Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

August 21~Each Day a New Beginning

With each new day I put away the past and discover the new beginnings I have been given. --Angela L.
Wozniak

We can’t recapture what is no more. And the minutes or hours we spend dwelling on what was or should
have been only steal away from all that presently is. Today stands before us with promise. The
opportunities for growth are guaranteed, as is all the spiritual help we need to handle any situation the day offers.

If today offers us a challenge, we can be grateful. Our challenges are gifts. They mean we are ready to
move ahead to new awarenesses, to a new sense of our womanhood. Challenges force us to think
creatively; they force us to turn to others; they demand that we change. Without challenges, we’d stagnate, enjoying life little, offering life nothing.

We each are making a special contribution, one that only we can make; each time we confront a new
situation with courage. Each time we dare to open a new door. What we need to do today is to close the
door on yesterday. Then we can stand ready and willing to go forward.

This day awaits my full presence. I will be the recipient of its gifts.

[MandiH]

August 22~Daily Reflections

SEEKING EMOTIONAL STABILITY

When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116

All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and things. I had been a real “people addict”; wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received.

I have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to work A.A.'s Steps to keep this particular principle before my personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and emotional stability.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 22~Language Of Letting Go

Responsibility for Family Members

I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.

—ANONYMOUS

For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people’s feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents’ happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.

We do not have this kind of power over our parents—over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.

Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. They may be our parents, but their beliefs and behaviors are not always healthy and in our best interest.

We are free to examine and choose our beliefs.

Let go of guilt. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control us, our feelings, our behaviors, or our life.

Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.
Responsibility for Family Members
I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.

—ANONYMOUS

For some of us, the idea that we were responsible for other people’s feelings had its roots in childhood and was established by members of our nuclear family. We may have been told that we made our mother or father miserable, leading directly to the idea that we were also responsible for making them happy. The idea that we are responsible for our parents’ happiness or misery can instill exaggerated feelings of power and guilt in us.

We do not have this kind of power over our parents—over their feelings, or over the course of their lives. We do not have to allow them to have this kind of power over us.

Our parents did the best they could. But we still do not have to accept one belief from them that is not a healthy belief. They may be our parents, but they are not always right. They may be our parents, but their beliefs and behaviors are not always healthy and in our best interest.

We are free to examine and choose our beliefs.

Let go of guilt. Let go of excessive and inappropriate feelings of responsibility toward parents and other family members. We do not have to allow their destructive beliefs to control us, our feelings, our behaviors, or our life.

Today, I will begin the process of setting myself free from any self-defeating beliefs my parents passed on to me. I will strive for appropriate ideas and boundaries concerning how much power and how much responsibility I can actually have in my relationship with my parents.

[MandiH]

August 22~Each Day a New Beginning

We’re only as sick as the secrets we keep. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh

Harboring parts of our inner selves, fearing what others would think if they knew, creates the barriers that keep us separate, feeling different, certain of our inadequacies.

Secrets are burdens, and they weigh heavily on us, so heavily. Carrying secrets makes impossible the
attainment of serenity–that which we strive for daily. Abstinence alone is not enough. It must come first,
but it’s not enough by itself. It can’t guarantee that we’ll find the serenity we seek.

This program of recovery offers self-assurance, happiness, spiritual well-being, but there’s work to be
done. Many steps to be taken. And one of these is total self-disclosure. It’s risky, it’s humbling, and it’s
necessary.

When we tell others who we really are, it opens the door for them to share likewise. And when they do,
we become bonded. We accept their imperfections and love them for them. And they love us for ours.

Our struggles to be perfect, our self-denigration because we aren’t, only exaggerates even more the secrets that keep us sick.

Our tarnished selves are lovable; secrets are great equalizers when shared. We need to feel our oneness, our sameness with others.

Opportunities to share my secrets will present themselves today. I will be courageous.

[MandiH]

August 22~One Day At A Time

PREPARING

“Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” John Wooden

Every morning I make a decision. I decide to prepare for a day of recovery, or I decide to not prepare for
a day of recovery. It comes as no surprise that on the days I prepare I do better.

I have to take responsibility for my decisions, even my indecision. If I do nothing to help myself today, I
have no one to blame but myself. If nothing else, I can take five minutes in the morning to invite my
Higher Power into my life.

One day at a time…

I will prepare for a good day today. I will take responsibility for my recovery.

[MandiH]

August 23~Daily Reflections

BRINGING THE MESSAGE HOME

Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp.111-12

My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they are just as I love and accept A.A. members—fosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting others’ personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 23~Language Of Letting Go

Self-Care

When will we become lovable? When will we feel safe? When will we get all the protection, nurturing, and love we so richly deserve? We will get it when we begin giving it to ourselves.

