Good afternoon,
So after a valentines day weekend binge, I’m here - Day 1 of wanting to stay sober. I’ve been feeling like this for some time now, months infact, but planned that today would be the day.
I’m a married mum of 2 daughters and live a lovely life. For the past 5 yrs i’ve drunk more than I should but more so the past 2 years. I drink 2 bottles of strong white wine most evenings, maybe more if I started early. I dont even know why it started or why its gotten worse but i guess my tolerance has gotten higher and im just feeding that. I’m not a fall over drunk kind of person and carry drinking very well, that’s the problem tbh. It’s gotten to the point people question why I havent got a glass in my hand they’re that used to it. I honestly just so fed of drinking, feeling like I need it, not remembering things the next morning, the anxiety, the guilt becuase I promised I wasn’t going to drink again but Im £25 down and Im a let down to myself again.
My husband is super supportive and is always trying to help. I tell him not to buy me it, then he doesnt and I get mad at him. Vicious circle! Alchol addiction runs in my family - My Grandad and his sister were alcoholics and my dad isn’t addicted but it makes him an angry drunk so he doesn’s drink anymore. I’ve never considered myself an addict because I don’t need one for breakfast etc but I know something’s going on because my body reacts when I dont drink.
This group looks great already and im looking forward to reading your stories and getting support etc.
So I’m armed with bottled water and vitamin B complex. Should I try anything else?
DeeDee welcome, and congratulations on taking your first step towards turning the page and creating a new story for yourself.
Like you I didn’t have a problem…until it was a problem. I Was a binge drinker throughout my teens and adult life…then I hit my mid thirties and that weekend binging started to move into the week…at first it was wine. Would drink at night alone. Then I moved to vodka…easily concealed I thought; until I drank it all and was just an absolute mess.
Like you, I have a husband who is kind, forgiving and patient, but my behavior and poor choices were wearing on him and my Dad. Again, like you I come from along line of alcoholics, and my Dad saw the signs…and tried to reason with me. I couldn’t see the problem until it was slapping me in the face, and I finally realized that my decisions were destroying everything I loved most in the world.
I am 2 months AF…not super long, but I’m working hard everyday to stay the course. My advice to you is to change your routine in every way you can. Incorporate new things like walking…I know it’s cold but get out there! It’s beautiful, truly. I read more, I come here everyday…multiple times a day. Again, reading…I write, and if I can, encourage.
We share a common past, we are in this present moment, and with work we can write the chapter of freedom for the future together …ALL of US!
You cannot do this alone…talk to your husband, share your thoughts and feelings. Your going to have bad days, but your also going to have absolutely brilliant ones too!
Stay focused and fight for you! You’re worth it and can do it!
Hello!! Such a big welcome to you!! Danielle, this is where you need to be:-)
I was 100% you 43 days ago… I am excited to see you kicking this into your past life memories. You will be amazed by all the positive things that can happen to you once you commit.
You dont have to do it alone! I started here, like you. Then was encouraged to find other resources, which I did, and I love. Here are some for you. Resources for our recovery
Check in daily, post, read. You are in a community of people who get it. I know for me, my family and friends just didnt get it. Some had no idea I drank as much as I did. White wine was my posion too, dont get me started on the damage I could do to a box of wine, who really even drinks that shit ?!? And when I tried to quit in the past they would look at me like I had grown a 2nd head.
Proud of you! Take one day at a time. Make this a priority! That is really really hard for mums and wives. But you need to make it so. Go for walks, journal, spend time alone sitting and feeling.
I also like the gratitude thread, It helps center me and makes me focus on the positives in my world.
Don’t let alcohol keep fooling you, DeeDee ~ you’re definitely addicted. Alcohol will trick you using your own voice in your head. When you think it’s you reassuring yourself that it’s okay to have a couple drinks, that’s the alcohol using your own voice to trick you. We welcome you to our wonderful community, all gathered together to support and encourage each other to stay sober from whatever drug of choice is the particular curse. Alcohol is a poison that gradually takes over lives and then destroys them. I am 543 days sober today and I’m amazed at that number after quitting so many times in the past, and the main reason for my success is this community. I was a weekend drinker for years and years and gradually, over years, alcohol used my voice to reassure me that it was okay to drink during the week and then why not every day and then I wanted a drink every morning and I realized, hey wait a second, I’m frickin addicted! I discovered this community and I lived here for my first six months. I still check in a couple times a day to catch up on the memes and browse the stories to remind myself that alcohol is not our friend. I’m so glad you’re here, DeeDee. I think the most important thing is to distract yourself as much as possible in the beginning, until you get stronger, probably 30 days or so. Drink lots of water, laze in bed reading as much as possible, and pamper yourself. I know this is a cliché but it’s really true ~ if I can do it, you definitely can do it!
You’re making a good choice. I wasn’t a falling down drunk either, but it was a problem. One of the hard parts (for me anyway), is that as a creature of habit, I do certain things as certain times, so when drinking went away, I struggled for something to fill that time. Be ready and have a plan, I read a lot and binge watched the show intervention. I hit some Zoom AA meetings, and kept a journal. Eventually started working out and taking my health very seriously (sounds like a lot, but it wasn’t, and I’ve only been around for about 75 days, but have had about 18 months in the past). For the first couple weeks it’s hard to get past the fact that everything is framed by the thing you’re not doing.
Ahh this is amazing, thank you so much for reaching out - it honest means a lot. 2 months is incredible, you should be so proud of yourself! I’ll take all this on board. Good luck xxx
Welcome Danielle.
What a wonderful day to be on day 1 sober.
Your story sounds like mine. But I did it 45 years of my life. Somehow God had an angle watching out for me and somehow I managed to survive. If that’s what you want to call surviving. I don’t really have any devastating alcoholic stories to tell. But I finally realize fat drunk and hungover was no way to enter my bronze years. I planned my sobriety 010220 American dates. I found this app and I don’t drink anymore. I even made it through my 60th birthday without drinking. And I owe it solely to this app and all the great people on it that have supported me on my journey.
I find my biggest tool to be the gratitude. Everyday day. Seriously, every signal day I come here and do my gratitude list on the gratitude thread. We all have so much to be grateful for when we are sober.
Good luck on your journey. Your worth it and I bet those 2 lovely daughters and that supportive husband are worth it too.
I feel so much better already just reading these posts and I can’t thank you all enough - seriosuly! I’m having a pepsi max and reading through everyones stories. Im also putting a plan in place for tomorrow. Im not anticipating a good sleep, I haven’t normally when I’ve tried to quit.
Tomorrow’s a new say and im excited for it
Hi Deedee,
Welcome aboard.
I’m on day 8, so also at the start of this journey. I too struggle to sleep, always relied on the alcohol, but I’ve found an app that really helps. It’s called Let’s Meditate and there are different sleep stories, I’m asleep in seconds .
Hope to see you around
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