Today is really intense. I’ve barley caught any sleep and I’m just so restless and exaughsted 
I’m still gonna keep pushing! I have no idea what would make this easier, but I really do miss adequate sleep. I’ve slept 3 hours.
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Sleep does come hard at first. Push through! Sleep when you can and lay off the caffeine 
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When I quit the first time I had a really hard time sleeping for the first couple weeks. Than it got easier, and the sleep was great. Even if it was only a couple hours I felt like I slept all night. Take some melatonin before bed. It’ll get easier
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Unfortunately I’ve been trying melatonin and it doesn’t work well with me 
It’s hard to find a good sleep aid since I’m allergic to Benadryl, which a lot of sleep aids have. I’m trying to find some good calming remedies since sleepy time tea helps me as well!
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Sleep takes time. It helps to share about it; there’s lots of sleep threads here. Search “sleep” in the search bar and you’ll find a bunch - this is one I like:
Sleep, Oh Glorious Sleep!
I find the hardest part of recovery, especially in the early days, is the feeling like your head is a mad circus, crazy voices filling it up, a noisy, chaotic space.
To help me get past that, I come here and interact, it helps; I also will share, either with people here or with recovery contacts here in my city (people I met in my recovery group).
I’ve also been learning meditation and mindfulness. I use the www.InsightTimer.com app - I focus on tracks about healthy acceptance: emotions and thoughts come and go; I am learning to be the mountain, sitting through the storm, stable at the end.
I will use the selfie camera on my phone too: I set it so I can talk to myself and see my face. “I will not act out. I will not. I accept myself and what I’m going through; I sit with it, to hear it, but I do not bury it in my addiction. I let it speak, and it passes, always. I will not act out.” I do that multiple times a day, especially when I’m feeling inadequate for whatever reason; it helps me rediscover myself and reminds me why I’m on this journey.
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This is genius! Thank you so much for the helpful insight❤️ I’m going to look into that app!
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My pleasure! Don’t give up. You are not alone: your story is the story of many people here. @Butterflymoonwoman is someone I know who has been through some of the the things you shared in your first thread (Taking new steps in sobriety. I’m really nervous!) - you are not alone at all.
It is always one day, one hour at a time; and you need to keep in touch and keep sharing. You will be scared some days, you will have rollercoaster ups and downs; share with people who know, to help you get through. Be careful about the addict voice - it will whisper to you. It is lying. Find sober contacts who can help you stay aware & be with yourself in a healthy way 
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@Tinkkk Hi Carrie! I’m sorry to hear that your not sleeping well. Sleep was hard for me too in the beginning. My mind would constantly be going when I got clean and sober. And when I would sleep, I would have awful dreams (still do at times but I am able to sleep longer now). I’m sorry I missed ur 1st post. I don’t know why I didn’t see it lol. I want you to know that you are not alone in what u did in ur past. I was a sex trade worker for many years during my using career back home. And I definitely used drugs to cope with the things that happened to me and the stuff I had to do. I’m fairly open about it on here and if u ever need to chat about stuff, ur always welcome to msg me 
I haven’t turned a trick in almost 8 years but lots of stuff comes up to this day about my past. I’m grateful ur entering a new job!! That will honestly help sooo much for ur sobriety. We need positive and healthy environments that go in line with our beliefs and with our new found recoveries. Hope u get some rest at some point today. 3 hours is definitely not enough lol hugs!
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It feels so good to know there’s another past sex worker here! I feel so much more comfortable 
Cocaine was also a big drug of choice for me, I was in the dancer industry for 4 years and it definitely took a toll on my addiction. It’s so hard to stay clean when you’re just surrounded by drugs and alcohol, especially since I’ve been sexually abused in the industry and outside of it, I had to use to be able to cope. I’m going to Amazon today to finish the enrollment process! Super stoked!
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I remember how each night I fell into some sort of comatose state, going to bed drunk. It took some time to get used to going to sleep sober but actually when I got sober I got to really sleep for the first time in years. Not a black pit but real sleep with dreams, deep sleep, light sleep, etcetera. Real sleep.
Now I work in a detox facility and I see almost all the people admitted there struggling with sleep the first couple of days. It will come to you! Here’s some advise on healthy sleep and how to achieve it. Might be of some use to you. Congrats on making it through the first day! One day at a time for all of us. Hang in there!
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If you want to turn a shit sandwich into something great just think how tough getting sober was after you’re out of the woods. The first time I got sober it was to WAY to easy so I didn’t appreciate being sober. I just had this mentality I did it once no big deal if I have to do it again. Sort of like starting a diet.
This time around I had massive withdrawals, 24 hours of straight vomiting until I was vomiting blood, hallucinations, crazy mind movies etc for the first 24-48 hours. This was just from drinking a 1/3 to a 1/2 of a handle of vodka per day. But I thank God every day for making it soooo bad I’m scared to death to touch alcohol again because I know there is no way in hell I’m going through that torture again.
So long as your doctor is cool with what you’re going through welcome the sleepness nights, the crazy deams, the nausea, the shakes etc say is that all you got knowing you’ll get through it and it’s only temporary. Sometimes growing takes pain!!!
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I saw it on a t shirt for an iron man team or something maybe it was a special unit from work can’t remember. “Embrace the suck”
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Absolutely girl! I feel u on all of this! Its a hard lifestyle to exit aswell. I was never much of a big drinker but drugs… 
And I honestly found that sex trade work was juat as addictive as drugs. I work now in group homes for adults with mental health and intellectual disabilities. And its sooo rewarding helping people and just making money the “right” way. I definitly had to learn to live on a budget tho lol but I wouldnt trade anything I have today for all the money I made back then Will u be working at an Amazon warehouse? Hope that goes well
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I used to be a CNA and I loved it❤️ I always had dreams of becoming a NICU nurse or PICU nurse❤️ I love helping people. I’m really considering going to college after I get my GED! Yes I realized how addicting it was to be a dancer, the money was addicting. Just turned into a rabbit hole.and yes I’ll be working in the warehouse for 19 a hour:)
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The beginning is hard. However…chose your hard. Hard can be drunk, hard can be a hangover, it can be a DUI…ect, ect
Stay on this path and it gets so much beter
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Now - with your feet on the ground, living your life and not running away from it - your dreams can become your reality. It will be work and you will have to persevere, one day at a time, but it will be satisfying, it will be fulfilling, and you won’t feel regret. You’ll feel proud of yourself.
You may have already looked into this (if you have, feel free to ignore me; I’m sorry to be repeating stuff you already know ), but if you haven’t yet visualized your path - your path to your goal; to make your vision real - this page has a good description of the steps (scroll down to “How Can I Become a Pediatric Nurse?”; it’s about halfway down):
It looks like first you need a nursing degree or diploma, then you get into work in nursing (in a family / pediatric environment, if your goal is to specialize in the PICU), then you take a pediatric nursing exam, to specialize. Altogether the process takes 5-8 years. (Looking at the average salaries at that link above, you’ll see it’s time well spent. Those are some pretty good salaries.)
You’ll need money
The good news is, there’s money out there if you search for it. There are thousands of scholarships for people entering college, and many of them are for people who, like you, are working through some complex stuff:
https://www.careeronestop.org/toolkit/training/find-scholarships.aspx
The US government has a very informative page for adult students applying to college - it lists all the steps and gives you links to find funding and to go through the steps to success:
https://studentaid.gov/resources/prepare-for-college/checklists/adult-student
It’s a process, yes, and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but if you have the determination and courage it takes to get sober, you have what you need to reach this goal too.
You can be what you want to be 
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That’s great
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