional freedom. The beginning of the end to my isolation—from my fellows and from God—came when I wrote my Eighth Step list.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 20~Language Of Letting Go

Honesty in Relationships

We can be honest and direct about our boundaries in relationships and about the parameters of a particular relationship.

Perhaps no area of our life reflects our uniqueness and individuality in recovery more than our relationships. Some of us are in a committed relationship. Some of us are dating. Some of us are not dating. Some of us are living with someone. Some of us wish we were dating. Some of us wish we were in a committed relationship. Some of us get into new relationships after recovery. Some of us stay in the relationship we were in before we began recovering.

We have other relationships too. We have friendships. Relationships with children, with parents, with extended family. We have professional relationships—relationships with people on the job.

We need to be able to be honest and direct in our relationships. One area we can be honest and direct about is the parameters of our relationships. We can define our relationships to people, an idea written about by Charlotte Kasl and others, and we can ask them to be honest and direct about defining their vision of the relationship with us.

It is confusing to be in relationships and not know where we stand—whether this is on the job, in a friendship, with family members, or in a love relationship. We have a right to be direct about how we define the relationship—what we want it to be. But relationships equal two people who have equal rights. The other person needs to be able to define the relationship too. We have a right to know, and ask. So do they.

Honesty is the best policy.

We can set boundaries. If someone wants a more intense relationship than we do, we can be clear and honest about what we want, about our intended level of participation. We can tell the person what to reasonably expect from us, because that is what we want to give. How the person deals with that is his or her issue. Whether or not we tell the person is ours.

We can set boundaries and define friendships when those cause confusion.

We can even define relationships with children, if those relationships have gotten sticky and exceeded our parameters. We need to define love relationships and what that means to each person. We have a right to ask and receive clear answers. We have a right to make our own definitions and have our own expectations. So does the other person.

Honesty and directness is the only policy. Sometimes we don’t know what we want in a relationship. Sometimes the other person doesn’t know. But the sooner we can define a relationship, with the other person’s help, the sooner we can decide on an appropriate course of conduct for ourselves.

The clearer we can become on defining relationships, the more we can take care of ourselves in that relationship. We have a right to our boundaries, wants, and needs. So does the other person. We can not force someone to be in a relationship or to participate at a level we desire if he or she does not want to. All of us have a right not to be forced.

Information is a powerful tool, and having the information about what a particular relationship is—the boundaries and definitions of it—will empower us to take care of ourselves in it.

Relationships take a while to form, but at some point we can reasonably expect a clear definition of what that relationship is and what the boundaries of it are. If the definitions clash, we are free to make a new decision based on appropriate information about what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Today, I will strive for clarity and directness in my relationships. If I now have some relationships that are murky and ill-defined, and if I have given them adequate time to form, I will begin to take action to define that relationship. God, help me let go of my fears about defining and understanding the nature of my present relationships. Guide me into clarity—clear, healthy thinking. Help me know that what I want is okay. Help me know that if I can’t get that from the other person, what I want is still okay, but not possible at the present time. Help me learn to not forego what I want and need, but empower me to make appropriate, healthy choices about where to get that.

[MandiH]

Keep It Simple

Heaven and hell is right now. . .You make it heaven or you make it hell by your actions.----George
Harrison

We used chemicals to feel better, but we started feeling worse. We were out of control. Life seemed like hell.

Now we have a program that tells us how to make life better. Some days, it even feels like heaven! But
we have to work our program to make our own heaven.

Working the program isn’t too hard. And it makes us feel so good. So, why don’t we do it all the time?
Maybe we’re a little afraid of heaven. It’s time to learn to love having a better life!

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me work my program each day, so each day has a little bit of
heaven in it. Help me get used to having a better life.

Action for the Day: Tonight, I’ll think about the moments of kindness, joy, hope and faith that put a little bit of heaven into my life today

[MandiH]

August 20~NA Just For Today

Facing Death

“Often we have to face some type of crisis during our recovery, such as the death of a loved one…”

Every life has a beginning and an end. However, when someone we love a great deal reaches the end of their life, we may have a very hard time accepting their sudden, final absence.

Our grief may be so powerful that we fear it will completely overwhelm us - but it will not. Our sorrow may hurt more than anything we can remember, but it will pass.

We need not run from the emotions that may arise from the death of a loved one. Death and grieving are parts of the fullness of living “life on life’s terms.”

By allowing ourselves the freedom to experience these feelings, we partake more deeply of both our recovery and our human nature.

Sometimes the reality of another’s death makes our own mortality that much more pronounced. We
reevaluate our priorities, appreciating the loved ones still with us all the more. Our life, and our life with
them, will not go on forever. We want to make the most of what’s most important while it lasts.

We might find that the death of someone we love helps strengthen our conscious contact with our Higher Power. If we remember that we can always turn to that source of strength when we are troubled, we will be able to stay focused on it no matter what may be going on around us.

Just for today: I will accept the loss of one I love and turn to my Higher Power for the strength to accept
my feelings. I will make the most of my love for those in my life today.

[MandiH]

August 21~Daily Reflections

WE JUST TRY

My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.
THE BEST OF BILL, pp. 46-47

As long as I try, with all my heart and soul, to pass along to others what has been passed along to me, and do not demand anything in return, life is good to me. Before entering this program of Alcoholics Anonymous I was never able to give without demanding something in return. Little did I know that, once I began to give freely of myself, I would begin to receive, without ever expecting or demanding anything at all. What I receive today is the gift of “stability,” as Bill did: stability in my A.A. program; within myself; but most of all, in my relationship with my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 21~Language Of Letting Go

Detaching in Relationships

When we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we don’t care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to force things to happen, we’re showing how much we care.

We may believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don’t work. Even when we’re right, controlling doesn’t work. In some cases, controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening.

As we practice the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a relationship behavior that works.

We learn something else too. Detachment—letting go of our need to control people—enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony.

Detachment means we care, about ourselves and others. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same.

It allows our Higher Power to step in and work.

Today, I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I’m loving others, but I’m loving myself too.

[MandiH]

August 21~Today’s Gift

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is the lightning that does the work. --Mark Twain

Thunder demands our attention. From the ear-splitting boom overhead to the faint rumble in the distance, it is an impressive part of nature. Yet, it is the lightning that discharges electricity from one cloud to another, or to the earth.

We are sometimes like thunder. We may shout our intentions to family members, or quietly tell our
dreams to friends. No matter how we say it, it is the ability to follow through that is most important.

When we’ve completed what we’ve set out to do, we will feel a sense of satisfaction and energy. With this
energy, and the knowledge we can finish what we set out to do, we will make our dreams come true.

What is left incomplete that I can finish today?