A lot of the deliberate meeting of calamity in my life seems now, after living immersed in step work, to be caused by my inability to discern what is my obligation and what is not. Usually in an effort to help or to people-please. I always felt like I had to respond immediately to any request, part of a family dynamic that carried into school and employment, and had to be unlearned. Now, I take my time, lean in to my identity as a child of God, and considering where in God’s nature the request or demand is coming from. For me, taking haste out of the equation has removed most of what I perceive as immediate calamity as well.
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My best thoughts and actions got me to AA. My old sponsor actually called me a “Child of Chaos” bcuz my life revolved around my own selfishness and self will… causing drama and chaos practically wherever I went. I was the root of my problems. I was the common denominator. It wasnt until i entered 12 step meetings and got sober that I really realized how destructive my way of living was.
Now, I do my best every morning to turn my thinking and acting over to God. And then i will check in throughout the day to turn it over again. Bcuz my nature is to take control and I know where that gets me. I can let go in alot of situations, but occasionally some situations pop up that i really have to pray for the willingness to let it go and let God. I have to remember that acceptance is key and that o have no control over people, places, things, or often times even the outcome of situations.
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October 4~Daily Reflections
A NECESSARY PRUNING
. . . we know that the pains of drinking had to come before sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 94
I love spending time in my garden feeding and pruning my beautiful flowers. One day, as I was busily snipping away, a neighbor stopped by. She commented, “Oh! Your plants are so beautiful, it seems such a shame to cut them back.” I replied, “I know how you feel, but the excess must be removed so they can grow stronger and healthier.” Later I thought that perhaps my plants feel pain, but God and I know it’s part of the plan and I’ve seen the results. I was quickly reminded of my precious A.A. program and how we all grow through pain. I ask God to prune me when it’s time, so I can grow.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
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“The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us.”— Big Book, p. 17
How does remembering our shared struggle help me stay connected in fellowship?
For me, it helps me to remember that I’m never in it alone. That there are people who not only understand, but have done what felt impossible to me at first. I am grateful for other alcoholics who have shown me that I too can recover and have led me into the light.
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Three things remembering the shared struggle brings me: Heartfelt compassion and empathy for those still-sufferring. Curiousity and irritation with ppl who preface their desire for a fully sober life with what they WON’T do to achieve it, or why they’re different, special, smarter, more sensitive, or why their DOC doesn’t really count… Finally, the joy of a shared solution and a common frame of reference in the wayfinder provided by this simple toolkit laid at our feet, no matter what roads or how long we have taken to get there.
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October 5~Daily Reflections
YESTERDAY’S BAGGAGE
For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88
I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday’s baggage too. I must balance today’s books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
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“Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others.” — Big Book, p. 19
Where can I show more tolerance and respect today?
Ugh. Everywhere right now honestly.
I got overwhelmed yesterday and internally I was bitchy, even though I knew not to take it out on everyone else and blow up on them. It’s been a week and I don’t have my typical capacity to let numerous things roll off. So, I took some time away. I started working on my gratitude list to shift my energy. I connected to AA and my HP. I’m practicing the pause. I’m not perfect either. And being able to see that we are ALL flawed human beings helps me to shift my perspective and not blow everything up around me when things don’t go the way I would prefer them to go. It’s NOT all about me and how I want everything it turns out. 
And this helps me to build better relationships than I was capable of when everything had to go MY way.
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@MandiH fabulous readings for today! I can relate to both. First topic reminded me of the Step 10 Inventory. I actually found an app that I can use every night, which gives me questions to answer about my day. Sort of going over that inventory and making sure that I take care of what happened that day. Do I use it often? No unfortunately. But this is a great reminder to start again. I do try to make amends when they happen tho.
Yesterday, i was irritable and over tired. I always get withdrawn to my husband when im like this, and that isnt okay bcuz im not communicating what im feeling and experiencing. Being withdrawn is a character defect of mine that Im trying to change. Anyway, i realized my wrongs and came up to him shortly after and gave him a hug and told him I loved him. Im doing my best to communicate and change my ways.
This sort of leads into the 2nd topic as well. I loved what u did here:
This is incredible work!!! Im going to write this out on my phone for when i get discontent/irritable etc. Bcuz this is gold! 
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October 6~Daily Reflections
FACING OURSELVES
… and Fear says, “You dare not look!”
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
How often I avoided a task in my drinking days, just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder even if I have been sober for some time, that I will act that same way when faced with what appears to be a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I have arrived at the other side–when my inventory is completed–is that the illusion was greater than the reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an intangible.
