Trying to be kind to myself. It was so easy the first time… I held onto sobriety for so long but the last year has not been pretty and I can’t go down this road again.
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Hi Brandi and welcome. Sounds like you have had much success in the past. The pandemic has made the struggle more challenging for many. I’m so glad you are here on TS.
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Thanks… every step forward is something
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Welcome Brandi.
Have a good read around here. This place has been a great place for me to get support in my sobriety. Addiction is too tough to go it alone. We are stronger in numbers. And we are all worth it.
Here are two good threads to start:
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Thank you.
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I’m glad you are here !! It may be hard but u r not alone !! Anytime u feel u need to reach out u can contact me:) I’m rooting for u and cheering u on. Dont let the 1day sober get u down. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it minute by minute if u have to. Ure a big deal and u deserve to be good to ureself!!!
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I relate to this so much. I went back out after 3.5 years a few weeks into COVID. Fast forward to now, my son is nearly two years old and I’m just finally waking up and letting my body detox heading into day 7. The amount of shame and embarrassment was nearly unbearable those first few nights but I promise it does get better each and every hour that passes without a drink or a drug.
Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel emotions that you’ve bottled for so long. Until I faced my biggest fears of living my life without the use of any chemicals I had zero idea what feelings felt like. Now that I’m discovering them, I find the feelings hurt like hell but the relief I feel letting it out opposed to burying it inside has been an insane awakening for me. Just keep coming back and leaning on the many of us here, together we can all keep on keepin on 
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