— BEYOND CODEPENDENCY

The idea of giving ourselves what we want and need can be confusing, especially if we have spent many years not knowing that it’s okay to take care of ourselves. Taking our energy and focus off others and their responsibilities and placing that energy on to ourselves and our responsibilities is a recovery behavior that can be acquired. We learn it by daily practice.

We begin by relaxing, by breathing deeply, and letting go of our fears enough to feel as peaceful as we can. Then, we ask ourselves: What do I need to do to take care of myself today, or for this moment?

What do I need and want to do?

What would demonstrate love and self-responsibility?

Am I caught up in the belief that others are responsible for making me happy, responsible for me? Then the first thing I need to do is correct my belief system. I am responsible for myself.

Do I feel anxious and concerned about a responsibility I’ve been neglecting? Then perhaps I need to let go of my fears and tend to that responsibility.

Do I feel overwhelmed, out of control? Maybe I need to journey back to the first of the Twelve Steps.

Have I been working too hard? Maybe what I need to do is take some time off and do something fun.

Have I been neglecting my work or daily tasks? Then maybe what I need to do is get back to my routine.

There is no recipe, no formula, no guidebook for self-care. We each have a guide, and that guide is within us. We need to ask the question: What do I need to do to take loving, responsible care of myself? Then, we need to listen to the answer. Self-care is not that difficult. The most challenging part is trusting the answer, and having the courage to follow through once we hear it.

Today, I will focus on taking care of myself. I will trust myself and my Higher Power to guide me in this process.

[MandiH]

August 23~Walk In Dry Places

Planning for others.

Letting Go.

There are times when we think we see perfectly what others ought to be doing. It pains and disturbs us when loved ones… our children, perhaps… do not heed our advice.

In planning for others, we can easily fall into the trap of enabling. An enabler is a person who supports others in an unhealthy addiction or dependency.

We must not plan the lives of others, no matter how dear they are to us or how attached we become to
them. They must have the freedom to live without obligation or the belief that they could not have
succeeded without our help.

Freedom of choice is a precious right that includes the freedom to make mistakes.

I’ll release any tendency I have to plan for others. At all times, my responsibility is to keep on the right
track and let others be free.

[MandiH]

August 23~Keep It Simple

Where there is no vision, a people perish.—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Working our program teaches us to see things more clearly. We learn to look at who we really are. At
first, we’re scared to see ourselves. But it turns out okay, even though were not perfect.

We also begin to see others more clearly. We see good in people we don’t like. And we see faults in
people we thought we’re prefect. But we don’t judge people anymore. Nobody is perfect. Just as our
program friends accept us as we are, we learn to accept others.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, sometimes I don’t like what I see. Help me to believe Your way will
for me. Help me have a vision.

Action for the Day: I will use my new way of seeing thing to avoid trouble today.

[MandiH]

August 23~NA Just For Today

Decision Making

"Before we got clean, most of our actions were guided by impulse. Today, we are not locked into this
type of thinking."Basic Text p. 87

Life is a series of decisions, actions, and consequences.

When we were using, our decisions were usually driven by our disease, resulting in self-destructive actions and dire consequences. We came to see
decision making as a rigged game, one we should play as little as possible.

Given that, many of us have great difficulty learning to make decisions in recovery. Slowly, by working
the Twelve Steps, we gain practice in making healthy decisions, ones that give positive results. Where our
disease once affected our will and our lives, we ask our Higher Power to care for us. We inventory our
values and our actions, check our findings with someone we trust, and ask the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings.

In working the steps we gain freedom from the influence of our disease, and we learn principles of decision making that can guide us in all our affairs.

Today, our decisions and their consequences need not be influenced by our disease. Our faith gives us the courage and direction to make good decisions and the strength to act on them. The result of that kind of decision making is a life worth living.

Just for today: I will use the principles of the Twelve Steps to make healthy decisions. I will ask my
Higher Power for the strength to act on those decisions.

[MandiH]

August 24~Daily Reflections

A RIDDLE THAT WORKS

It may be possible to find explanations of spiritual experiences such as ours, but I have often tried to explain my own and have succeeded only in giving the story of it. I know the feeling it gave me and the results it has brought, but I realize I may never fully understand its deeper why and how.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 313

I had a profound spiritual experience during an open A.A. meeting, which led me to blurt out, “I’m an alcoholic!” I have not had a drink since that day. I can tell you the words I heard just prior to my admission, and how those words affected me, but as to why it happened, I do not know. I believe a power greater than myself chose me to recover, yet I do not know why. I try not to worry or wonder about what I do not yet know; instead, I trust that if I continue to work the Steps, practice the A.A. principles in my life, and share my story, I will be guided lovingly toward a deep and mature spirituality in which more will be revealed to me. For the time being, it is a gift for me to trust God, work the Steps and help others.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 24~Language Of Letting Go

Step Eight

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

— STEP EIGHT OF AL-ANON

The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.

We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.

Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we’ve ever done, everyone we’ve come in contact with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.

Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we will heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored.

Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with myself and others.

[MandiH]

August 24~Keep It Simple

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ~Oscar Wilde

There’s a big difference between being self-centered and having self love. We’re self-centered when we think we don’t need people. We might think, “I’m more important than others.” Being self-centered ends up hurting us.

It makes us lonely. It keeps us from our Higher Power. Addiction is about being self-centered.

Recovery and the Twelve Steps are about self-love. If we love ourselves, we say, “We’re all equal and in need of each other.” Self-love includes having good relationships.

It includes trusting that they we’ll do what is best, with the help of our Higher Power. We must believe in ourselves to trust others.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me love myself as You love me. Help me take good care of myself.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list three things I like about myself. I’ll talk with a friend and share these things. I’ll ask my friend what he or she likes about me.

[MandiH]

August 24~Each Day a New Beginning

There were many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really
broke a heart was taking away its dream–whatever that dream might be. --Pearl S. Buck

No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights–and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed.

Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that
when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our
teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus.

Dreams in our earlier years often come to nought. They couldn’t compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds.

Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we’ve come, and give us a chance to consider our destination.

Today’s dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won’t let them pass, unnoticed.

[19801]

. Change to TS way of life and higher power if your not keen on AA and GOD

[MandiH]

August 25~Daily Reflections

THE GIFT OF BONDING

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 63

Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bonding—with those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 25~Language Of Letting Go

Willing to Make Amends

The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change.

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard-heartedness—one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, “Sorry!” We make our list, not to feel guilty but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins—within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy.

That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us.

How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, “I’m sorry”? How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often.

Others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest.

But we become healed. We become capable of love.

Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard-heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love.

[MandiH]

August 25~Each Day a New Beginning

In soloing–as in other activities–it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it. --Amelia Earhart

Procrastination plagues us all, at one time or another. But any activity that is worthy of our effort should be tackled by bits and pieces, one day at a time.

We are too easily overwhelmed when we set our only on the accomplished goal. We need to focus, instead, on the individual elements and then on just one element at a time.

A book is written, word-by-word. A house is built, timber-by-timber. A college degree is attained, course-by-course.

By the time we got to this program, most of us had accumulated a checkered past, much of which we
wanted to deny or forget. And the weight of our past can stand in the way of the many possibilities in the
present.

Our past need not determine what we set out to do today. However, we must be realistic: We can’t change a behavior pattern overnight. But we can begin the process.

We can decide on a reasonable, manageable
objective for this 24-hour period. Enough days committed to the completion of enough small objectives will bring us to the attainment of any goal, large or small.

I can finish any task I set my sights on, when I take it one day at a time. Today is before me. I can move
forward in a small way.

[MandiH]

August 25~NA Just For Today

The Ninth Step - Reclaiming Life

"We are achieving freedom from the wreckage of our past."Basic Text p. 45

When we start the Ninth Step, we’ve reached an exciting stage in our recovery. The damage done in our lives is what led many of us to seek help in the first place. Now, we have a chance to clean up that
wreckage, amend our past, and reclaim our lives.

We’ve spent a long time and much effort preparing for this step. When we came to NA, facing the debris
of our past was probably the last thing we wanted to do.

We started doing it privately with a personal
inventory. Then, we opened our past up to the scrutiny of a select, trusted few: ourselves, our Higher Power, and one other person.

We took a look at our shortcomings, the source of much of the chaos in our lives, and asked that all those defects of character be removed. Finally, we listed the amends needed to set our wrongs right - all of them - and became willing to make them.

Now, we have the opportunity to make amends-to acquire freedom from the wreckage of our past.
Everything we’ve done so far in NA has led us here.

At this point in the process of our recovery, the Ninth
Step is exactly what we want to do. With the Twelve Steps and the help of a Higher Power, we are clearing away the rubble that for so long has stood in the way of our progress; we are gaining the freedom to live.

Just for today: I will take advantage of the opportunity to reclaim my life. I will experience freedom from
the wreckage of my past.

[MandiH]

August 25~Today’s Gift
… self-love is an unequivocal acceptance of the validity of getting what one wants–of respecting one’s needs. --Marion Weinstein

Once there was a woman who loved her husband and children so much that she did everything for them and nothing for herself.

She thought taking care of herself was selfish. She never considered taking a vacation when she needed it. She stayed to take care of her family no matter what it cost her personally.

Then she realized how much she resented them because she wasn’t taking care of herself. So she began to ask for what she needed.

At first, her family didn’t like it. Little by little they began to notice that when she was relaxed, their lives were more serene, too. It wasn’t always easy for her to love herself enough to ask for what she needed, but she learned that when she said no to demands she couldn’t meet, she felt calm and centered.

Best of all, she no longer resented them for asking. When she said yes, she did what they asked with real pleasure.

Do I sometimes resent doing things I could have chosen not to do?