They [the Promises] will always materialize if we work for them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
Sometimes I think: “Making these amends is going too far! No one should have to humble himself like that!” However, it is this very humbling of myself that brings me that much closer to the sunlight of the spirit. A.A. is the only hope I have if I am to continue healing and gain a life of happiness, friendship and harmony.
Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
“We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap.” — Big Book, p. 125
How do my emotions affect me today? Am I responding with growth or reacting from old patterns?
This line actually made me laugh out loud. I’ve always been a very sensitive person. Sensitive to others, sensitive in emotions, to life around me, etc. I shut that all off with my active use. I didn’t want to feel that. Now, I’m honestly grateful when I can feel things again and be sensitive to it. The key now is I’ve been shown how to not take it all on. I try to not take things personally. I know what others have going on (good or bad) has nothing to do with me and I just do my best to stay on my side of the street and keep it clean. My old patterns or sensitivity to things from my past creep up in an unhelpful way from time to time, but it’s a new opportunity to re-wire myself into this new way of being. And I’m grateful for that today.
Above all, we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87
To have courage, to be unafraid, are gifts of my recovery. They empower me to ask for help and to go forth in making my amends with a sense of dignity and humility. Making amends may require a certain amount of honesty that I feel I lack, yet with the help of God and the wisdom of others, I can reach within and find the strength to act. My amends may be accepted, or they may not, but after they are completed I can walk with a sense of freedom and know that, for today, I am responsible.
“We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.” — Big Book, p. 73
Where in my life do I need to practice deeper honesty?
I was always so scared to be honest. I kept SO much of myself hidden, except the parts I wanted to complain about-I did that loudly and to everyone that would listen lol. But the true me, I hid away. I people pleased. I never said what I meant. I lived my life to appease other people and make them comfortable. I shrunk. I hid. I dimmed my light. And I thought I needed to be hyper independent so no one could ever hurt me again. Today I get to be honest about where I’m at. I may have boundaries and not share everything with everyone, but my sponsor and those close to me I am more open and honest than I’ve ever been. I own my shit, which I’d never done before-it was always someone else’s fault. Today I can be accountable in my life, and I get results in this program because of it. I am grateful for this today.
I am amazed every day at how much my life is improved in sobriety and recovery. Every aspect of my life is better…. Mental health, physical health, my marriage and family relationships, my self esteem. I have time to do things I enjoy! I have saved a ton of money! My anxiety is significantly decreased. Every day I get up with health and energy to have my best life. I’m so grateful that I am here.
I can relate to literally every word of this post. Honesty was a huge issue with me in the past. I wasnt honest to others for sure, but i also wasnt honest to myself. I stole, robbed, and lied to others and dismissed how i truly felt to myself. Id lie to myself so much, that I actually started to believe my lies. Thats how I lived.
Now in recovery, i no longer steal or rob (obviously) and try to catch myself when i am about to lie (this doesnt just include outright lies but also the stuff i choose not to mention or choose to minimize). Its about being honest about my feelings, my thoughts, letting people close to me into my life. Im finding it a lot of work but the outcome is beautiful. Stronger relationships (with hubby for example). Sobriety is soo good!!
For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87
In recovery, and through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learn that the very thing I fear is my freedom. It comes from my tendency to recoil from taking responsibility for anything: I deny, I ignore, I blame, I avoid. Then one day, I look, I admit, I accept. The freedom, the healing and the recovery I experience is in the looking, admitting and accepting. I learn to say, “Yes, I am responsible.” When I can speak those words with honesty and sincerity, then I am free.
“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.” — Big Book, p. 83
What actions am I taking today that show I’m living—not just talking about—my spiritual path?
There’s a big difference for me in talking the talk and walking the walk. There’s times I rest on my laurels. I may forget to ask God to help guide my day or show me the right things to do. And my life gets pretty uncomfortable quite quickly when I do lol. Today I do my best to not only connect with my HP first thing in the morning, but all throughout the day. I struggled a bit yesterday morning with the weight of the world and all that’s going on. God told me to take my dog and go for a walk in the woods. And, on a trail where I sprained my ankle badly a year ago and haven’t gone since because it still isn’t fully healed. I was completely unprepared, but I did it and A LOT of healing out there. I was able to breathe deeply. Sweat out things. Connect to God and even share a message I was guided to do while out there. I saw a ton of heart, an eagle and heard a loon. I got myself back into love & alignment and let the other shit go. But to do that, I had to be uncomfortable in a different way and give my HP the wheel. I am grateful for trusting God knows what I need, exactly when I need it.
What a beautiful experience that was had. And thank u for the reminder to connect to God today. I got so busy this morning that I forgot. Will pray now to ask foe guidance thru my day
Good judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage and prudence – these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 83
To make amends can be viewed two ways: first, that of repairing damage, for if I have damaged my neighbor’s fence, I “make a mend,” and that is a direct amend; the second way is by modifying my behavior, for if my actions have harmed someone, I make a daily effort to cause no further harm. I “mend my ways,” and that is an indirect amend. Which is the best approach? The only right approach, provided that I am causing no further harm in so doing, is to do both. If harm is done, then I simply “mend my ways.” To take action in this manner assures me of making honest amends.
