Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

December 6~Walk In Dry Places

Alcoholism: Disease or Bad Habit?

Understanding my problem.

While AA has always considered alcoholism a disease, controversy still simmers over its definition.

In the past, alcoholism has been considered a sin, a sickness, or just a very bad habit. More recently, there has been a suggestion that some “problem drinkers” might not be alcoholics at all and can very possibly bring their drinking under control.

This controversy will undoubtedly continue, but it is important that recovering people understand the
NATURE of alcoholism. It is deadly, it is compulsive, and it is progressive.

While there are occasional reports of alcoholics who claim to have become controlled drinkers, few of us have any firsthand evidence of such changes.

Much more often, we hear stories of alcoholics who try to drink again, only to find themselves headed down a rocky road.

It is not necessary that we define alcoholism perfectly or precisely. What’s more important is that we remember we’re powerless over alcohol and cannot safely pick up a drink.

No definition will change that reality for an alcoholic who has had an unmanageable life.

I’m fortunate AA gave me an understanding of my problem that I can live with—one that will help me
continue living. Others can worry about defining alcoholism. I’ll focus on staying sober myself.

[MandiH]

December 7~Daily Reflections

TRUE AMBITION

True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 124-25

During my drinking years, my one and only concern was to have my fellow man think highly of me. My ambition in everything I did was to have the power to be at the top. My inner self kept telling me something else but I couldn’t accept it. I didn’t even allow myself to realize that I wore a mask continually. Finally, when the mask came off and I cried out to the only God I could conceive, the Fellowship of A.A., my group and the Twelve Steps were there. I learned how to change resentments into acceptance, fear into hope and anger into love. I have learned also, through loving without undue expectations, through sharing my concerns and caring for my fellow man, that each day can be joyous and fruitful. I begin and end my day with thanks to God, who has so generously shed His grace on me.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 7~Language Of Letting Go

When the Time Is Right

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.

We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.

Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.

It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say “I don’t know,” and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.

While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.

Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.

Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.

[MandiH]

December 8~Daily Reflections

SERVICE

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. . . . Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

It is through service that the greatest rewards are to be found. But to be in a position of offering true, useful and effective service to others, I must first work on myself. This means that I have to abandon myself to God, admitting my faults and clearing away the wreckage of my past. Work on myself has taught me how to find the necessary peace and serenity to successfully merge inspiration and experience. I have learned how to be, in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 8~Language Of Letting Go

Valuing Our Needs

When we don’t ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.

Maybe others taught us it wasn’t polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don’t, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn’t meet our needs.

Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.

Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That’s called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.

Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and importance on our needs, we’ll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.

Today, I will respect the wants and needs of myself and others. I will tell myself, others, and my Higher Power what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too.

[MandiH]

December 8~Each Day a New Beginning

I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring. --Dodie Smith

Repeatedly, today and every day, we will be in new situations, new settings with old friends, and old
settings and situations with new friends.

Each instance is fresh, unlike all the times before.
And inspiration can accompany each moment, if we but recognize how special it is.

“We will not pass this way again,” so the song says, which heightens the meaning of each encounter,
every experience.

Acknowledging that something can be gained each step along the way invites inspiration. Inspiration moves us to new heights. We will be called to step beyond our present boundaries. Maybe today.

Whenever the inspiration catches our attention, we can trust its invitation; we are ready for the
challenge it offers. We need not let our narrow, personal expectations of an experience, a new situation perhaps, prevent us from being open to all the dynamic possibilities it offers.

I must be willing to let my whole self be moved, inspired. I must be willing to let each moment I
experience be the only moment getting my attention.

[MandiH]

December 9~Daily Reflections

LOVE WITH NO PRICE TAG

When the Twelfth Step is seen in its full implication, it is really talking about the kind of love that has no price tag on it.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106

In order for me to start working the Twelfth Step, I had to work on sincerity and honesty, and to learn to act with humility. Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated. My dreams can become reality. I solidify my sobriety by sharing what I have received freely. As I look back to that time when I began my recovery, there was already a seed of hope that I could help another drunk pull himself out of his alcoholic mire. My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health. But I never forget that God acts through me. I am only His instrument.

