@z_james_kick and @JVKE make the excellent point - you have failed to mention anything about how you managed to stay off the stuff for your 40 days. Avoidance, white knuckling, even distraction via hobbies or yoga or the gym, are all short term strategies, but they are not a plan to stay sober. I hope you see the difference.
I’ll tell you what struck me when I wanted desperately to get sober, made the decision, and cast around for a plan. The people in AA have this going for them - they know how to stay sober and at the time I did not. The idea of higher power is often oversold in AA and NA (your mileage may vary) as being god-centric and in particular Christian, but what it really is about, for me, is the connection between that part of me that is not logical or emotional, that is the energy that makes me alive, and the source of that energy. More metaphysics than religion, for me, and for lots of people around here. Our AA here is wonderful that way, the biggest damn tent you ever did see.
Back to my point - to get sober and stay sober, I had involuntary accountability for my abstinence (court orders to provide daily breath samples), I got on meds specific to alcoholism, I went to counseling, I went to AA, I went to intensive outpatient. I did something every day to make sure I laid a sober head on my pillow at night. What I have heard is that hope is a great motivation and a lousy strategy. Take steps, be honest, be willing to get uncomfortable, and don’t stop. Keep moving forward. In the athletic racing world, we say puking is ok, crying is ok, stumbling is ok, crawling is ok, but keep moving forward.
Here are some threads that have helpful info and experience for you to check out. Blessings on your house , as you take up your journey again.
, as you take up your journey again.