“If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.” — Big Book, p. 66
What resentments might I need to let go of today to protect my sobriety?
I actually reviewed a resentment I had this week with my sponsor and we did the step work around this. When I feel that ick, and especially if I hang onto it, I know this is EXACTLY what jeopardizes my sobriety. When I carry anger, frustrations and resentments, I am spiritually sick and that leads no where good. To hold onto my sobriety, I needed to be honest and I needed to do the work around it. I have an entirely different mindset and perception now. This program and actually working it brings me freedom and I am grateful for this today.
Great reading!!
I have done both types of amends. Ive done direct amends to family and indirect amends (changing my way of behaving) when it came to potentially unsafe situations or towards businesses that I stole from. I stole products from businesses alot in the problem and so to make amends, I would give money to my fav charity and vowed to never steal again. That was, in my eyes, a way to repair the damage done. There were people who I had harmed but werent necessarily good for me to see again, so instead of putting myself in harms way, I chose to change my behaviour in how I live. I am still making financial amends by paying off my debt (which will take years). I also have written letters to those that have passed away to make amends to them. This step allows us to be free! Its such a beautiful way to live, knowing that i am living and breathing a diff way of life
Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God’s help and guidance — meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 86-87
My belief in a Higher Power is an essential part of my work on Step Nine; forgiveness, timing, and right motives are the other ingredients. My willingness to do the Step is a growing experience that opens the door for new and honest relationships with the people I have harmed. My responsible action brings me closer to the spiritual principles of the program — love and service. Peace of mind, serenity, and a stronger faith are sure to follow.
“We began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.” — Big Book, p. 84
What fears about the future can I release today, trusting that my Higher Power is guiding me?
Haha, I always find these questions so well timed! Part of my resentment work this week, I also had to acknowledge that it was about a future event. I was living in fear and lack, not in faith. I was not trusting my HP will provide for me or guide me. I had to do the work around this to shift my energy. I still have these things come up, but I have the tools I need to navigate through them today and I am grateful for this today.
Fear of the future: Lately I have seen a lot of ppl losing their sobriety and blaming it on the stress of current events. I remind myself that this is a luxury I cannot afford. I’m not special. If my social activism takes me out, with any substance, I’m doing a disservice to my recovery community and my social activism and volunteer medical clinic work. Any drug use, relapse, diminishes my power, and my access to Source-power. I have to keep going to any lengths willing to do whatever it takes to stay completely sober, one day at a time.
Absolutely. I have to work my program on the current affairs if I’m having issues with it. Only I am responsible for me, nothing outside of me can make me drink to deal with it. My actions are ALL on me. So, I’m continuing doing whatever it takes to end my day sober. That is the ONLY way I’m going to retain my sobriety, my connection to my HP and being tapped into that power to do good things to help others. The noise of the outside world has the power to take me out if I let it and doing the step work is helping me to stay centered in my recovery today.
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. . . . Life will mean something at last.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 152
Life is better without alcohol. A.A. and the presence of a Higher Power keeps me sober, but the grace of God does even better; it brings service into my life. Contact with the A.A. program teaches me a new and greater understanding of what Alcoholics Anonymous is and what it does, but most importantly, it helps to show me who I am: an alcoholic who needs the constant experience of the Alcoholics Anonymous program so that I may live a life given to me by my Higher Power.
“We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view.” — Big Book, p. 52
Where do I need to be more willing to change my outlook today?
Yesssss!!! This program has really solidified for me that my mindset was so skewed that it has me question sooooo much of my thinking in ALL aspects of life. My alcholism was but a symptom. Being able to talk to my sponsor and hear others experiences in sobriety has really opened up my mind to change my thinking and continue to change my life. Today I will look for more opportunities to do so.
. . . no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 561
Just as the Twelve Steps of A.A. are written in a specific sequence for a reason, so it is with the Twelve Traditions. The First Step and the First Tradition attempt to instill in me enough humility to allow me a chance at survival. Together they are the basic foundation upon which the Steps and Traditions that follow are built. It is a process of ego deflation which allows me to grow as an individual through the Steps, and as a contributing member of a group through the Traditions. Full acceptance of the First Tradition allows me to set aside personal ambitions, fears and anger when they are in conflict with the common good, thus permitting me to work with others for our mutual survival. Without Tradition One I stand little chance of maintaining the unity required to work with others effectively, and I also stand to lose the remaining Traditions, the Fellowship, and my life.
“We had to have God’s help. This was the foundation of our new life.” — Big Book, p. 93
How am I leaning on God’s help today as the base of my recovery?
This has been the biggest and best change since beginning this program. When I first came into the rooms, I really didn’t believe in a higher power. I honestly didn’t know what to believe. I struggled with organized religion and honestly still do. But, this program allowed me to find my own way to my higher power. It’s evolved over the years too-but I am free to do that. I’m not told how I “must” believe, I’m just asked to give it a try. And the more I began inviting that HP into my life, the more incredible the results. Today I will begin my day connecting to my HP and inviting that energy into my life and I’ll continue to do so all day to the best of my ability. The best results are always found there.