Even if the other person is not ready, there is success, because my effort in his behalf has helped me to remain sober and to become stronger. To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key. If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried. God reminds me that I can feel compassion!

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 9~Language Of Letting Go

Asking for Help

It’s okay to ask for help.

One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource.

We don’t have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends.

Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God.

It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we’ll get the help we need.

There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that.

It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need.

“My problem is shame,” said one woman. “I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was too ashamed. Isn’t that crazy?”

We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need.

Today, I will ask for help if I need it—from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life—the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe or resources available to me.

[MandiH]

December 9~A Day at a Time

Reflection For The Day

“Difficulties are God’s errands, and when we are sent upon them, we should esteem it a proof of God’s
confidence.”-Beecher

I’ve come to realize that my past troubles were really of my own making. Although I hardly thought so at
the time, I was a primary example of what The Program calls “self-will run riot.”

Today, I’ll accept my difficulties as sign posts to growth, and as evidence of God’s confidence in me. Do I believe that God will never give me more than I can handle?

Today I Pray
May I believe strongly that God has confidence in me to handle my troubles, that the difficulties I must face are in direct proportion to my strength and ability to bear up and keep a cool head in a crisis. May I also understand that it is my faith in God that keeps me from crumbling.

Today I Will Remember
God has faith in me, because I have faith in God.

[MandiH]

December 10~Daily Reflections

CARRYING THE MESSAGE

Now, what about the rest of the Twelfth Step? The wonderful energy it releases and the eager action by which it carries our message to the next suffering alcoholic and which finally translates the Twelve Steps into action upon all our affairs is the payoff, the magnificent reality, of Alcoholics Anonymous.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 109

To renounce the alcoholic world is not to abandon it, but to act upon principles I have come to love and cherish, and to restore in others who still suffer the serenity I have come to know. When I am truly committed to this purpose, it matters little what clothes I wear or how I make a living. My task is to carry the message, and to lead by example, not design.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 10~Language Of Letting Go

Empowerment

You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you.

Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes.

We can make a new decision that takes new information into account.

We can change our mind from time to time. That’s our right too.

We don’t have to be intellectuals to make good choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom.

Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people’s decisions.

That also means we are responsible for our choices.

We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions.

We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.

Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that I am being guided by Divine Wisdom.

[MandiH]

December 10~Each Day a New Beginning

The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from
the forgiving state of mind. --Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater
happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don’t
recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we’re in a forgiving state of mind.

Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love.

First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them.

We’ve come full circle–and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life’s events, and it promises greater happiness.

The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart.

[MandiH]

December 10~Walk In Dry Places

HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?

Good judgment.

All of our lives, many of us had to deal with “tempests in a teapot.” These were minor problems that we somehow magnified until they became disasters.

Some of us also took refuge in the bottle when faced with problems. Remembering this with some guilt, we may feel a responsibility today to deal with every problem efficiently and promptly. This feeling
might also create unnecessary anxiety.

We can easily get to the heart of such matters by asking ourselves, “How Important is it?” We might be making something far more important than it really is.

The importance of problems is revealed by our inability to remember what was upsetting us a week ago.

Asking, “How important is it?” can be a useful test to avoid excessive worrying about any problem.

I’ll take a responsibility attitude today, but I’ll watch myself for a tendency to go to pieces over things that really aren’t important in the long run.

[MandiH]

December 11~Daily Reflections

“A GENUINE HUMILITY”

. . . we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 192

Experience has taught me that my alcoholic personality tends to be grandiose. While having seemingly good intentions, I can go off on tangents in pursuit of my “causes.” My ego takes over and I lose sight of my primary purpose. I may even take credit for God’s handiwork in my life. Such an overstated feeling of my own importance is dangerous to my sobriety and could cause great harm to A.A. as a whole.

