Hi @Vic11.11 welcome to Talking Sober 
Sorry to hear you’re struggling. It sucks to be on that endless loop of addiction 
There’s lots of good advice above. I’ve found online meetings helpful. There’s a list of recovery groups here (Resources for our recovery), many of them have online meetings, and there’s also online meetings at In the Rooms: Online Recovery Community, Live Addiction Meetings &12 Step Meetings Online
You can do it if you keep learning from people who have more experience than you. It works; it is possible to find freedom and keep it.