So here I am. Day 1. After years of binge drinking. Not every day. But whenever I drank I never stopped. Most times I would black out and when I woke up would hope I didn’t do anything hurtful or harmful. But a lot of times I was very hurtful. Last night, my husband and I had a very bad fight. After I drank too much. And he asked me for a divorce. Our two kids will be devastated. I have ruined all of our lives. How could I have let this happen?? I just want to die. I want to go away and forget that I caused such chaos for my husband and kids.
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Congrats on making this decision @Hopeful3. Now let’s start the work on your recovery. I’m glad you’re here. Tells me you know you can’t do it alone. Let this be your rock bottom and take it from there. You can do this, but it takes work. Lots of it possibly. Lots of things went wrong because of drinking so there’s a lot to repair or rebuild or even create totally new. Challenging but doable. I’m very glad you’ve made the first step by coming here. Wishing you all success. Big hugs.
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Thank you for your kind words. You are right, I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of relationships to try and rebuild. I just hope I’m not too late. I don’t know what I will do if I lose my husband and kids.
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Congrats on day 1. Like they say, “one day or day one”. Congrats on your journey.
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I’m glad you found us Hopeful.
Congratulations on day 1.
When I first started my sober journey all I had to do was take it one day at a time. No, it is not easy. But just for today you and me don’t have to drink.
It sounds to me like you got a lot to be grateful for when you’re sober. A beautiful husband 2 children. You probably got a roof over your head.
I do a gratitude list every day right here to set my mind straight in a positive attitude to start my day. Every day. Right here Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #5
I got so much to be grateful for if I do not drink. I’m sure you do too.
I don’t know how much damage you’ve done but there are many resources out there to help you. You do not have to do it alone. I could not do it alone. I tried. And failed. But now that I got support I am doing it!
If it’s not too late,
Get your ass to a meeting or find some kind of support and show your husband you are committed to sobriety. One day at a time.
We are here to help too. This has been a great resource for my sobriety.
Have a good read around. Join in when you you really want sobriety.
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Day 1 too, a little bit scared and it’s okay, a little bit anxious and self guilt tripping and it’s fine. Your mind will play all the games on you to try and make you go back. Don’t listen to these thoughts, remember always that this is the best thing you can do for your family. Stay strong
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Thank you for all the support @Dazercat Today I won’t drink. And I will take it one day at a time. I do have a lot to be grateful for and a gratitude journal sounds like a great idea!
@Islam314 So true that this is the best thing I can do for my family. Congrats on day one. Hope you are able to stay strong and also find support here.
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This won’t be Easy. Try to attend meetings and read stories here. You are not alone in this ans you’ll feel It. Everyday is a New chance. Wishing you the best 
I can hear your pain and desperation. It is an awful feeling to hurt your loved ones. You cannot control what your husband will do next. You can control what you do next. Have you tried to quit before? How? AA or other programs are not just for everyday drinkers. If alcohol is causing you problems you can find people who relate and care. Be active here too. I hurt my kids tremendously when I was drinking. I hate to think how much worry and fear I caused them. I am so glad now they can rely on me.
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Thank you for sharing and as I was told there is hope and a way out. When i heard that i never had to drinking again and there was a solution i thought these ppl was crazy n they said keep coming back don’t leave before the miracle happens. Well i took they suggestions and gave myself a chance to live and today but for the grace of God my higher power i haven’t had a drink in 5yrs. Today i take it one day at a time.
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Your story is very similar to mine. I have 2 small kids (both under 3) and going through a divorce. Drinking was the root to all my problems and after my last blacked out night 8 days ago, I woke up hungover and miserable as usual. You are not alone I promise. An amazing thing you have done is download this app. There is a strong community here and we all support each other. Kids are resilient and they will love and see a happier healthier you! You got this 🫶🏽
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I think if you do this 4 U and give your husband back the person that he married in time he hopefully he will forgive you. Gotta find the strength inside to quit alcohol be strong:+1:
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Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I made it the whole day without a drink and it didn’t even bother me when I was around alcohol and could have had a drink. I anticipate it getting harder the longer i go without drinking but right now I’m just happy I made day one. This community is very helpful. I was looking around and came across some great reading suggestions. I started listening to Annie Graces podcast called The Naked Mind, named after her book. It has already changed my perspective of drinking and why we drink. Definitely eye opening. I plan to get her book and give it a thorough read. It was amazing waking up this morning knowing exactly what happened last night. Free from anxiety of my actions as well as completely rested, feeling energized and not hungover. For today, I plan on working out, spending time with family, and enjoying a clean and hungover free day. Hope everyone has a great day!
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Such a great start 4 U your mind will blossom with creativity as time goes. Stay strong and have a great weekend with your family.
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Welcome to the greatest support system and group of people youll ever meet. We are all here for you throughout this journey. Ive been on this app for 4 years and with every post and update i am showered with love and support from the most amazing people. Keep checking in. We are here for you. Welcome to the family.
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