“We are sure that our own experiences are going to help others. That faith is bound to work.”— Big Book, p. 94
How can I use my own experience today to strengthen someone else’s hope?
This is precisely what spirit is asking me to do lately. To share more of myself with others. Because just being our authentic selves can help others in so many ways. Today I will make a conscious effort to follow that guidance instead of letting my fears win. My experience can shine a light that gives others hope and a path forward. I am grateful to be of service today.
I struggle with this a bit… being my authentic self with others. When it comes to TS, i am an open book. I can talk about my addictions, being in the sex trade, my experiences with DV etc. But in the “real” world i rarely open up about it. I guess bcuz i feel like my past could effect my life today. I dont feel like everyone needs to know about my life bcuz in all honesty, people can be very judgemental. I dont need it effected my workplace for example. So idk. If the opportunity arises where someone is in need and i can relate to their situation, for sure I will open up to share my experience, strength, and hope. But for day to day interactions, i wont.
Discernment is absolutely going to be key for me, and putting my HP in charge of what I do share. Not everyone has a right to know everything, and I absolutely have zero intention on sharing everything. Some is fine. But I am in a place in my recovery and life where I do have more to offer than what I’ve allowed myself to share. It’s so much easier here than it is with the outside world. But, if it helps me grow, I will trust what I’m being asked to do outside of the rooms and will do my best to trust the process.
Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 67
Sometimes I don’t realize that I gossiped about someone until the end of the day, when I take an inventory of the day’s activities, and then, my gossiping appears like a blemish in my beautiful day. How could I have said something like that? Gossip shows its ugly head during a coffee break or lunch with business associates, or I may gossip during the evening, when I’m tired from the day’s activities, and feel justified in bolstering my ego at the expense of someone else.
Character defects like gossip sneak into my life when I am not making a constant effort to work the Twelve Steps of recovery. I need to remind myself that my uniqueness is the blessing of my being, and that applies equally to everyone who crosses my path in life’s journey. Today the only inventory I need to take is my own. I’ll leave judgment of others to the Final Judge — Divine Providence.
“We found that the Great Reality was deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found.”— Big Book, p. 55
What helps me quiet the noise and connect with that inner presence of God?
Well, this week I was shown that I haven’t been doing enough of this. So my HP has been speaking to me through my dreams as that’s the only time it’s quiet. I’ve been listening to a lot of audio books and not journaling. I still hear the messages, but there’s a lot that I miss. I connect and talk to god, but I’m not making enough space to really be able to clearly listen to what is trying to be shared with me. I am a work in progress, in so many areas right now. But today I will consciously SLOW DOWN and listen. I’m grateful all these messages are showing me where I can continue to improve
I love both of today’s readings. It will help my recovery to work with the content of both. So often, I catch myself talking about another person in their absence, and even if it’s information that is okay and needs to be conveyed, the boundary is really easy to cross…and I notice as well when others do it. Recently, I was at a work event and had a fancy AF drink glued to my hand, a polyphenols special, all fruit and some coconut blended in. A colleague asked about it, and then ended up sharing that his wife was a Covid Alcoholic. He was already a few drinks in, so I let it pass, but I really thought about how casually he shared in her absence. The other reading, on making time to seek God’s will through prayer and meditation: It struck me yesterday while I was driving on a beautiful sunny day, that I have recently had more Please than Thank You in my prayers and musings in God’s presence, except when I’m out in Nature. When I’m alone I play recovery podcasts all night, often, so even then I’m preoccupied. Thank you for the reminder that I can work on awareness and change both of these today.
I can relate to these, especially the please and thank you! I’ve been mindful lately to ask my HP to work through me instead of asking for my own wishlist and to give gratitude. I’m actually just sitting in nature, finishing my gratitude list for the day and I truly do have a lot to be thankful for.
This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
During my early years in A.A. I saw Step Ten as a suggestion that I periodically look at my behavior and reactions. If there was something wrong, I should admit it; if an apology was necessary, I should give one. After a few years of sobriety I felt I should undertake a self-examination more frequently. Not until several more years of sobriety had elapsed did I realize the full meaning of Step Ten, and the word “continued.” “Continued” does not mean occasionally, or frequently. It means throughout each day.
“To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.”— Big Book, p. 93
What unselfish action can I take today to keep my faith alive?
By following the guidance of my HP and helping others, I get out of the shackles of “me”. I get to be a part of a greater whole. I get to be a cog on a wheel instead of one that just spins on her own. I’m grateful to understand the power in this today.
@MandiH I really liked both posts today!! Thank u for sharing, as always
My sponsor used to drill it into me that one of the best courses of action to battle depression or self pity or worry etc is to be of service to others. It gets us out of self and out of our current situations and instead focuses on others. It really does work! Brings in a sense of gratitude for me too.
