When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues, . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, “This simply can’t be. . . .”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 132
When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to “compel the payment of dues.” I could not imagine an organization that didn’t require monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only experience with getting “something for nothing.” Because I did not feel used or conned by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic’s disdain for being manipulated.
One of the things I love the most is as long as I’m willing to keep showing up and receive it, I’m given freely love, help, friendship, community and recovery. I also get to be a link in the chain and give back to others what has so freely been given to me.
I love that the group conscious makes decisions. It’s not one person, it’s the group as a whole with AA traditions in mind. I’ve learned a lot in the business meetings as well. But one person doesn’t call the shots, so the program as a whole is maintained with integrity. This is also why it’s survived and continues to work.
I am grateful to be a part of such a beautiful thing today. And I’m grateful that the structure maintains the integrity so it can continue to exist and change the lives others that want it too.
It works—it really does.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88
When I got sober I initially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences—experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. Out of their sharing came hope that I too would—and could—“get” a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power—a faith that works under all conditions—is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, openmindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works—it really does.
Do not be discouraged.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60
Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.
Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
For so many years my life revolved solely around myself. I was consumed with self in all forms—self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the capacity—if I so choose—to put my pride aside in all situations which arise in my life. Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety.
Ah, I feel like I could have written this one myself.
For me though, it wasn’t all stemming from pride. It was actually largely fear for me. Fear and the ways I had found to keep myself safe.
The thing is though, in my recovery I have learned how to connect with others in a healthy manner. How to get myself out of the way. How to REALLY help others, before I was just taking their stuff over and actually making it worse.
I had to surrender to this new way of life though to have this happen. I had to pull the cotton from my ears and put it in my mouth. I had to listen and be willing to do what others who were not only truly happy but who also had decades of sobriety and what worked for them.
I had to get out of my selfish ways and admit I didn’t know best to really get the best kind of sobriety. One with peace, serenity, connection, health, happiness, love and true recovery.
I’m grateful every single day for finally allowing myself to work this program. Because of it, I’ll be celebrating 7 years sober in a week.
It works if I work it and today I’m actually excited to be joining a meeting. My own self-will gets me closer to a drink, but being with others in recovery and connecting with my HP keep me continuing on a path further away from it. And that’s what I will continue to do today.
The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115
By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort.
Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it’s easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit.
I love this visual with the weeds in the garden. Even though I’ve pulled a large amount of weeds, new ones continue to have the opportunity to sprout. This is why I keep working the program. This is why I have to practice these principals in ALL of my affairs. If I don’t keep working the program, it stops working and the weeds will overtake my garden.
It’s funny, this morning I’m reflecting on the fact that today is my birthday but I’m feeling pretty meh about it. Like it’s just another ordinary day this year, when in the past I’d milk it all month lol.
What I’m actually most excited about is my 7th sober birthday next week-I even took the day off for it. I think that speaks volumes about my recovery. It’s no longer all about me, it’s about my fellows, my recovery, my program and this new life I’ve been blessed with. I’m extremely grateful today for this, and my heart is full.
“But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow ‘take it easy?’ That’s what I want to know.”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26
I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, “Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?” Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial “kid in a candy store.” I couldn’t wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months’ work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.
I wanted to rush through and just get to the good stuff! My sponsor made me slow down. We sat with each step. She didn’t let me do it “my” way, it turns out she knew what was best for me for more than I did. And my sobriety has stuck, because I keep doing the work.
For me, I’ve noticed that even if I don’t pick up a drink, if I start to wander away from the program, my demeanor shows it. I am shorter. Less kind. More focused on me. Frustrated. Even sad or depressed at times. And then it’s only a matter of time before I pick up again. I stay and work it because it works. I am not perfect, I am human and I don’t always get things right. It’s a journey. But the one thing I know is my recovery and connection to my HP needs to come first, or I’ll lose everything else anyway.
Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47
The idea of faith is a very large chunk to swallow when fear, doubt and anger abound in and around me. Sometimes just the idea of doing something different, something I am not accustomed to doing, can eventually become an act of faith if I do it regularly, and do it without debating whether it’s the right thing to do. When a bad day comes along and everything is going wrong, a meeting or a talk with another drunk often distracts me just enough to persuade me that everything is not quite as impossible, as overwhelming as I had thought. In the same way, going to a meeting or talking to a fellow alcoholic are acts of faith; I believe I’m arresting my disease. These are ways I slowly move toward faith in a Higher Power.
I truly have been very prejudice in my past against faith. God. Religion. The angels. Even AA. What I believed came from preconceived notions of my own making or what I had been shown by others. Contempt prior to true investigation. We are all humans. We are flawed and perfect all at the same time. And I hated the idea of change or not being self-reliant.
Today I live life VERY differently, and all the things I used to condem are the very things that have changed my life for the better. But I first had to surrender my own beliefs and notions to open up to a new way of life, because mine wasn’t working. I’m stubborn and had to go a ways down the rabbit hole first however. No matter how far down the scale we go, if we are willing to take the steps to change our lives, they truly do work.
I’m grateful for this change in perspective. For opening up and questioning my own beliefs. For getting myself out of the way to be willing to try new things. For this program that helps me connect to my own HP and to those in recovery. This is the reason I am able to be happy, joyous and free today. Even on the tougher days, I have what it takes now to get through them and not get stuck dwelling in the muck.
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God’s will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.
Amen! My willingness and my connection to that higher power can help me literally everywhere. The gift of desperation allowed me to see that I didn’t know what was best, so I became willing to finally open up to a new way of life. And I’m forever changed by that for the better.
Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn’t it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one’s will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35
Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward. Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God changes. I learn to submit to God’s will in my life, to have self-respect, and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34
No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step.
I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God’s care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death.
The matter of will (self-will or God’s will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God’s will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God’s will for me, there is peace within.