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“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.”— Big Book, p. 85
How can I tend to my spiritual condition today so I can keep that daily reprieve?
When I am not in a great state of mind and spirit, that is when I have the absolute least defense against the first drink. If I am not connected to my HP, I am not taking care of my spiritual needs or my emotional sobriety, I am not doing my recovery work, or connecting to my program, this is where things begin to go sideways and I can easily lose my sobriety. This weekend was a bitchy one for me. I attended several meetings. I called my sponsor. I connected to my HP. And I not only felt better but I also continued to end my days sober. My worst day sober is still light-years above my best day drinking, so I am grateful I get to do the work, even more so when life is life-y. I can’t rest on my laurels and stay sober today on yesterday’s work. My reprieve is daily, and it’s contingent on doing whatever it takes to end my day sober TODAY. 
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Thank you so much for the reminder about the daily inventory! I haven’t done this in a bit, I think that would be pretty fantastic to get back into. That’s awesome you were anle to recognize that and take different actions!
@Amelie I’ve been thinking for a few days on what you said about the calamity a few days ago and I can ABSOLUTELY relate!! The obligation/people pleasing is absolutely part of my story too. Thank you so much for sharing!
You are both awesome and I appreciate you.
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How do I get one of these books?
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October 7~Daily Reflections
DAILY MONITORING
Continued to take personal inventory. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88
The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step—“every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us”—also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality.
When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
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“At first we did not want to become serious students of such a seemingly abstract matter as theology. But we soon realized that faith meant more than belief.”— Big Book, p. 93
How do I show faith today in action, not just belief?
Faith without works is dead. It isn’t enough to know, if I want results I must take action. This program is a program of action, and I am grateful for this today. I always thought what I “knew” was enough…it isn’t. And, what I thought I knew for sure, my HP often laughs and tells me to try again lol. Life is different today because of these new actions.
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Often times they have the Big Book at AA meetings near you.
They also sell them online through AA: Products > Books https://share.google/OWeHxcMa04CGRLieD
Or, you can also buy them on Amazon.
It’s the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book and the Daily Reflections books that I post from daily. 
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This post reminds me that i can not blame others for how i feel or how i behave. Just like i have no control over others, they have no control over me. I sometimes used to say, " i reacted that way bcuz of what you did". Thats not true. No matter how someone behaves to me, i have a choice today. I can choose to react, or i can choose to respond appropriately. Same goes for situations. I can choose to let it rent space in my head, or i can choose to pray about it and let it go. I havd control over how i think and act 
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Yesssss!!! This morning while in the shower, it came to me how differently I have reframed my story. I claimed victim to outside circumstances and had this whole, “woe is me” story. I gave away my power and forgot that I actually FULLY had a choice in the life I chose to live as an adult. I put up with (and put out) a lot of shit in my active use and I’m SO grateful I get to make new conscious choices today in my recovery. My life, my reactions, decisions and my perceptions are all mine to own today.
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October 8~Daily Reflections
DAILY INVENTORY
. . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
I was beginning to approach my new life of sobriety with unaccustomed enthusiasm. New friends were cropping up and some of my battered friendships had begun to be repaired. Life was exciting, and I even began to enjoy my work, becoming so bold as to issue a report on the lack of proper care for some of our clients. One day a co-worker informed me that my boss was really sore because a complaint, submitted over his head, had caused him much discomfort at the hands of his superiors. I knew that my report had created the problem, and began to feel responsible for my boss’s difficulty. In discussing the affair, my co-worker tried to reassure me that an apology was not necessary, but I soon became convinced that I had to do something, regardless of how it might turn out. When I approached my boss and owned up to my hand in his difficulties, he was surprised. But unexpected things came out of our encounter, and my boss and I were able to agree to interact more directly and effectively in the future.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
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“We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way.” — Big Book, p. 67
How can I respond with patience instead of reacting with anger today?
Practicing the pause is HUGE for me with this! My snap reactions are rarely the right thing. But taking that step back allows me to gain a higher perspective. I can connect to my HP. To my sponsor. To my program. And then I can respond instead of react so I don’t have to add to my step work lol.
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October 9~Daily Reflections
A SPIRITUAL AXIOM
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90
I never truly understood the Tenth Step’s spiritual axiom until I had the following experience. I was sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours, when suddenly I heard my dogs barking in the back yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of disturbance so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame, as well as fear of my neighbors’ disapproval, I immediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the exact situation repeated itself but this time, because I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able to accept the situation—dogs will bark—and I calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me that when a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it is not the event which is of prime importance, but the person’s spiritual condition. Feelings come from inside,not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is positive, I react positively.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
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