My safeguard, the Twelfth Tradition, serves to keep me humble. I realize, both as an individual and as a member of the Fellowship, that I cannot boast of my accomplishments, and that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 11~Language Of Letting Go

Affirmations

One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think—using our mental energy positively.

Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don’t like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we’re honest about it. If something isn’t working out, we accept reality. But we don’t dwell on the negative parts of our experience.

Whatever we give energy to, we empower.

There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself. . . . I’m good enough. . . . My life is good. . . . I’m glad I’m alive today. . . . What I want and need is coming to me. . . . I can. . . .

Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We’ve been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.

Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I’m willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good.

[MandiH]

December 12~Daily Reflections

A COMMON SOLUTION

The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 17

The most far-reaching Twelfth Step work was the publication of our Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Few can equal that book for carrying the message. My idea is to get out of myself and simply do what I can. Even if I haven’t been asked to sponsor and my phone rarely rings, I am still able to do Twelfth Step work. I get involved in “brotherly and harmonious action.” At meetings I show up early to greet people and to help set up, and to share my experience, strength and hope. I also do what I can with service work. My Higher Power gives me exactly what He wants me to do at any given point in my recovery and, if I let Him, my willingness will bring Twelfth Step work automatically.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

December 12~Language Of Letting Go

God’s Will

Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far-reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go.

Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the healing, all the wisdom, all the fulfillment of desire is embodied in this simple request. We need say no more than Thank You.

This Plan that has been made for us is not one of deprivation. It is one of fullness, joy, and abundance. Walk into it.

See for yourself.

Today, I will ask God to show me what God wants me to do for this day, and then ask for help to do that. I will trust that is sufficient to take me into light and joy.

[MandiH]

December 12~Keep It Simple

God gave us memory that we might have roses in December.–James M. Barrie.

Do you remember what it was like to not have sobriety? Remember the shame? Remember the
loneliness? Remember lying and wishing you could stop? Remember the powerlessness? Do you
remember, also, how it felt when you began to believe you had an illness? Your shame was lifted.
Remember what it was like to look around at your meeting and know you belonged? Your loneliness was lifted. Remember when you family started to trust you again? Your dishonesty had been lifted.

Sobriety gives us many roses. Our memory will help to keep them fresh.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, never let me forget what it was like. Why? Because I’m only one drink
or pill away from losing You.

Action for the Day: I’ll find a friend I trust. I’ll tell that person what my life was like before sobriety. I’ll
also talk about how I got sober.

[MandiH]

December 12~NA Just For Today

Fear Of Change

“By working the steps, we come to accept a Higher Power’s will… We lose our fear of the unknown. We
are set free.”~Basic Text pg. 16

Life is a series of changes, both large and small.

Although we may know and accept this fact
intellectually, chances are that our initial emotional reaction to change is fear. For some reason, we
assume that each and every change is going to hurt, causing us to be miserable.

If we look back on the changes that have happened in our lives, we’ll find that most of them have been for the best.

We were probably very frightened at the prospect of life without drugs, yet it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

Perhaps we’ve lost a job that we thought we’d die without, but later on we found greater challenge and personal fulfillment in a new career.

As we venture forth in our recovery, we’re likely to experience more changes. We will outgrow old situations and become ready for new ones.

With all sorts of changes taking place, it’s only natural to grab hold of something, anything familiar and try to hold on. Solace can be found in a Power greater than ourselves.

The more we allow changes to happen at the direction of our Higher Power, the more we’ll trust that those changes are for the best. Faith will replace fear, and we’ll know in our hearts that all will be well.

Just for today: When I am afraid of a change in my life, I will take comfort from knowing that God’s will
for me is good.

[MandiH]

December 13~Daily Reflections

THINKING OF OTHERS

Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20

Thinking of others has never come easily to me. Even when I try to work the A.A. program, I’m prone to thinking, “How do I feel today. Am I happy, joyous and free?”

The program tells me that my thoughts must reach out to those around me: “Would that newcomer welcome someone to talk to?” “That person looks a little unhappy today, maybe I could cheer him up.” It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity and God-consciousness I seek.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.