I thought I’d post on here and maybe that would help. I’m on day 2 clean after a relapse. For some reason I woke up really wanting to use and it’s stayed with me, I just really really want to use. I’m not going to because I have work tomorrow morning and I don’t want to lose everything again but I’m really struggling. 
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Urges are normal and they are the addict mind being tricky.
There’s nothing logical about them so you don’t reason with them; you don’t have to understand them.
Keep active here, ask for help, reach out.
Go to a virtual meeting - it’s a safe space where you aren’t alone:
Online meeting resources
Ask yourself, am I “HALT”? Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Any of those can trigger us. If you care for those, it helps.
Another option is do something creative. Cook something. Sketch something. Reorganize your furniture.
Stick with us 
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You’re not going to use because you don’t do that no more Sam! The reason you want to use is because you relapsed. You woke the sleeping dragon. Now you have to fight it. And you are. You can do this. Together with us. You are here. You are asking for help. You are engaging with us. Keep doing that, stay in contact. And find distractions.
Also please realize that cravings and urges are just that. They are not commands that have to be followed. They can be nasty and convincing but they are only voices in your head. You can withstand 'm. You don’t have to give in. Hang in there! You’re doing good which I can see bc you are here. Keep going.
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Thank you, I know not to listen to it anymore I’ve been down this road enough to know it only leads to losing everything. I have a toddler so I don’t really have time to listen to my wants/ needs which has been a whole other struggle that I need to figure out.
Thanks so much! You’re right I don’t do that no more! But I definitely have awoken a sleeping dragon haha
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