I have had a bad few days and all I want to do is drink. Numb everything. Leave the world bc I’m blacked out. I want to do shots until everything is a blur.
I know my life is better now, but drinking when things are bad is a really familiar pattern that seems comforting. Rationally , I know drinking will likely ruin things, but I don’t care.
Needed to get this feeling out. Thanks for reading.
Welcome here. So glad you can vent here. Please don’t pick up a drink. I am sure you know drinking will not be better than sobriety. You have made it 151 days. Stay here and post, read and celebrate your accumulation of sober days. You can make it fun and exciting counting the days without alcohol. I am on 205, 8 days from 7 months…and I am newly sober compared to some wonderful wise folk here with years and years of Sober Happiness and contentment. Sure some days are poopy. Most are amazing.
Welcome to the community!
Bad days happen, it’s called life. When a bad day happens, there is nothing you can do to change it, I know, I’ve tried.
When I have a bad day these days, I just give up on my responsibilities and go for a hike. It clears the mind and the exercise works out pent up stress and it’s a helluva lot healthier (and safer) than trying to find comfort at the bottom of a bottle. Give it a try! Worst case, you still are having a bad day.
Thanks for writing.
I feel like I cannot celebrate my sober days bc of why I had to make the change. I was awful and mean to the most important person in my life.
205? Wow!
Every sober day is a celebration in my opinion no matter what led you here. Sending you comfort thoughts.
Hi,
Are you on day 151??? That is absolutely outstanding if you are.
I’m having a really bad day too. I’d love to escape it but that will only make tomorrow a bad day as well. 
Better one bad day than many. 
congratulations 
on that 151 day’s thats amazing!
Is this person still in your life? I was horrible to people too. And people horrible to me. I do regret how I treated my Dad. I loved him so much but we both drank. If we didn’t drink I’m sure we wouldn’t have disagreed about the silly things. All I know is even though we were both awful to each other at times the pain I feel now he iljad passed away is testament to how strong our love was. We had time to put all the small stuff behind us thank god. We fight with the ones we love most I think.
My best tool for staying sober is playing the tape till the end…I basically play out in my mind where my drinking will take me. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme…but I know drinking will not help with my sadness or depression.
I’ll still feel the same the next morning, but now I’ll have a hangover and shame.
So yeah sometimes I hate how often I feel depressed and wish I could be normal and not have to struggle so much to be happy…but drinking will never help me out of a dark place, it will only keep me there longer
My experience i got a good foundation and network round me and had a good defence when it came to stinking thinking. If you took a drink to make life easy take it from me it dont work and when we drink we hurt lots of people especially the ones closed to us get through today tomorrow is another day wish you well
Congratulations on your 151 days sober!!! You inspire me by the fact that you want to drink so bad but you don’t. I’m proud of you
Yes. 151 days down.
Hi @SaveMyself congratulations on 151 days that’s something to be very proud of that takes work 
your clearly remorseful of how you behaved in your addiction and when we were sick we were sick, addiction makes us rotten selfish humans .we can’t change the past but we can change the course of our future and you’ve proved that by getting to 151 days . Is there anyway you could make amends to the person your so sad for being mean to? 
Well done on 152 days sober! I hope you see how outstanding this is and how far you’ve come already.
It always helped me to look ahead and remind myself, that the past can’t be changed anymore. What I decide today however, will be the past I will be looking back to in a while. Keep at it, you are already making up for things by not drinking today 
Thanks everyone. I have tried to make amends w my spouse. Our relationship is so much stronger since I’ve stopped drinking.
Also, I made it through yesterday without drinking, but I was a wreck.
Healing takes time for sure. We want the pain to go away faster than it does. Part of the process for me has been learning how to be okay with not always feeling okay. Life can be really hard sometimes and we want that escape. But the old way of escaping harmed us and those around us. 151 days is amazing and you can build on that. I like others suggestions here…getting our escape in other forms…like walking or writing or reaching out (like you did!). We can learn new ways of living and being okay with the hard feelings that life brings.
Anyway…I am rambling. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.