Doing a “thorough” step 10 every night does not happen often for me. I try to obviously apologize when one is necessary and if im dishonest I fix it, etc but to do an actual inventory every night is something i dont always do. I like that they use the word “continued” bcuz it tells me exactly what i must do to have a solid recovery.
I always struggle with that daily inventory. I may look into a worksheet, because if I just think back on the day without a checklist, there’s usually more that I could have done better than I remember. For now, I try to go over my communications of all kinds using the THINK standard: is it True, Helpful, Inspiring or Inspired, Necessary to be said at all / to be said by me, Kind. Then a check of the day’s events against the paggles, and after both of these, I know where I may need to make an amends. I don’t feel like I’m good at this self-evaluation, but I haven’t been doing it long enough or consistently enough yet.
Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85
How do I maintain my spiritual condition? For me it’s quite simple: on a daily basis I ask my Higher Power to grant me the gift of sobriety for that day! I have talked to many alcoholics who have gone back to drinking and I always ask them: “Did you pray for sobriety the day you took your first drink?” Not one of them said yes. As I practice Step Ten and try to keep my house in order on a daily basis, I have the knowledge that if I ask for a daily reprieve, it will be granted.
“He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.”— Big Book, p. 84
Where do I see evidence that my Higher Power is doing for me what I couldn’t do alone?
Not only is my HP doing for me what I could not do for myself, but connecting with other people has allowed me to do SO much more than I ever could alone. I see my HP work through people alllllllll the time. It used to be primarily in the rooms, but now I see it happen outside of the rooms too. I am grateful for not trying to do it all on my own anymore.
I love this!!! In active addiction, my HP was absolutely working in my life, however I was too involved in my addiction and too “closed off” to see it. Many things shouldve happened in active addiction, that didnt and I know now that my HP was working overtime to help me.
In recovery (and being more open-minded), i have seen my HP work in many ways, usually thru other people. Literally my HP has helped me and my family in some incredible ways. We have always been taken care of. Our needs have always been met. We may not get always what we want but we are given everything we need
True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
My alcoholic thinking led me to believe that I could control my drinking, but I couldn’t. When I came to A.A., I realized that God was speaking to me through my group. My mind was open just enough to know that I needed His help. A real, honest acceptance of A.A. took more time, but with it came humility. I know how insane I was, and I am extremely grateful to have my sanity restored to me and to be a sober alcoholic. The new, sober me is a much better person than I ever could have been without A.A.
“We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.”— Big Book, p. 75
How comfortable am I in quiet moments with myself today?
Honestly, this has always been the easiest thing for me. I have always been comfortable with my alone time and in my own company. My bigger challenge has been in being with others. Life has been really freaking busy these days and I’ve been trying to find more time to purposefully connect to myself…That isn’t always easy. Like right now, instead of hanging out with the family I set my boundary and took some time away. I wrote today’s gratitude list, I am doing these reflections, my journaling and talking to God. I’m worth taking the time I need for me and finding balance.
The principle that we shall find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole Society has sprung and flowered.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 21-22
Defeated, and knowing it, I arrived at the doors of A.A., alone and afraid of the unknown. A power outside of myself had picked me up off my bed, guided me to the phone book, then to the bus stop, and through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. Once inside A.A. I experienced a sense of being loved and accepted, something I had not felt since early childhood. May I never lose the sense of wonder I experienced on that first evening with A.A., the greatest event of my entire life.
“A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, ‘a design for living’ that really works.”— Big Book, p. 28
In what ways is my life beginning to follow a design that truly works?
My family life was dysfunctional. I had no idea how to live a healthy life in any way, shape, or form. Not mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. I needed an entirely new way of life and this program gave that to me. It really does work if I work it and today I’m beyond grateful for this design for living.
Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed’s image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that he assume responsibility for their care. Each morning he would find the unavoidable “byproducts” of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldn’t get angry because “that’s the nature of puppies.” Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. I’ve often found solace from my personal confusion in Ed’s calming concept of God.
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness."— Big Book, p. 68
How can I stand confidently in my spiritual path today, without apology?
I was SO one of those people. Someone who thought it was weak to depend on God. I used to think it was just something to believe in so you went to heaven when we die. Man, I was SO wrong. Today I rely on my HP constantly, and I remind others to do the same. It’s actually very powerful. My own will and direction for my life brought me to the bottom of the bottle and to misery. It closed door after door. I am grateful my HP continues to open those doors back up and so many more in my life. I had the gift of desperation that allowed me the willingness to try surrendering to my HP. Nothing has been the same since, and I am grateful for that.
