Hi Jen and welcome to Talking Sober. It sounds like you’re done with the BS of addiction - good! It’s a chance to make some changes and learn to live different. It is possible.
I find learning very helpful, and I’ve also joined groups. There’s a list of books and podcasts and groups here:
Don’t give up. It is possible if you take it one day at a time, stay humble and open-minded, and seek advice from people who have made progress in their recovery.