Some of us won’t believe in God, others can’t, and still others who do believe that God exists have no faith whatever He will perform this miracle.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 25
It was the changes I saw in the new people who came into the Fellowship that helped me lose my fear, and change my negative attitude to a positive one. I could see the love in their eyes and I was impressed by how much their “One Day at a Time” sobriety meant to them. They had looked squarely at Step Two and came to believe that a power greater than themselves was restoring them to sanity. That gave me faith in the Fellowship, and hope that it could work for me too. I found that God was a loving God, not that punishing God I feared before coming to A.A. I also found that He had been with me during all those times I had been in trouble before I came to A.A. I know today that He was the one who led me to A.A. and that I am a miracle.
My higher power absolutely led me to AA, and I’m beyond grateful for this. My entire life has changed for the better. I saw people with DECADES of sobriety during the first few meetings I went to for a girlfriend. I thought it wasn’t for me, but that stuck out to me. I didn’t know anyone that had that, except in AA. So when my higher power led me back there, I knew there was power in the program and I fully surrendered to it as my way wasn’t working. I’m full of gratitude for this today.
. . . there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25
My first attempt at the Steps was one of obligation and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of discouragement in the face of all those adverbs: courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only. I considered Bill W. fortunate to have gone through such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience. I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was my own. After a few twenty-four hours in the A.A. Fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of members in the meetings, I understood that everyone gradually finds his or her own pace in moving through the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live according to these suggested principles. As a result of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude towards life, people, and towards anything having to do with God, has been transformed and improved.
This part stands out the most. I had no idea how to change my life until I surrendered to REALLY trying a new way. I put down the drink for 2 years and while I did change some big things on the surface, I hadn’t done a whole lot of work to change on the inside. I just knew my way still wasn’t working. So I prayed and asked for help. And I was directed within hours to that spiritual toolkit. I surrendered. And everything changed. I still wanted to do things my way. I wanted to rush through the steps, but my sponsor knew far better than I did that each step needed real time dedicated to the process. More was always revealed. I’m grateful for my HP, this program of action, the steps, my sponsor & others who are in recovery with me.
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the “high bottoms,” the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself “different” in A. A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I’ve created by feeling I’m “different” in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Today I look for the similarities instead of the differences. It turned out, over time I have discovered that we are all far more alike than I used to think we were.
At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26
Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed and I felt that anyone else’s laughter was directed at me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken giggle in me.
When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also. Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously.
Everything was always so serious for me when I got sober. I got to see what a mess my life REALLY was as soon as I put down the drink. But when connecting to others in sobriety, I found laughter. Love. Connection. People who got it and were focused on the same things I was. And most of that was found right here in this forum during my early days. This has carried with me into all of my connections today. I am beyond grateful for this today.
At once, I became a part—if only a tiny part—of a cosmos. . . .
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225
When I first came to A.A., I decided that “they” were very nice people — perhaps a little naive, a little too friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with whom I had nothing in common). I saw “them” at meetings—after all, that was where “they” existed. I shook hands with “them” and, when I went out the door, I forgot about “them.”
Then one day my Higher Power, whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a community project outside of A.A., but one which happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked together, I got to know “them” as people. I came to admire “them,” even to like “them” and, in spite of myself, to enjoy “them.” “Their” practice of the program in their daily lives—not just in talk at meetings—attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the “they” became “we.” I have not had a drink since.
As I said in an earlier post, we are not as different as I originally thought when I still thought that my way was best. Alcoholism really doesn’t discriminate. It can hit anyone from vastly different walks of life. This gives me an opportunity to learn more. Being with others who truly get it changed things for me. And God often does for me what I can’t do for myself-I first came to these meetings for someone else. Connecting with others in recovery is powerful. We are truly in it together, and I am grateful for that this morning. In my old life, my Fridays were spent in oblivion. Instead I get to be present, happy and healthy, thanks to those who came before me.
. . . this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however . . . haltingly, toward His own likeness and image.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51
As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see that there was a life which, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is through the continuing work of the Steps and the life in the Fellowship that I’ve learned to see that there is truly a better way into which I am being guided. As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust His ways and His plans for the development of His character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow toward His own image and likeness.
Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for finding a new one.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46
What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm something in the universe beyond human logic. When I face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is increased; when I accept pain as part of the growing experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light; when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength. I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace, expecting nothing from life, and I have been given hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep the gifts of the program is to pass them on.
I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have “an attitude of gratitude”—that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity and that “anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” As a result of this guidance, I start every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things: I’m alive, I’m sober, and I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I try to live an “attitude of gratitude” and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it’s something I live.
I too begin my day connecting to my hp and sitting in gratitude. I find that starting my day in this way brings me to a place where I look at all the beautiful things in life all day. When I skip it, I often revert back to finding all that’s wrong. Having that connection to my hp also sets my day going in the right direction-thy will be done, not mine. It truly IS a way of life. I get to practice these principals in ALL of my affairs and life continues to change for the better because of it. I’m grateful to be in recovery and for this new lease on life. I have a lot to be grateful for as I start this day and my heart already feels it.
In God’s economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31
How thankful I am today, to know that all my past failures were necessary for me to be where I am now. Through much pain came experience and, in suffering, I became obedient. When I sought God, as I understand Him, He shared His treasured gifts. Through experience and obedience, growth started, followed by gratitude. Yes, then came peace of mind—living in and sharing sobriety.
Boy, I never thought I’d be grateful for my challenges and failures. But, I like to learn things the hard way lol-by doing it wrong and “my” way first. Those are the lessons that stick with me the most. And, those are the things that have helped me to change my life.
I CAN’T KEEP DOING THE SAME THINGS AND EXPEXT DIFFERENT RESULTS. This continues to be a huge lesson for me. If I want a new experience, I have to change. And this is exactly what AA has given me. But first I had to surrender, which I did after I screwed up my life time and time again.
“No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.” ~The promises in the big book have come true for me. My experiences can, and do, help others. It looks different than I expected it to, but that’s the beauty of it all. Life continues to surprise me and if I can do the work (I continue to work the steps in ALL areas of life) to let those changes in, beautiful things continue to arrive.
I am grateful for my challenges, my failures and my lessons as they have brought me exactly where I am today. And today, I have a lot to offer-thanks to the work I have done. I get to be of service to others, to my HP and I’m blessed for the connections I have in my life today.
A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35
Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain. As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a very different kind—the reality of sobriety. It is a reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and direction, and of serenity and peace with God, ourselves and others. By attending meetings I am reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around me. By working the program I find the direction and strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A. is that this new reality is available to me.
Where does A.A. get its direction? . . . These practical folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience. . . . The elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group’s decision, who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 132, 135
Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions. As my recovery progressed, I realized that the new mantle was tailor-made for me. The elders of the group gently offered suggestions when change seemed impossible. Everyone’s shared experiences became the substance for treasured friendships. I know that the Fellowship is ready and equipped to aid each suffering alcoholic at all crossroads in life. In a world beset by many problems, I find this assurance a unique stability. I cherish the gift of sobriety. I offer God my gratitude for the strength I receive in a Fellowship that truly exists for the good of all members.
