Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers

Below is a list of common questions that newcomers to the community ask. This FAQ is a Wiki and is maintained by our long term community members. Anyone of Trust level 3 and higher can edit and contribute to this.

Advice for the newcomer

Advice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser

(Different Aspects of Recovery)

Resources for our recovery

(What was anyone’s experience in the first month of sobriety?)

(Tips for getting and staying sober)

(Good riddance to hangovers! (And other things I don't miss))

(What has been your greatest ally in quitting?)

(Podcast Reccommendations?)

Hobbies and Interests

Tips for handling cravings

(Leigh's Guide to Crush Cravings: Part.1)

(Tips on how to manage cravings)

What about moderation?

(How often did u try moderation before realising it wasn't working? (if that is ur situation))

(Abstinance Vs. Moderation)

(Newbie/ drinking in moderation?)

PAWS / Withdrawals from alcohol

(PAWS (post-acute-withdrawal-symptoms) what are your stories or experiences)

Posting under the influence

Posting under the influence info

Where do I find a sponsor?

FAQ: Sponsorship

Does AA work?

To A.A. or not to A.A:

What are some good alternatives to AA?

Staying sober without AA

Does anyone else feel that they don’t need AA?:

Should I reset my timer?
Generally speaking, if you are asking this question, then the answer is ‘yes’. There are some very edge-case scenarios where you don’t have to reset, like when you accidentally swallowed some mouthwash. If your goal was to stop drinking/using, and you did intentionally drink/use then you should reset. Be completely honest with yourself. There’s no need for shame here. Relapses are actually a very common and normal part of the recovery process and the important thing is that you learn from them.

How do I know I’m an alcoholic?

(What makes an alcoholic, an alcoholic?):

(Let's to fill the points together! 😉)

I had a dream about relapsing. Is it normal?

(Relapse dream last night)

Should I go to the party, wedding, holiday get together? And what about drink after work?

(You don't have to go - strategies to protect your sobriety)

(Advice for holidays, parties, weddings, etc)

("Let's grab drinks")

First sober party :see_no_evil:

(Looking for Wedding Tips)

Am I ready for a relationship?
(I dont know if ill be able to find a relationship again)

What are common scenarios or reasons for relapsing?
Relapses are usually attributed to certain ‘triggers’: events or scenarios that cause you to relapse. These triggers are different for every person, but there are a few common triggers. Here are a few examples:

  • Going to a social event before you’re ready (e.g. a birthday party after one week of sobriety)
  • Having extra money to spend (payday just came and you have money to burn)
  • Spending too much time with your old drinking/using buddies
  • Boredom

There are many more reasons, and it’s advised that you find and avoid your triggers. Have a look at the relapses category to see posts about people who’ve relapsed in the past.

Can I drink non-alcoholic beer?

(Dealcoholized wine)

(Non alcohol beer)

Alcohol free beer - yes or no?

My partner still drinks

(Does your partner still drink? Some threads you may find helpful)

(Are you affected by a loved one who is an addict?)

(How can I stay sober when I live with someone who drinks?)

(Is it difficult to stay sober if your partner drinks at home?)


This thread is filled with gems of threads for those of us trying to maintain sobriety. Take a look around and see if any of the info fits for you or gives you some helpful suggestions. I know for myself that reading other people’s advice and experiences was extremely helpful in my early sobriety.

Edited to add…it is all pre pandemic…so some of it may not feel relevant anymore. If so, let me know and I can update.