Hi, I’m Amanda and I’m back at day 1. Alcohol is my DOC. I started this recovery process back in May when I admitted out loud for the first time ever that I’m an alcoholic and I can’t control my drinking. I’ve known it’s been an issue for years but could never really be honest with myself about it, much less honest with anyone else. I finally realized moderation is not an option for me. So far, the longest I’ve been able to make it was 27 days before I relapsed. One month seems impossible, much less a YEAR! I’ve been trying different resources like podcasts, books, meditation, yoga. This time, I’m trying to focus on finding my community in sobriety. One podcast said “you can’t think your way out of an addiction, you need support and community.” Ive been to one AA meeting and felt super uncomfortable. I’m a very shy person at first (the fact that I’m posting this is terrifying and very unlike me lol) and walking into a room where I don’t know anyone gives me horrible anxiety. But I’m going to try it again tonight. Maybe try a different meeting this time. 
There are so many different resources, I’m just trying to find ones that will work. The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results
Hi, the fact that you are here and attempting to change your life shows your a lot stronger than you think you are. Here is a code for 24 hour zoom meetings, you don’t have to speak and you don’t even have to have your camera on and it’s all from the comfort of your own home. Don’t be worried about what you post on here bc we all know how you feel and want to help you with absolutely no judgement
I wish you well on your journey, keep posting and keep us up to date. You don’t have to do this alone anymore
I can so relate to your story, Amanda. Im on day 9 after several attempts since 2017. The longest period of sobriety was six months for me. Im also not capable of moderation - I was a smoker for years and always envied my friends who could just smoke on the weekends. I went to my first meeting last week and was really uncomfortable as well. Im looking at other meetings to try but it may have just been first time nerves. This app has helped me a lot in the meantime. Best of luck - we can do this!
Hey Amanda.
Welcome to this great sobriety forum.
This has been a great place for me to get support for my sobriety. I could never do it alone. And now that I got support I’m doing it and it’s fantastic.
Like Charlie said. Have a good read around and join in when your comfortable. If you have any questions? Everyone is pretty helpful around here. Just ask.
I hope to see you around.
Advice for new comers and constant relapsers
Hey Amanda! I’m rite there with you one day ahead of you! I fell off the wagon for around 8 months but I’m back if you ever need to talk feel free to message me!
Welcome Amanda! This forum and the support have been a huge factor in my 28 days AF for the first time ever! We’re here for you, tons of support, understanding and insights!
I’d love to hear from either of them! Hang in there, Amanda! Things can improve if you’re willing to work at it.
Welcome! You’ve found an amazing community full of supportive people and great advice. Glad you’re here
Thank you so much! I’m going to check it out
Hi Amanda and welcome here!
Good of you to try different meetings! Hope the next meeting will suit you better.
I’m addicted to alcohol as well. I’m here because I needed people “who gets it” around me.
So I’m here a lot. Sometimes I just read and sometimes I ask for advice ore help ore give some myself. I hope you stick around, TS is a good instrument to use beside all others you are going to collect in your “toolbox”. AA is such instrument as well.
Read around, you will find many tips and information here in how to become and stay sober! Use the magnificent glass above to find them.
See you! 
Amanda! I’m so happy that you are here. I’ve been trying to get sober since june. It’s not easy! Turns out when you’ve been doing the same thing for years and working hard to not feel your feelings it’s really hard to get out of that rut. I’ve been going to AA meetings and really trying hard to listen for similarities and not differences. That said, different meetings have different vibes. I’d suggest trying different meetings until you find one that feels good to you. I’ve definitely been to some that felt horrible, but once I found one that felt good it’s been an invaluable resource. Getting plugged in with a community of sober people is super helpful. I can’t even put words to how good it is. It will give you hope and help.
I have found online meetings better, and I listened for months before sharing. And then it was months of very short, panicked shares.
There is also the daily check-in thread, and the daily gratitude thread, that the same people post regularly and u can get to know them.
Welcome to the forum. I hope you can find what you’re looking for in this place. Definitely try others too. Have as many tools in your belt as you need. Dive in though. The more you put in, the more you get back.
Hey Amanda, welcome! You’ve done amazing things so far, admitting we are alcoholic and powerless over it so that we can not moderate is HUGE! Super proud of you. I too, couldn’t even make it a month sober. I’d try but by day 29 I’d be like OK well my 30 day break to prove I’m not alcoholic is over soooo…let’s drink! I never made it 30 days. Today I’m sober 1291 days, we just take them one day at a time. It was WAY too daunting to think about forever so just for today, I will do whatever it takes to stay sober and tomorrow I will wake up and do the same.
I’m also super proud of you for making it into that meeting! My first time was soooooo uncomfortable as well. I actually only walked in because a girlfriend was with me, I wanted to run away. But, the power in those rooms, sitting next to people with decades of sobriety, was pretty incredible. Doing things that are different for me is never comfortable but that’s kind of the point these days for me-I actually find myself WANTING to do the uncomfortable things now because thats where I’m going to grow and try something different to change things.
I loved what you said too about not being able to think your way into sobriety and needing the community-I absolutely found that true myself too. I’m so glad you are here! Keep going, try new meetings, chat with people on here, I find community is important-I always thought I could do it on my own and that it was weak to accept help…turns out this was totally opposite of reality. It is powerful and much good can be found as it works if you work it. Stay with it girl, you are worthy of ALL the amazing gifts sobriety can bring for you!
You might try ‘The Sober School’
Google it. It’s a women from England that helps women stop drinking.
Hey I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you and that you are not your addiction it’s something you battle but you csn n will win this battle one day at a time. You are worth such more then that life can give you